Table of contents:
- Determine the reason for her suspicionsi
- Don't call her worries a burden 2
- Find a way to calm her down 3
- Don't give an ultimatum4
Jealousy is a feeling that can turn love into a nightmare. The girl looks at your phone with suspicion when she hears the sound of an incoming text; she glares at you at an office party when you are chatting with a colleague; often calls if you are spending the evening with friends. She has never caught you cheating, but she continues to act like a paranoid, and it begins to seem like you are being monitored around the clock.
The content of the article
- 1 Determine the reason for her suspicions
- 2 Don't call her worries a burden
- 3 Find a way to calm her down
- 4 Don't give an ultimatum
You love each other and don't know how to discuss her jealousy. The conversation will not end well if you resort to accusations, forcing your partner to defend herself. This will hurt feelings of insecurity and aggravate her fears. Try a few things that can help you deal with your loved one's jealousy and understand the psychology of jealousy as such.
Determine the reason for her suspicionsi
Avoid generalized accusations like, “You're too jealous. You need to overcome your fears in a relationship. " It looks like an attack, from which the girl will feel even more vulnerable. Instead, find out exactly what actions make her jealous.
Is she worried that you are still hanging out with your ex, or is she nervous when you go out drinking with friends without her? If you understand the reason for what triggers her emotional reaction, you can find arguments that can convince your partner that suspicions are unfounded. But be sure to do it calmly using specific examples.
Any normal person can feel jealous under the circumstances, admit it: “I understand that my friendship with my ex-girlfriend makes you anxious. Anyone would be jealous if you were. Please give me the opportunity to explain why this is not a problem. " Be honest with her, this will create a trusting atmosphere for the rest of the conversation and help you find a solution together.
Don't call her worries a burden 2
If you hear such indignation: “Without your jealousy, I can't even calmly answer my email. It drives me crazy when you try to read over my shoulder! What is your problem?”- this leads to emotional cheating, which often ends in a quarrel, tears, resentment. A much nicer and more positive approach to the situation: “Honey, I don’t want you to worry about our relationship, and it worries me that you might feel that way. Can we talk about this?"
If a girl is overly jealous, then she probably suffers from this herself. Chances are, she doesn't enjoy her suspicion, testing it just because she's too insecure about your relationship. Keep this in mind, and don't talk about her jealousy as a stumbling block for you. Of course it is, but for her it is also a problem. Explain that you really care about her and want to help because she is your only love.
Find a way to calm her down 3
Partners are often jealous because they don't feel validated. If a girl feels your concern, she will be more trusting: “Your worries worry us both. Will our telephone communication help you when I am not at home? Can I assure you that I love and do not cheat on you? How can we build trust in a relationship? I'm ready to work on it, are you? " You may think that such words indicate that you are following your friend's lead. But it will convince her of your feelings and reduce the level of self-doubt.
There are probably deeper sources behind her jealousy and this is something that needs to be addressed together. Have an honest dialogue, decide what you are willing to work on to ease her jealousy. There may be minor joint actions, or serious actions that will alleviate her feelings of insecurity. To help her relax, take her with you next time you meet with your ex-girlfriend to show that there is no attraction, the relationship is absolutely friendly. Give your partner the opportunity to verify this.
Don't give an ultimatum4
Even in moments of extreme irritation, do not resort to such intimidation: “If you continue to behave like a crazy jealous woman, I will leave you,” regardless of whether you have such thoughts or not. If her paranoia is making the relationship really difficult, it's time to consider other options. Perhaps pair therapy or individual sessions with a psychologist for your girlfriend will help.
Parting is a last resort. Let the thought go around in your head, but do not voice it or threaten in the hope that your friend will become less jealous. It never works as expected, but only makes the partner panic even more than before. Ultimatums turn conversation into ugly dialogue, and you both can say things that you later regret. Yes, jealousy can seriously ruin a relationship, but it's best to stay cool and make informed decisions.