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Video: How Not To Become Henpecked: Signs Of Behavior, Methods Of Treatment
Any man subconsciously wants to become an alpha male. He must be at the head of everything, clearly and rigidly rule in the family. But there are situations when a woman commands and stands at the helm. Therefore, you need to know how not to become henpecked in a relationship.
The content of the article
- 1 Main characteristics
- 2 Is everything bad?
- 3 Reasons for the formation
- 4 Methods of salvation
The main feature of the heel is the fact that a woman decides everything for it. It doesn't matter what area the issues concern - promotion to work, home renovation or a trip to the sea. In this position, the representative of the stronger sex is left to silently perform and endure.
Some guys like this position. Most often, they grow up with an authoritarian mom who is used to pushing her husband and son around. Children always absorb the parenting pattern. Some men are happy with this state of affairs, since they do not have to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions.
For example, a woman decides to buy a dishwasher with a lot of functions and an attractive 80% discount. Despite all the seller's assurances that this is "an old model with a scratch on the case," the car breaks down after a week of operation.
It is easy for a henpecked to shrug his hands, say that he did not choose it and let the lady deal with the repair herself. His conscience is clear and he does not have to burden himself.
Being under your thumb means:
- inability to cope with the role;
- refusal to take on male functions;
- loss of confidence.
The transformation takes place gradually and sometimes a person ceases to notice that he is in a humiliating position. Someone gets so used to the image that they don't even want to change anything.
Is everything bad? 2
There is a stereotype in society that being henpecked is bad. That such men are despised, humiliated, ridiculed. In fact, life is multifaceted and cannot be answered unequivocally.
There is a type of women who are distinguished by their will, the core within and the captain's position. They like to manage, steer, command and feel like the head of everything. They do not need a companion with a strong character nearby.
But subconsciously, she will want a strong, attractive man with an active life position next to her. Therefore, the henpecked man will quickly get tired of her, and she will send him into retirement.
The man himself needs to decide whether he likes to be in a servile position, when everyone can point out, order and demand to do something against his will.
If not, then you will have to seriously work on changing your behavior.
Reasons for formation3
In the zone of risk of becoming henpecked are people from disadvantaged families. Boys growing up without a father do not have the right example before their eyes. Divorced women transfer love to boys, fearing to lose him, command and control life.
A guy with low self-esteem will be easily overwhelmed by a strong and strong-willed woman. He himself will not notice how he becomes a devoted servant to her.
In order to understand how not to become henpecked, you need to know how the transformation takes place. Ladies use simple manipulations - scandal, pressure on pity, tantrums, loud divorces, attempts to remove friends.
All this happens gradually and a person does not notice how his social circle is thinning, he is less and less called somewhere. Alarms are easy to identify. If the wife keeps calling and demanding to come home, if she wants hourly whereabouts reports, then these are signs of an unhealthy relationship.
The difficulty in healing is that the guy perceives his role as normal. He saw her since childhood, she kept within his psyche as ordinary. It does not occur to him that things are different and that everything can be changed. Sometimes an epiphany comes after some important event that shook me greatly.
Getting rid of the henpecked role is not so easy. We'll have to radically change the way of thinking. First you need to stop being afraid to make decisions. In a couple, a man has an equal right to vote. Do not blindly follow the lead of a woman.
You need to take part in the distribution of money. Even if a man gives all his salary to a woman, and she already decides where and what to spend, he should inquire about spending. If a woman does not take into account the opinion of her partner at all, she should defend it gently.
You should not try to meet all the requirements of a woman. In a healthy union, dialogue reigns between spouses. Not orders and ultimatums. Therefore, if a lady offers to unexpectedly find a second job, you need to remind her of her personal professional activities.
Rest control should not be allowed. If a lady always criticizes gathering with friends, forbids fishing, hunting or sitting in the garage, this is a bad sign. Any attempt to punish intimacy, dinner, etc. things need to be stopped.
In healthy relationships, partners build a constructive dialogue and respect each other's opinions. If this does not happen, then you should be wary.