You Can't Be Silent: What You Should Never Do In A Relationship

Not everything can be told to parents, and even more so to a partner, especially when it comes to skeletons in closets. But sometimes some actions seem not only blatant, but so incomprehensible that, sometimes, you do not understand anything in the opposite field. What men talk about, what women think about - films, the titles of which simply fit into the usual way of life. And for several generations and centuries it has been impossible to understand simple truths. But knowing this, everyone is able to avoid many bad thoughts and actions.

The content of the article

• 1 Do not leave when you are chased away
• 2 Never make a calculation
• 3 Don't say anything head-on

Don't leave when you are chased away

When leaving, don't leave. If a partner sometimes asks to leave, pushes behavior or words to such a conclusion, you cannot flog a fever. Scandals, tantrums and misunderstandings - now everything is said in the hearts. Psychologists call this kind of communication as “artificial distance”. A person drives away in order to free himself from negative emotions. But he really doesn't want to be dumped and left alone with a problem.

It’s strange, it’s like they’re sent, but in reality they want to stay. Well, almost like that. From my bell tower, I can say that this is a protective reflex, and it doesn’t work on purpose, when you don’t want to accidentally jump on your loved one. Because there is defense and protection: first one said something stupid, the other thought out and developed it, than made it worse, since the thoughts turned out to be wrong. The result is an explosion. Emotions, desire to leave or avoid despair.

What couples do where the exception in the form of ingenuity and wisdom is absent. Nervously demonstratively collecting things and trying to make them angry more. Involuntarily. They just go away, like touchy children, after whom you have to run and stop. And all because the partner had to silently calm down and show that he is not afraid of aggression and is ready to live in both joy and sorrow. As a result of incorrect reasoning and conclusions, couples fall apart due to misunderstandings. And it's good when both are just in different rooms - you can cool off and discuss everything.

Otherwise, the victim of the conflict ceases to show emotions, hiding them deeply. There are no problems, they are not carried out from mouth to hut. There is an innuendo, bitterness from "no one to talk to", fear of saying something wrong. It seems that everything has been decided, but in reality - it lies under a layer of perennial dust. Asking the questions "what's wrong with you, what's wrong?" Just think, is it worth it to discuss it now?

Never calculate2

Equally or later, you will want to be treated the same way as you. But never openly show that it would be nice to get something in return. You're not doing anything for the return line, are you? You cannot be forcibly sweet, and as soon as you get tired of playing a good boy or good-girl, the relationship will end. For example, if you want to do something pleasant for your loved one, do not expect a kind gesture in return. It doesn't sound very good, but from goodness - they don't seek goodness.

Encouraged by attention, of course, will agree to a request to repay in the same coin, but from the outside - a disservice. When you give so that you don't want to take. A noble refusal and unwillingness to do anything for nothing is the obvious outcome. Then, when you really want passionate sex, they will ask for "payback" in return.

It is unlikely that the relationship will last long. Therefore, in order to ask beautifully, it is enough to do it. Not necessarily immediately after a service. And yes, if a person refused this minute to fulfill the request, there is no need to turn into a whining capricious avenger in spite. He will definitely meet halfway when the desire appears. Not animals, after all. When you see that your partner is reluctant to do something, think about it, maybe this is happening not because you do not arouse desire, but because of previously received requests and "orders."

Don't say anything in the forehead3

The truth-womb works only with children, and adults. Your mom can tell you that you look bad, and you will perceive this as an incentive. Your spouse or lover is unlikely to appreciate such a gesture of care. If it seems to you that something has changed not for the better, think about whether there are good reasons for this. Perhaps there are good reasons, although, no one cancels the obligations of personal care. It's just that sometimes it's too lazy to immediately get into the shower after work, run around the house at midnight with a broom and swing a rag over the dishes.

There are flaws in many things and actions. And conversation is the head of everything. You can gently help your loved one to do things differently, the way you like. This will not be lost if the problem is announced. On the contrary.

Then you can resort to more serious manipulations in a good sense of the word. When “you can” becomes “you can't”, you start thinking with your head. Although the psychology of women and men is different, one thing remains unchanged - human relations. Even Marxism prescribed: “if you pay decently for human labor, but create unbearable conditions, the workers will leave. Here the moral and psychological component is more expensive than the remuneration. " It's the same in relationships.

If two people cannot understand each other, one cannot jump to conclusions and do stupid things. It is much wiser to find out the reason, to talk. Then many things become obvious, and in general that part of the truth that was hidden behind the scenes of scandals is exposed. Then it will be easier to say even about the most terrible things.