Equality Or Power Seizure: What To Strive For In A Relationship?

2023 Author: Miles Ford | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-11-27 13:10

Who is in charge in the relationship? Probably many will answer that it depends on a particular area. When the question is about your relationship with your partner, what is your answer? Are you in charge or a partner? There is not always a clear answer to this question, and this is normal.

The content of the article

• 1 The old model of exercising power
• 2 Is intimacy addiction a manipulation?
• 3 What conclusions follow from this?

Given this question, the answer is often financial. Often, the one who makes money is the main one in the relationship. This person brings money to the family, and can fully dispose of these funds. The financial side of the issue is known to significantly affect other areas of life.

The old model of exercising power

At a time when the emancipation of women was not so active, the relationship of heterosexual couples was based on the fact that the woman looked after the household, created home comfort, and the man earned money for further existence. It was a former standard that has been in effect for a long time, right up to the present day. This is a typical model of the distribution of rights, responsibilities and a dominant position, where the man was in charge. Even if the head of the family gave all the money to the woman, she had no right to completely dispose of it - only with the consent of her husband. After all, he is in charge!

There was another criterion by which the leader of the family was determined. Power belonged to someone who comes from a more noble and status family. But this rule only works when both partners value social status, even if this factor does not affect the couple's life in any way.

Intimacy addiction - manipulation? 2

Nowadays, when partners have more or less equal division of rights and responsibilities, when both have the right to occupy leadership positions at work, in an intimate sense, there can be a serious imbalance. Anyone who wants to do it more (less) … depends to some extent on the second person.

The difference in temperaments in bed is one of the most common reasons for contacting sexologists. Most of them have perfect similarities in all aspects of family life, but differences in love preferences nullify everything. Each partner may have different preferences in terms of television programs, pastime, types of recreation, meals. These things can be adjusted if desired. But intimacy with each other cannot be adapted in any way. This is where the dominance of one partner and the subordination of the other arise.

Sometimes the difference in the need for intimacy is quite natural. But sometimes this imbalance is a deliberate seizure of power by those who feel overwhelmed in other areas of the relationship. In such a relationship, the person who wants more intimacy is completely dependent on who wants it less. Perhaps the feminine "I have a headache" is a kind of manipulation? Revenge for a man's suppression of female nature in other aspects of the relationship? Someone with a higher libido may feel resentful that their partner does not share the same.

What are the implications of this? 3

Nothing can be done about differences in libido or financial gains, which in some couples are the same as power. Honestly, inequality in other areas of life cannot be influenced in any way. Instead of digging into it, figuring out who actually has the greatest power range, it's best to focus on what each does best. If each person independently chooses his sphere of influence (not on his own whim, but for objective reasons), then in the end it will turn out that everyone dominates in his own sphere. Equality is built on this.