Table of contents:
- When does a person become aware of their orientation? I
- Throw off the weight of stereotypes2
- Be free and love yourself for who you are! 3
- Talk to a psychotherapist4
- Coming out and out5
- LGBT + community: communication with those who understand6
It has been scientifically proven that any sexual orientation is a variation of the norm. However, not in all countries the public adheres to this opinion, which is why non-heterosexual people are forced to reflect on their "normality" and experience a personal crisis. The question "how to understand that you are a lesbian?" it's very scary to say it out loud for this reason.
The content of the article
- 1 When does a person realize their orientation?
- 2 Throw off the weight of stereotypes
- 3 Be free and love yourself the way you are!
- 4 Talk to a psychotherapist
- 5 Coming out and out
- 6 LGBT + community: communicating with those who understand
Determining and accepting one's sexual orientation is often a long and difficult process that takes up a lot of emotional resources. A person needs to not only determine what sex he is attracted to, but also answer many other questions. For example, how will loved ones, especially parents and friends, react? Will they be able to accept it?
When does a person become aware of their orientation? I
Typically, a person begins to become aware of their sensory preferences during puberty, which starts at about 12 years old and ends at 20 years old. Puberty provokes a feeling of attraction, then it is reasonable to ask the question - who is it directed at, boys or girls?
Statistics show that it is in adolescence that a person determines his orientation and begins to live in accordance with this knowledge. Someone embarks on the path of acceptance, someone tries to suppress their true "I" and play an acceptable social role.
It is important to understand that sexual orientation is not a conscious choice of a person, but a reality. Nobody tries to change their eye color by sheer willpower, right? As a small confirmation, our article on the story "how I became a lesbian."
Attempts to deny who you are, lead to dysphoria and depression. Sooner or later, a person who has pretended to be someone else all his life will have to face the consequences of this decision, answer to deceived people and, more importantly, to himself.
Throw off the weight of stereotypes2
Stereotypes are born out of people who divide the world into "normal" and "abnormal". The child absorbs social stereotypes literally from the first years of life, perceives them as the only truth. Failure to comply with such norms, in turn, causes a stressful state, because it is very bad to be different from everyone else.
The most widespread social role of a woman is that of an economic daughter, a faithful spouse, who certainly acts as a keeper of the home and support for her husband, and a caring mother. Many are convinced that becoming a wife and mother is the duty of any woman.
But this is not true. A woman can be whoever she wants, has every right to never marry and not give birth to a child. And, of course, a woman can love another woman and build a healthy, lifelong romantic relationship with her partner.
First of all, you need to accept the most important truth for yourself: homosexuality is just as normal as heterosexuality. This will help you to conduct an internal dialogue with yourself and understand your own preferences without negativity and unnecessary stress.
Be free and love yourself for who you are! 3
If the question arose "how to understand that you are a lesbian?", Then the answer already lies on the surface: attraction to women is present, which determines a person's belonging to the LGBT + community. Isn't this awareness already enough?
Sexologists argue that a person's sexual preferences never stand still, they are fluid in nature, which makes it impossible to establish any norm. For example, many lesbians are able to appreciate the aesthetics of the male nude body, and bisexual people often prefer one gender, but do not consider themselves to be a homosexual minority or heterosexual majority.
Instead of going through numerous and completely useless tests for determining sexual orientation, dealing with the Kinsey scale, looking for feature articles and studying forums, languishing with a desire to determine exactly, it is much better to start learning about your sexuality in practice and doing what you want. Then the answer will not be long in coming.
Have an interest in a girl? This is just wonderful! It is imperative to satisfy him, try to chat, go out on a date and have sex in the presence of mutual desire. Perhaps something more will come out of this, and if not, then it should still be a positive experience that brings pleasure to life. To do this, it is not at all necessary to hang some kind of label on yourself.
Talk to a psychotherapist4
Because of the negative public opinion about the LGBT + community and personal crisis, not all people manage to accept their orientation calmly, without experiencing painful shame and paralyzing fear. Positive internal dialogue is impossible in a depressed state, and it is not so easy to cope with it on your own.
In this case, it is recommended to contact a psychotherapist who will help you work through all the difficult moments, talk about disturbing topics, and lead you along a difficult path to living in peace and harmony with yourself. The most important thing is to find a tolerant specialist, that is, LGBT + friendly. This point can be clarified before the session, during the first conversation on the phone.
Coming out and out5
Coming out is a voluntary recognition of one's orientation. It can be partial (for example, telling only the company of close people about yourself) or complete (the decision to live openly in all respects). Outing is the public disclosure of information about a person's sexual orientation without his consent.
Each person decides for himself whether to talk about his preferences or to keep silent so as not to face negative reactions and discrimination. This should be a very balanced decision and it is necessary to mentally prepare for the consequences. You also need to be very selective about people to whom this personal side of life can be open in order to avoid outing.
All life is small coming-outs: in front of parents, friends, colleagues. They are designed to make life easier, not complicate, so you shouldn't risk in vain and open up to those who do not enjoy the maximum level of trust.
LGBT + community: communication with those who understand6
Finding like-minded people is a natural desire for every person. It is imperative to establish friendly contacts with other representatives of the LGBT + community in order to discuss common topics, share knowledge, support each other, and just have a great time.
Despite the fact that there are not so many LGBT + organizations and institutions in the CIS, practically in every more or less large city there are places where "people in the subject" gather. These are safe spaces where you can not play a social role, but be yourself, surrounded by the same people.
Another way to get to know the community is through the internet. There are various dating apps, information resources and forums. For many, it is online communication that becomes the most optimal option, since it allows you to maintain anonymity.
Remember: love has no gender, and sexual orientation does not define a person as a person. Accept yourself and live every day in accordance with your attitude. This is the secret of happiness.