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Video: TOP 6 Practical Tips On How To Stop Being Shy About Girls
Yes, it's true, girls prefer confident, and sometimes even self-confident guys. If he is shy, then they do not help to overcome it, but turn away. He is left alone with his problem and the question: how to stop being ashamed of girls?
The content of the article
- 1 Where do ears grow from?
- 2 How to stop being shy about girls?
And this is good, because shyness is a multidimensional personality problem that only one can cope with.
Where do ears grow from?
Of course, out of my head. This is where constraint and other difficulties are located. So where did it come from? Strictly speaking, a very general term that includes many psychological aspects:
There are indeed many of them - fear will not be pleasant, to be rejected, to make a mistake, to do something wrong. And they all originate in childhood. Once upon a time, at the dawn of life, someone, most likely a mother, rejected, when he approached, excessively scolded for a mistake, actions that were unrecognized by the mother as traumatic. And here is the result - a beast lurking in the labyrinths of the brain, unwilling to allow the owner to live a full life.
Starts at the same place and time. An episode with a girl who ridiculed or humiliated may be added. Here, too, there is an almost instantaneous effect - "if they do this, it means that something is wrong with me, I am not worthy of a relationship with a good girl."
Self-esteem is associated with a man's desire to always be the best. And if he suddenly turned out to be not at the proper height - a loser.
In society, there is an opinion about the fragility of the weaker sex and about a tender attitude towards him, and on the Internet there are a lot of articles about how difficult it is to understand a girl. So one gets the impression that develops into a conviction that they are so inaccessible, they will not please and it is not clear what is needed. This also causes fear of the opposite sex.
In fact, there are many more reasons. But does it really matter where what comes from? It already exists, it is something disturbing and disturbing. What's more important is what to do next.
How to stop being shy about girls? 2
By and large, the answer is one - do not take a steam bath! But this advice is too general and has no practical background. What to do here and now? Work on yourself! The moment when you need to clearly understand that the outside world is a reflection of the inside. It makes no sense to change girls, educational institution, city, country. The only thing that will give results is internal changes. And here practical advice will help:
Psychologists propose to approach the problem rationally, that is, to analyze your feelings. For example, work with fear. Imagine a situation in which it is scary, and ask the question: “What will happen if the worst happens? What's next?". Sometimes such an analysis is enough, when fear is pulled into the light, and it turns out that it is shallow and frivolous. The habit of analysis will become the habit of not being afraid.
Develop communication skills
Scientists say that one should not run from fear, but go to meet it, this is the only way to be a winner. If it's scary to speak, then train yourself to be in public - to speak at seminars, debates, entertainment events, on stage. The skill that will develop will allow you to find the right words at any, most embarrassing moment. In addition, it is a habit to overcome yourself, your shyness.
Communication skills can be developed anywhere. For example, in a store, talking with salespeople, in a cafe - with waitresses. Wherever you are, communicate. And here no pretentious performances are required, but two or three sentences about the weather, the design of the room, and her uniform.
Friendship will help
If you have a good relationship with a girl you know, you need to maintain it. This will develop the habit of observing and understanding the damsels. When the hour of meeting with true love comes (at first it always seems so, doesn't it?), Then the guy will already know what is hidden in this young head. Knowledge helps to do the right thing.
There is a great system that will help a guy turn from an insecure mumble into an irresistible gentleman. System 20 - do everything 20 times:
- hello first. The guy walks down the street, smiling, says "hello" (how many times - understandable). Besides that, you don't have to do anything - neither stop, nor talk, just one word;
- then come up and ask any question - how to get through, what time is it and others are harmless;
- followed by compliments. They should be light - a wonderful color of the dress, sparkling eyes, hair develops beautifully. He smiled, said and walked on;
- the last one is the most difficult, but it’s right away, and if everything is in order, it’s already easy and fun. Ask a question: what do you think, will this dress color suit my sister if she is blonde; what is the most popular song among girls now; what masculine quality does not like (like).
These exercises build confidence, communication, observation and the conviction that girls are real people with their own fears and flaws. A great way to change yourself and your future.
If an acquaintance or approach has developed unsuccessfully, one must firmly remember that no catastrophe happened. It did not work with one, it will work with the other, and the third will be better than the previous ones.
During the approaches and greetings, make some movement that marks the success. He came up (no matter with what result, it is important that he came up) and clenched his fists, for example, or snapped his fingers. An anchor is set in the subconscious - I can. When he again shakes in front of the girl, he made a movement and felt familiar and confident.
Psychologists and coaches are in agreement that there is no impossible in this world, and even more so in the field of human relations. But you can overcome yourself only by going towards fears and embarrassment. There is only one recipe for fighting yourself - go and do it! Immerse yourself in a terrible situation until it ceases to be so, then not only the question of how to stop being ashamed of girls will disappear, but other equally important ones.