Table of contents:
- Indicator 1. Behavior model_1
- Indicator 2. Verbal signs_2
- Indicator 3. Actions _3
- What real love looks like
Video: How To Understand That You Are Loved For Real And Not Change Yourself
Every person experienced love. Someone was lucky, and he lives in a happy marriage, and someone is still in search, though, and went through a bunch of options. It is normal that a person tries to find someone with whom he will be comfortable. But people are not telepathic, and each time the question arises: how to understand that they really love you, how not to make a mistake once again in the choice. After all, losing a loved one is difficult, and starting a new relationship is more and more difficult each time.
The content of the article
- 1 Indicator 1. Behavior model
- 2 Indicator 2. Verbal signs
- 3 Indicator 3. Actions
- 4 What true love looks like
Psychologists have identified and developed three indicators by which you can navigate: behavior model, verbal signs, actions. Of course, they can only be considered in aggregate and only with a joint pastime. Although, distance has never been an obstacle to the manifestation of feelings, but nevertheless, it is better to be close to complete the picture.
Indicator 1. Behavior model_1
He is who he is
When a person loves, he opens up to his partner as much as possible. In life, you can be a beech, and grumpy, and stubborn, and obstinate, and overly strict, and even rude. But coming home, and finding himself alone with his soul mate, he suddenly changes dramatically: cheerful, silly, funny, flexible and incredibly affectionate.
All this speaks of maximum emotional openness, which means he is very comfortable and cozy. He is not afraid to show his true "I", not afraid to be weak, not afraid to look stupid. He does not need to be perfect from all sides, because he is accepted as he is.
Who always greeted with delight, no matter what? Of course a dog. But can a person do that? Rarely. How many evenings were there in ringing silence when the day was wildly hard? Lots of. But a loving person always revives if he sees his beloved. After all, who, if not him, can whine, whine and ask to blow on a mental wound. And there is a second category of people. On the contrary, they seek to hide their sorrows, and even having come gloomier than the clouds, they try to leave all the negative outside the door, so as not to spoil the evening and not hurt.
Oh, this is a great indicator. Only an adoring person can look at the object of love with such eyes. They seem to be covered with a veil, in their eyes there is not dullness, but fog, with sparks of tenderness and flashes of fire. Someone's eyes darken and become deeper, while others begin to shine. This does not at all indicate the degree of adoration, it is just an individual reaction of the body. But nevertheless, it is very revealing. In addition to the look, the facial expression can also be noted: it is always the same and does not change. As a rule, it is serious, slightly thoughtful, and sometimes a smile, slightly noticeable, can touch the lips.
This is the normal behavior of a loving person, which does not depend on age. Pillow fights, catch-ups, dousing with water, snowballs in winter and merry floundering in the snow: loving people are capable of these tomfoolery at 16, 20, 30, and 60 years old. A person can burst out laughing, even if the joke is not very funny, he can laugh with or without reason. And the appearance next to him makes him nervous, fidgeting, and perform erratic actions.
The best definition of a person's true love is emotional interaction. As an example, this is the transmission of negative emotions. If the object of love is very sad, or the physical condition leaves much to be desired, then the loving person will certainly react. And often somatically. Everyone has heard stories when spouses feel each other's state at a distance.
How husbands experience pains almost the same as the wife when their long-awaited child is born. Not to mention the critical moments when one of the spouses dies, and the other half acutely feels his departure. These are all non-fictional stories, and they are very revealing.
Indicator 2. Verbal signs_2
Forecasting the future
When a person truly loves, he does not just dream of what will happen in a year, two, three. He speaks of the future as if it were already predetermined. For him it is in the order of things to predict events, situations, to be sure that everything will be the same and not otherwise. He clearly and clearly sees joint children and has a plan for their development. He determines the place of residence and the interior of the house. He builds projects for the field of activity and thinks over a plan for its development. Moreover, his predictions can go so far that even old age seems quite transparent and tangible.
Such things happen because a person is confident in his feelings, he sees himself in the future only next to his soul mate. And if at the same time he begins to back up his predictions with actions, then there is no need to even doubt that this love is real.
Compliments: quality or quantity
Compliments can vary. The fact that this shirt is to the face or hairstyle is especially successful today can be obtained from colleagues at work. But significant compliments that characterize character traits are an essential sign. As a rule, they talk about the confidence that a person gains by being around, about the wings behind his back, about the reliability of the rear and shoulder. Such speeches should not sound every single day, otherwise their significance will disappear, and they will develop into banal routine phrases. How to understand that you are really loved? Yes, just to hear a compliment. This is enough to draw conclusions.
Words of love
Many couples come up with their own slang, with which they declare their love. But no less important is the tone in which it is pronounced. At the moment of pronouncing a confession, a person's voice changes, it becomes deeper, lower, more capacious in sound.
In this case, a person will always look into the eyes. It is impossible to wash the dishes and mutter "I love you" to my husband. It will sound in passing, about nothing. But if a guy is driving a car, and turns at the moment of pronouncing a phrase to look at a girl, then yes, there is no doubt about his feelings.
A loving person never hides anything. No, he can, of course, for fear of hurting his partner, try to keep silent about something, but his half will definitely pull him into conversation. So, if in the course of a conversation, a person is completely naked and does not try to hide either thoughts or emotions, then you can be confident in feelings.
When a person truly loves, he trusts. So he will tell you about everything: about childhood, and about difficult situations, and about his fantasies, and about fears. Especially intimate is the phrase "I have never told anyone about this." If she sounded, then there can be no doubts about the veracity of feelings.
Love you when you are far away
Separation is an excellent indicator of sincerity of feelings. It is she who very often puts all the dots on the "i". In such a situation, loving people correspond, call up. They wish each other good morning and good night, talk about the past day, and are interested in the affairs of the person who left. Moreover, the timing of the trip does not matter. Even if it's a business trip for just a couple of days. But if the trip dragged on, and the cat cried the news, you should think about it.
A sober look
Only careless people wear pink glasses. It is important to see a person for real. And if the partner perfectly notices all the shortcomings, and pronounces them, but the attitude does not change, then it is worth talking about the sincerity of feelings. The only thing to see is the moment of criticism. Constant criticism is still a complaint, and if it is regular, then it is no longer love.
Nagging and constructive criticism are different things that have nothing in common. The intonation with which it is pronounced is also important. Again, the complete absence of any condemnation should be alarming. You can't be infinitely perfect. If the partner is satisfied with everything, then perhaps it is not love, but the habit is nearby and complete indifference.
On the same wave
A very important sign is respect for opinion. And a person can be worried about absolutely everything. A girl will not buy a new dress without consulting a guy, and a guy will not go for a new tie without his beloved. Even if tastes do not coincide at some point, the couple will go to seek a compromise, and no one will indulge their selfishness. After all, you can always find something that will suit both. Of course, you should not fall into prostration if some things are done without the participation of a partner, but the solution of the most significant issues should take place together.
Indicator 3. Actions _3
First, First, welcome
A loving person will always not only listen, but also hear what they are trying to convey to him. This does not mean at all that the partner should be Mukhtar at the foot. This suggests that a person respects an opinion, he is ready to hear and accept it. But he can do as he sees fit. In principle, the principle of advice is built on this. If the opinion is interesting and not devoid of meaning, while also promising the correct outcome, then the partner will do as he is advised or asked. In general, listening is very important for a relationship.
Chip and Dale rush to the rescue
If a person really loves, then there is no question for him to help or not. Even if he is busy with his own business, resting or something else, he is always ready to be distracted to rush to help. Everyone knows this and everyone does it. But to what extent is the partner ready to take on a certain range of responsibilities if there is an event ahead? For example, walking the dog during a business trip or other absence? Will he come rushing by at 3 am, if something goes wrong or if the pipes just burst?
Will he take a day off to visit his pet if she is in the hospital? Anyway, how ready is he to be there when everything is bad? Not everyone is capable of this. Nevertheless, this is a serious indicator. What if the couple was doing great, and then the young man lost his job? Is his couple ready to experience financial difficulties and take part of the spending on themselves? Oh, this is a stumbling block for many.
Chest of nishtyakov
Everyone loves being cared for. But true love is not chocolate or ice cream. True love is a tank filled up on time by the car, polished shoes at the doorstep, a warm jacket brought to the office when the weather suddenly deteriorates. This is breakfast not only on Sundays, and hot chocolate at night. This is a pharmacy, if an illness overtakes it, this is bread and milk upon returning home.
In general, nishtyaks should be real, not banal signs of attention.
What real love looks like
True love is a very rare feeling. She is disinterested, she is forgiving, she is absolutely undemanding. She doesn't care about mistakes, she has no time or boundaries. She wants nothing in return. True love is selfless and gives complete freedom. It allows you to do whatever you want. The power of true love is inexhaustible. It looks like a huge river that flows and changes, but the current is not visible.
True love has several phases:
- Start. At this time, love is stormy, fast, hot. This is love.
- Flow. This is love itself. It is wide and deep. It changes: now with breakers and rapids, then neither wrinkles, nor hazel grouses. She just moves in her direction.
- Thanks. This is the end of love. Rather, the end of life. When one of the partners leaves, all he wants to hear is thanks for all the years.
These are all the points and signs that allow you to understand that you are truly loved.
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