The Psychology Of Love And Being In Love - How To Distinguish Between These Two Feelings

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The Psychology Of Love And Being In Love - How To Distinguish Between These Two Feelings
The Psychology Of Love And Being In Love - How To Distinguish Between These Two Feelings

Video: The Psychology Of Love And Being In Love - How To Distinguish Between These Two Feelings

Video: The Psychology Of Love And Being In Love - How To Distinguish Between These Two Feelings
Video: Crush vs Love | Signs of Infatuation That You May Confuse With True Love 2023, March
Love and falling in love
Love and falling in love

Falling in love is a feeling that everyone can experience: from a very young teenager to a deeply elderly person. It flares up like a spark, but also dies down quickly. Sometimes, the spark develops into a calm fire of love. Poems are written about these feelings, songs are composed, films are shot, theatrical scenes are performed, but how to distinguish between love and being in love? What is true love? Is love at first sight possible? How to keep the passion inherent in falling in love for many years?

The content of the article

  • 1 Stages of love formation
  • 2 How does it happen in men?
  • 3 How does it happen in women?
  • 4 How long does love last?
  • 5 What is love?
  • 6 Love at first sight - is it possible?
  • 7 Stages of love formation
  • 8 Signs of love and falling in love
  • 9 What is the difference between love and being in love?

From a scientific point of view, falling in love is interpreted as a kind of state of consciousness, accompanied by the release of dopamine, a feeling of inspiration, happiness, and also an illusion in which a person ascribes non-existent characteristics to the object of love. In this state, the lover does not notice the shortcomings, negative features of character, appearance, exaggerating the dignity and strengths of a person. Therefore, the well-known proverb "love is evil, you will love the goat" refers more to falling in love than to love.

Interesting processes take place in the heads of lovers. The experiment involved people describing their condition as "head over heels in love", "unreal love" and "love at first sight." When the subjects were shown photographs of their beloved, four zones were activated in the cerebral cortex. Two of them are also activated by the use of various drugs. In addition, these zones are responsible for euphoria, sexual arousal, the experience of happy love and readiness for action.

Stages of love formation

The stages of the formation of love in men and women are somewhat different. They can proceed fairly quickly, or they can stretch for a long amount of time. But, in general, all couples have the same stages of falling in love.

How does it happen in men? 2

The first stage is sympathy. The young man notices a girl among others who is attractive to him in appearance. Sympathy can arise at the first meeting, or maybe after a few casual meetings. One way or another, he wants to look at her, to attract attention. Most often, a man cannot determine what exactly he liked this or that girl

Fall in love with a girl
Fall in love with a girl

If young people regularly see each other, but further stages of falling in love have not come, sympathy for the physical image will remain. At the same time, there can be quite a lot of pretty young girls.

  • The second stage is passion. This stage is characterized by the activity of a man: he gets to know each other, shows signs of attention, actively looks after. Whether further formation of the relationship continues at this stage depends on the girl, whether she accepts his courtship.
  • The third stage is impressions. If the courtship is accepted, the relationship continues. At this stage, it is important for a man to make an impression, show himself from his best sides, surprise, perform a feat for her.
  • The fourth stage is persuasion. The young man wants to be sure that his feelings are mutual. He still tries to impress by worrying about how she feels about him.
  • The fifth stage is testing your own feelings. If the girl reciprocates, the man begins to think and ask himself about the necessity and significance of this relationship. Usually, being at this stage, a man can disappear for several days without explanation and return if he decided to continue the relationship.
  • The sixth stage is readiness. In case of a positive decision, the man is ready to develop a serious relationship with his chosen one.

How does it happen in women? 3

The first stage is sympathy. Just like men, women, first of all, pay attention to appearance, physical attractiveness, behavior in society

How to know that you are in love
How to know that you are in love

At this stage, the development of falling in love is impossible if young people see each other extremely rarely. Often, girls are actively looking for meetings with the chosen one on their own, in order to see each other as if by chance, to draw attention to themselves.

The second stage is attention. If sympathy is mutual and the man began active courtship, the girl shows attention in return. She flirts, waits for calls, surprises, meetings

Justified jealousy at this stage can destroy a relationship that has not yet begun.

The third stage is "the same". At this stage, a woman's eyes are burning, she shines, prettier, smiles, and, as they say, flies in the clouds. For her, the beloved becomes an ideal, the very prince on a white horse. She is drawn to him emotionally and physically

We give the exact definition of the word "love" in our next article at the link.

How long does being in love live? 4

Due to the fact that the brain is unable to constantly maintain the activity of the zones responsible for maintaining the feeling of falling in love, this state can last from one and a half to three years. Therefore, the expression “love lives for three years” is not true, it would be more correct to say: love lives for three years, and then love begins (not for everyone).

Love or falling in love
Love or falling in love

However, it was found that such a strong feeling can last much longer in the case of unrequited love. The lover seems to be stuck in this feeling and cannot move on. This phenomenon was called "Russian love", when a woman has been in love unrequitedly for a long time and therefore alone, cannot build a new relationship. According to statistics, six percent of Moscow women do not marry precisely because of this phenomenon. By the way, "Russian love" is exclusively for women.

What is love? 5

In order not to confuse love and being in love, it is worth realizing that true love is a feeling inherent exclusively in a person, characterized by affection, deep sympathy, a willingness to sacrifice oneself for the good of another person. Although with the first zoopsychologists would argue: some scientists believe and prove that animals that have reached the highest stage of development of intelligence, the feeling of love is also available.

"Angels call it heavenly joy, devils call it hellish torment, and people call it love," wrote Heinrich Reine. The absolute set of psychological schools is trying to understand the essence of love, to highlight its components, the mechanism of its origin. Some of them argue that love is based exclusively on physiological processes in the cerebral cortex. Others, that love is generated by the primitive instinct for procreation. Still others agree with both.

It is not surprising that the word "love" is one of the most multi-frequency. You can love ice cream and Homeland, running and loved ones, shopping and your dog. So how do you define love if it is so multifaceted? Alas, the concept of love, which would describe all its aspects, does not exist.

How to understand that this is love
How to understand that this is love

One thing is certain, love is the very feeling that makes old people to be together until the end of their days, which encourages sacrifice for the good of a loved one, which reveals a desire to care, which can make a person truly happy or unhappy.

Love at first sight - is it possible? 6

In the crowd of people, their eyes met. For a moment everything around stopped, and in my head flashed: "This is her!", "This is he, the one!". They, not noticing anyone around, go to meet each other, and, meeting face to face, their lips merge into a kiss. A romantic melody about eternal love plays in the background.

A scene from a melodrama or a fairy tale familiar to everyone. In fact, at first glance, only strong sympathy is possible, which, subject to reciprocity, can eventually develop into love. The reason for this is the duration of the formation of that very love. It is like growing a tree from a seed, it grows and gets stronger for a long time and only with proper care.

In addition, sympathy that arose from the second, third meeting can also develop into love.

Stages of love formation7

The emergence of love and falling in love are fundamentally different. The formation of true love is directly related to the development of relationships, therefore it occurs in men and women in the same way. It is customary to distinguish seven main stages of a relationship.

The first stage is falling in love or "bouquet-candy period". The most emotional, vivid, memorable stage. A time when no one exists except the lovers themselves, and you want this to go on forever. For each other, they are ideal people who are perfectly compatible. They try their best to please and impress, they cannot breathe each other.

Fall in love with a guy
Fall in love with a guy

The second stage is oversaturation. Lovers spend a lot of time together, not having time to leave, call up or write for hours. Sooner or later, this becomes a habit and does not bring the same joy. It seems that love is gone. In fact, as soon as you move away a little and devote time to yourself, everything will fall into place. Relationships are like a rubber band: the further its ends stretch, the stronger the resistance force, the brighter and more emotional the meeting.

The third stage is non-acceptance. At this stage, it seems to both that the veil has left their eyes, and the partner is not at all the same as before. They notice flaws in appearance, behavior, habits, character. Terminating the relationship at this stage, young people explain the reason for the breakup by everyday life. In fact, the real reason is not a desire to accept a person as he really is.

The fourth stage is patience. Having decided to stay together, no matter what, you will have to get used to the discovered shortcomings, and for this you need to be patient. Quarrels and disagreements at this stage arise, but not so often. A man and a woman learn to be together, get to know each other much better.

The fifth stage is trust and respect. The long-awaited beginning of true love begins here. The beloved finally realize that it is more important not to wait and demand love, but to give it. They respect each other's interests and values, even if those are contrary to their own values and interests.

The sixth stage is friendship. At this stage, the lovers come to the realization that they have no one dearer and closer. They completely trust, listen and respect, are ready to support each other both in sorrow and in joy. A real friendship arises in a couple, which they can carry through in years.

To love a girl
To love a girl

The seventh stage is love. A couple who have reached this stage of the relationship do not need loud words about love and fidelity, they are sure that this feeling is with them forever.

Signs of love and falling in love8

What is the characteristic of falling in love? Young people want to constantly be there, not apart for a minute. There is a lot of passion, crazy deeds in a relationship. The duration of the relationship is no more than a year. Both have a sense of euphoria and the confidence that they are made for each other and will last forever.

What is love characterized by? A man and a woman do not love for something, but just like that. They wish each other happiness, even if one of them leaves. They don't try to impress, but accept each other with all the pros and cons. They went through a lot and stayed together. They say: we are ours, not me, he or she. They are not halves, but full-fledged personalities who have realized that being together is more fun and more interesting than alone.

What is the difference between love and being in love? 9

Falling in love is the first step in a relationship on the path to love, but not yet herself. This is a bright, emotional period in a relationship that excites the soul and body, leaves unforgettable moments in the memory. Falling in love is accompanied by the release of happiness hormones and the activation of certain areas of the brain. Falling in love is possible at first sight, it is fleeting, unlike true love. In films, performances, musicals, poetry, it is often love that is glorified. After all, falling in love is something that is so often confused with love. For more information about the main signs of falling in love, read the link in our article.

Love or falling in love
Love or falling in love

Love is the final step in forming a relationship. This stage is achieved only in the hard, mutual work of a man and a woman, in a willingness to give in and give. This is a feeling of happiness only from the realization of the existence of a loved one.

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