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Video: Relationship With A Single Mother: Saving Or Destroying A Family?
The statistics are relentless: more than half of families end up in divorce. This means that there are many mothers raising children alone. To them must be added those who, for some reason, gave birth to a child in all marriages. It doesn't matter, after an unsuccessful relationship or especially "for yourself. Most of these women enter into relationships or even get married. This means that there are men who do not mind that their woman may have a child from another. How is this relationship different?
The content of the article
- 1 Place dots over it
- 2 If, after all, the relationship
- 3 Her ex
- 4 Why all this?
Place dots over ёi
So it turns out that the girl you met is not alone. Does it change anything? Sure. There is someone in her life for whom she is responsible. Who is much more important to her than any man. This does not mean at all that she does not need a man. Needed, and how!
Of course, she was used to being responsible. Her responsibilities towards the child include not only maternal, but also paternal. This does not mean at all that she is asleep and sees how to outweigh all the responsibility. This means that sometimes she needs to be allowed to be just a woman. It also means that she is quite vulnerable. It is hard for her to learn to trust and it is doubly difficult to realize that she has been betrayed.
Therefore, it is worth thinking very carefully before starting a relationship. No, no, you do not need to immediately try on the responsibilities of raising her child. You just need to clearly understand what you expect from your relationship and discuss with her. If all you need is sex, it may very well be that she will not mind. She needs it too, so it doesn't have to work. There will be no unnecessary hopes and worries with reproaches. There will be only sex. And, by the way, then certainly there is no threat of acquaintance with her child. This is just in case the thought of children is scary.
If it's still a relationship2
First of all, you need to get used to the idea that there are two of them, they are a family, with their own rules, foundations and orders. And she is the head of this family. Perhaps someday this will change, but you should not immediately try to take the reins of government and responsibility.
First, you can not calculate your own strength. It is not simple. In addition, that you need to convince her that now she is not the main one, you will also have to convince the child of this, at the same time trying to improve relations. It’s illogical, right? Therefore, it is better to do everything in order: first, relations are built, trust is won, and only then, if necessary, the reins of government are taken into hands. Three tasks in turn, and certainly not all at once.
Second, she may not be ready to hand over control to someone else. Especially if you have been alone for a long time or always. This is a very decisive step and it takes time to take. We need to give her the opportunity to want to give responsibility for both of them.
At first, no matter how difficult it is, you need to obey the rules established by her. They are a family, there are two of them. You need to join their family, and not break it.
This is just the case when you can't get away from the former. Legally, he is the father of the child, has every right to be present in their life, and therefore in your common one.
This has positive aspects: you can be alone, material, and moral responsibility for the child lies with him too, therefore, if there were no children of your own before, it is not so scary to become a father.
The negative sides are quite obvious: this is another man who will have to be reckoned with and, one way or another, interact. And yes, the child will definitely someday say: "But daddy speaks differently!" And even if you're right, he'll believe his father. Deal with it. If he grows up, he will understand. Do not try to argue, you will only ruin everything.
If the father is not present or he does not participate in their life, there will be no problems associated with him. There will be others. You are now a father. With all the ensuing consequences. And remember that these two already once remained of no use to anyone except each other. Making them believe in you is a big responsibility.
Why all this? 4
It would seem: why do we need such a relationship? Why, besides a woman, do you need a child? Around is full of free, young, childless. It's all over, so, but if this is love, then no "others" seem to exist. Even if common sense, friends and mom say that it is not. It couldn't be better and that's it.
If a firm decision is made to be only with her and go through all the difficulties, then a great reward awaits: her experience taught her to value relationships and love. This is hardly possible with a young and inexperienced girl.
And one more bonus: you now have a son or daughter. You can probably play football with him, and building male relationships with an already grown child is sometimes easier than with a baby, especially if this is the first baby with whom you communicate in your life. And she is so similar to your beloved that you are simply amazed. And it seems that he begins to love you touchingly and tries to take care of you in an adult way. And you teach by the names of the Winx fairies. In general, it will be fun!