Table of contents:
- Another woman
- Internal conflict2
- Midlife crisis3
- Escape from the Relationship Model4
- All Men Need Is Love 5
- Communication is very important6
- No commitment7
Video: What Is The Reason For A Man To Leave The Family For His Mistress?
If a man leaves, this does not mean that he no longer loves. He may have problems with himself, and this is how he tries to solve them. Why do they go to their mistresses? It's never too late to figure out the answer to this question. There is nothing more difficult in this world than building a relationship between a man and a woman.
The content of the article
- 1 Another woman
- 2 Internal conflict
- 3 Midlife crisis
- 4 Escape from the relationship model
- 5 All men need is love
- 6 Communication is very important
- 7 No commitment
When a man leaves, feeling uncomfortable in a relationship, unloved, underestimated - everything is clear. But marriages, in which the wife loves, understands, washes and serves, also break up. What makes a man decide to leave his partner? Why is there often no feeling of guilt for this? Everything is explained by his complex psychology. It is widely believed that the woman is complex and incomprehensible, and the masculine nature is quite simple. This is absolutely not the case. On the one hand, a man needs love and a stable relationship, on the other, he feels that leaving will bring him relief.
It often seems that the other woman is the main reason for a man to leave his wife and family. It would seem that all that is needed is to look younger, become more sexual or even less demanding - and a fundamental turn will take place in life, and long-term relationships will not fade into the background. But, according to many psychologists, the other woman is not the decisive reason why a man leaves his partner. In most cases, he was already thinking about leaving because he felt frustrated with the relationship. A new woman for them is just a lifeboat in which he escapes from everyday monotony.
Why do they go to their mistresses? Yes, living together is not easy. This is a constant conflict, problems and resentments. And the male ego is unlikely to tolerate criticism. The more demanding and unhappy a wife is, the less satisfaction and joy in a man's life, and the more disappointment and desire to run away.
A woman, dissatisfied with her relationship, speaks about it openly - she makes scandals, arguments, tries to change her partner, demands change. A man in such a situation hides his feelings for a long time and only after a while begins to really analyze the situation. Therefore, he leaves first emotionally and only then physically. The new woman gives him what he does not receive from his partner - recognition and passion of feelings.
And therefore, since over the years, almost any relationship appears routine, and sex becomes less exciting - romance also provides an opportunity to escape from everyday life, to experience something special, spontaneous, new. However, often a man does not like the woman to whom he leaves. He only likes his idea of her. He begins to live in captivity of fantasies that he has finally found someone who is perfect, who will understand all his needs.
It is to such a heroine of her dreams that it is much easier to give her feelings than to a woman of flesh and blood who lives next to her. In addition, the man finds great joy in finding a new mistress. This is presented as a challenge and at the same time as a contradiction. To achieve his goal, he can do a lot - he will give up his own needs and forget his preferences. However, once he gets it, he begins to feel trapped.
Each attitude is a compromise, restrictions, rules and norms, the need to take into account the needs of another person, meeting his expectations. Men don't like it very much. They often feel that by permanently bonding with a woman, they lose their independence, they cannot find their true essence. Sometimes they get the impression that their life is false, that they have to pretend to be someone they are not.
Men cannot tolerate dependence on a partner, they think that then they lose their masculinity. They leave because they cannot give up freedom, they want to be themselves. Often their escape has nothing to do with quality of life. Unfortunately, no matter how good a man feels in a relationship, there is almost always a moment when there is a need to change and discover something new.
The question of why they go to their mistresses poses difficult and at the same time solvable problems for women. Usually a man runs away from a particular woman, from obligations, gray reality and feelings of dissatisfaction. Often he does not even understand what he is looking for. He doesn't realize that he doesn't really need another woman, he needs another life. Perhaps he could satisfy his needs and desires without leaving his partner, but improving his current relationship. But, as a rule, it is easier for a man to say "it's over."
Throwing their partners and twenty and thirty, but usually he is forty. A man at this age is going through a particularly difficult period. He understands that time is passing inexorably, that youth, energy and life itself are not eternal. Now is the time to make your dreams come true. Time to think about your life, find its purpose and meaning. Because if not now, then when?
Therefore, unmet needs are reborn. He wants to develop, realize his desires, make up for lost years and gain new experience. If the relationship does not give him complete satisfaction, his tolerance decreases, the marriage torments him more and more.
During a midlife crisis, a man reaches the so-called saturation point. He feels that he can no longer bear difficult situations. Thinking about his life, which is rapidly melting, the man mentally gives up. The prospect is unbearable for him, and he has no choice but to leave.
Many people do not hesitate to break up with their partner. They want to free themselves from limitations, and the wife and family seem to be the biggest obstacles in life. Therefore, a man leaves his family, he drops the burden of responsibilities and begins to search for lost time. The decline in sexual activity causes an overwhelming need to test his masculinity, hence the relationship with young, attractive mistresses.
Often such a man does not want to see how badly he injures his relatives, he does not allow himself to think that he is destroying his family. If he can satisfy his repressed needs, he will find hundreds of explanations to avoid feeling guilty.
The midlife crisis is a time of opportunity for men, but also for risky decisions. A new partner is really only meant to test masculinity and is often not the kind of woman to start life with from the beginning.
Escape from the Relationship Model4
Living with a mistress is not always a good decision. New happiness ends very quickly when everyday reality begins. Some men wake up from sleep after a year or two. They claim to be in a different marriage and begin to miss their previous wife and family. It is often, unfortunately, too late to save old relationships.
A man does not run away from a woman, but from a relationship model that he cannot change. Not a woman, but relationships become a prison for a man. He is enslaved by his own internal blockages and limitations. He feels depressed, used, enslaved, criticized, underestimated.
Emancipated women, free men are an example of modern culture. You can hear everywhere - let's not limit ourselves, let's enjoy life. Relationship difficulties are increasingly affecting those living in intense internal conflict.
On the one hand, life is full of images of freedom that people should enjoy, so many opportunities, so many adventures around. On the other hand, it has become fashionable to be with someone for a long time. It's not easy, however, so when men destroy a relationship and leave, they blame their partner for everything. This is rationalization so as not to feel bad, not to feel guilty.
All Men Need Is Love 5
Men want love. But once their sense of freedom and independence is broken, they feel frustrated and alone. Attachment to change, to eternal fun breeds sadness. Many men feel this way, sadness and loneliness, especially those who choose freedom.
A fleeting relationship is like fireworks in the sky, a lot of noise and smoke. It would seem a colorful show, but it quickly fades into the past. This is something other than the stars that are constantly in the sky. When there are many changes in the relationship of long-term partners, a sense of security and trust cannot develop. In a strong relationship, partners get to know each other deeper and deeper, their strengths and weaknesses. There may be quarrels, differences and crises, but from this they only grow up, becoming stronger and stronger.
But if you abandon the relationship, the chance for development disappears. The price of freedom can be very high. Many men find that over time they regret it. This is a captivity from which there seems to be no way out.
Communication is very important6
Unfortunately, man and woman do not communicate properly with each other, because no one has taught them this. We need to realize that the way we talk to each other is of great importance. There are principles of good communication that protect against escalating anger, aggression, and grief. When a man feels attacked, his reflex response is defense, counterattack, or withdrawal, just escape. Incredibly, this is also a signal for a man to run away from a relationship.
Men are more action oriented than women, which means they show feelings in different ways. Men appreciate a woman who loves them, admires them, praises them, says how resourceful and wonderful a man is.
While women usually need a strong psychological bond, men often express their feelings through physical intimacy or sex. When the wife does not want to get closer, the man interprets it as follows - "she rejects me as a person." Using sex as a bargaining chip is emotional blackmail that can alienate him. Negotiation plays an important role. Quitting sex too often can make your partner think that you don't love him as much as you used to, and in return will also show you less feelings.
Every person can change. But it's better to focus on your own selfishness than trying to change your partner's behavior. Unfortunately, some women see marriage as a starting point for a “spouse transformation”. When a man notices that home and family are no longer his castle, he ceases to feel like a real man and it seems to him that he is in the middle of an empty field where he cannot exist. If a woman eliminates some of his qualities and habits at any cost, the man will certainly decide that it will be easier to leave.
Research confirms that money is one of the main sources of misunderstanding in marriage. The family budget management scheme is very important for maintaining the right relationship. If a woman is going to book tickets or buy a dishwasher, the man needs to know about it. The same goes for the decision to spend the weekend together. Planning together can be a lot of fun.
Men are visual by nature, they perceive the world in most cases through their eyes. Unsurprisingly, a heterosexual man will definitely notice a pretty woman. When the wife cannot accept this, the man will feel offended and will have to defend himself and explain something, although the look itself is not a big cause for concern. Various comments, ambiguous behavior, showing interest in another woman - this can be a sign of a lack of commitment.
Naturally, mothers raise their children differently from fathers, and as it turns out, this is not necessarily better. Several studies show that normal, often even chaotic, playfulness with a father can provide many benefits to children. But resentful male pride grows when their children are not developing properly, when the mother is not educationally competent. When a woman does not trust her husband as a father, she sends him a message that he is making a mistake in the relationship, and she is the only one right. Men should be encouraged to look after a child, because the father's role in raising children is indispensable.
Research shows that aspiration and forgiveness go a long way toward satisfying a marriage. However, one should beware of empty words and promises. In times of conflict, a simple “sorry” is not enough. To be forgiven, the wife needs to understand where she went wrong and why she upset her husband so much. She must admit her mistake, bear the consequences of her decisions and ask him what she can do so that he forgives her. The magic words "I love", "I'm sorry" and "thank you" should be an integral part of any relationship.
Why do they go to their mistresses? Because a man needs love. That is why he will never leave his partner when he feels accepted, appreciated and loved. It is very important for him to have a successful sex life and that he can be himself in a relationship. Then the man can move mountains.