Table of contents:
Video: There Is No Beloved Man. How To Break Out Of The Vicious Circle And Overcome Loneliness
"There is no beloved man" - how often this phrase is pronounced by women who are ready not only to accept love with all their hearts, but also to give it in full.
The content of the article
- 1 The burden of past relationships
- 2 Mistakes of the past
- 3 Change yourself
- 4 Where to look for your man
The burden of past relationships
From the fairer sex, who are in search of a man, you can more and more often hear that men are crumbling and sucking are not suitable for a serious relationship, and even more so for creating a family. Nevertheless, complaining about the failure of men, women are more and more overgrown with their own fears and complexes, which doom them to loneliness until the end of their days. As a rule, women who fail with every new relationship are unable to assess the past situation and realize their mistakes:
- Distortion of expectations. A woman, having met a man, can sometimes place too high hopes on him, which the man, for a number of reasons, is not ready, cannot or does not want to fulfill. Of course, getting acquainted with a young man, a girl draws in her imagination a wedding with him, a common house, children and a dog, but these are just pink castles that do not have any foundation under them.
- Lack of faith in a serious relationship. It is no secret that the materiality of thoughts is present in the Universe. Programming herself for a deliberately negative result at the beginning of the relationship, the girl will undoubtedly come to him. When visualizing her desires, a girl does not specify what kind of man she wants to meet and what kind of relationship development is expected in the end. So admirers cling to her, not suitable for her. But they are also men, only they do not quite meet the criteria of her ideal.
- A negative attitude can be the result of bad relationships in the family where the girl grew up. Perhaps she was indoctrinated with the idea that she was not beautiful or smart enough to find a mate or a decent man. Such childhood and adolescent traumas will forever remain in the heart of vulnerable people, especially women, and in the future they can develop many complexes, including in relationships with the opposite sex. As a result, there is stiffness and stiffness in the relationship, and this is not entirely acceptable, especially when a man is already expecting reciprocal steps from a woman. Therefore, when such situations repeat, considering her too inaccessible, or even a "snow queen", it is easier for a man to part with her first.
- The fear of finding yourself in a routine, getting bogged down in everyday life, disappointing or disappointed in your partner and being lonely. Fear is one of the strongest animal senses, which is responsible for the production of adrenaline in the body and helps a person to make quick and adequate decisions. The advice of psychologists is to solve problems as they come, as there are situations in the lives of couples or families that cannot be predetermined or prevented. Therefore, release from fear at the stage of starting a new relationship is especially important.
Mistakes of the past2
Some girls tend to take a breakup in short-term acquaintances as a personal resentment and defeat. This humiliates their dignity, and sometimes even on duty does not let go and prevents them from starting life anew. Psychologists advise in this situation to remember your unsuccessful relationships and past men, write their name on paper, as well as their character traits and the development of relationships, even if very short. A woman will immediately see that there is a lot in common in unsuccessful acquaintances and relationships, starting from the very acquaintance and the moment when she was left alone.
Women run the risk of falling into the trap of the past when she figuratively remains in past relationships and is not able to perceive the present adequately. Psychologists compare this behavior with a trip in a car, when it is scary to look ahead, and in the side mirror you can see the already covered path, which does not pose a danger. Likewise, people who live by memories doom themselves to be stuck in the past and are unable to open up to new impressions, emotions, and acquaintances.
When there is no beloved man, this behavior of women leads to:
- consumer attitude towards the stronger sex, when girls believe that men are needed only to give gifts, have sex, you can even drive to restaurants without emotion … In general, provide a pleasant pastime for a woman without demanding anything in return. Men tend to sense the trick in such relationships and run away first;
- promiscuous connections and acquaintances of a girl, when she is ready to throw herself on the neck of the first person she meets, just to get what she needs - a semblance of love or just sex. Even after such an attitude, a woman remains at a broken trough, not understanding what she did wrong. But there is always the opportunity to complain about the insolvency or frivolity of the guys;
- being in the role of a victim, which is very convenient for completely desperate ladies who want to put on sackcloth, and thus become inconspicuous for the whole society, or go to a monastery.
When analyzed in detail, the behavior of women in unsuccessful relationships is similar to falling into the same rake. So that another young man does not turn out to be like everyone else, women are advised to change the behavior algorithm:
- Find the cause of failure. You can do this yourself and with the help of a specialist. Examine your strengths and weaknesses, work on complexes, tightness and irritability.
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Pity is a controversial feeling that will hardly make a potential partner want to continue the relationship, since few people are interested in other people's problems, especially at the stage of dating and establishing long-term relationships. Lonely women who feel sorry for themselves are primarily associated with a dandelion grandmother who lives in an apartment surrounded by a thousand cats. They are also her joy and best friends. How do you like this prospect?
- Change the selection criteria for future elect. As a rule, there are similarities between the former. They can manifest themselves in character, appearance, demeanor. Suffice it to consider a simple example - two guys approach a girl. The first one immediately starts a conversation, is open and somewhat untied in behavior, the other is suppressed, cannot connect and a couple of words, as a rule, stands aside and is silent. Who will the girl choose? The answer is of course obvious - the first guy. But what, by and large, does he know how? Meet girls and nothing else. Perhaps for him this is the hundredth acquaintance for today and it is possible that there will be one hundred and first. The girl may unreasonably underestimate the second guy, depriving him of the opportunity to show his qualities. Yes, maybe he does not know how to get to know girls, due to his shyness or inexperience,but he may well turn out to be a pleasant and interesting conversationalist, a faithful friend and even a life partner.
Where to look for your man4
Modern Internet strips are literally full of headlines on how to find a man, remove a man, bewitch him, and so on. It is worth believing such "advice" or not, everyone will decide for himself, but there are obvious things, the logic of which is undeniable, where to look for a man who is close to a woman in spirit and emotions.
When a woman does not yet have a beloved man, psychologists advise to single out only one feature in the method of searching for him - geographical. Search for a companion in places where a woman is herself, for example, at work, an educational institution, hobby groups. In general, places where a man can express himself and open up from all sides, and not only in relationships with the opposite sex.
No beloved man? So what? If a meeting with a man of dreams is delayed for a girl, then she should start generating love herself, she can be born inside a woman and show herself in relation to children, animals, loved ones. A happy and loving person will surely attract positive emotions to himself, as well as men who have been waited for so long, but for some reason had been dozing off somewhere before.
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