3 Serious Mistakes In Relationships Of People In Love

2023 Author: Miles Ford | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-24 12:19

Falling in love is akin to a mental disorder. It can turn our heads so that we do things that we would never have done in our sound mind and memory. And each such "feat" in the name of love seems to us noble, selfless and correct until its unforeseen consequences come. In this article, we will look for actions that at first glance seem to be a manifestation of care, loyalty and trust, but still they should never be done. Why? Let's figure it out.

The content of the article

• 1 Mutual exchange of passwords
• 2 Choose: either me or your friends!
• 3 We've known each other for two weeks, it's time to start living together and get to know our parents!

Mutual exchange of passwords i

Do you trust each other so much that there are no secrets between you at all? Have you even exchanged passwords for social networks? In that case, we have bad news for you. Such "absolute trust" almost always goes sideways, and often even becomes the main reason for the destruction of relations. How did it happen, after all, this is actually the highest degree of trust in the modern world?

First, personal space is vital for every person. And personal correspondence is an integral part of this space. As soon as someone outside appears in it, even if it is the person closest to you, you simply lose part of yourself. This may not seem significant to you at first, but over time, the situation always changes. For example, when your close friend entrusts you with a secret that he did not want to tell your significant other. Or when not the most pleasant details from your past come up in your dialogue. It is impossible to predict this moment, but it is hard to doubt that it will come sooner or later.

And here you can argue. Yes, we exchanged passwords because we trust, but we never read each other’s correspondence, because we trust … Stop. Do you see a contradiction here? Why then exchange passwords at all? Because you trust? But do you trust the exchange even without this, or not? When you think about trust, you’ll hardly find a reason for yourself to take your partner’s password if you truly trust him or her. And the statement that you still never read each other's correspondence gives us …

Secondly, having passwords for each other, sooner or later you will use them. Even just out of curiosity, which tends to only grow over time. Which of you will be the first is not so important, the result is the same. Your old correspondence with exes, neutral chatting with work colleagues or former classmates, a pleasant romantic acquaintance on the Internet that took place a year before your relationship began - all this can cause conflict. Especially considering that your other half doesn't know the context. Do you already feel like you have to make excuses for something that you don't even remember?

Such an "act of trust" in the overwhelming majority of cases leads either to open conflicts in a couple, or to hidden grievances, or to psychological problems associated with a lack of personal space. If you don't want to hurt each other, come up with another way to demonstrate trust in the relationship. For example, go in for pair dancing or acrobatics - that's really where the trust is in every difficult support!

Choose: either me or your friends! 2

If such an ultimatum sounded in your relationship, you should seriously think about it. Yes, there are times when your partner got into bad company, and you sincerely care about him and about your future. His friends can really get him drunk and drag him to the bottom, her friends can use drugs. But if you simply do not like your partner's company for subjective reasons, such as the lack of common hobbies with you, different values or some accidental mutual dislike, insisting on the termination of communication between your couple and his / her circle will be a huge mistake.

If you don't like his / her friends, just don't contact them. They don't have to like you either, and your hobbies don't have to be the same. But the need for socialization, for one's own company, is the same natural human desire as the need for personal space. And with such an ultimatum, you will first harm your loved one, and then your relationship. Understand yourself and find out why you do not like your significant other's friends. Maybe it's because you don't understand anything about their favorite Warcraft, anime or some kind of geek culture? You can always understand this topic and find something interesting for yourself, especially since geeks are quite friendly and willingly share their knowledge with those who show interest. Or maybe his friends are notorious tourists? Before criticizing them,Try going on a hike together at least once! And you certainly shouldn't judge what you don't understand. Having told your loved one that all his friends are ugly, do not forget that these people were in his life before you. And most likely there will be after.

The other side of this coin is unnecessary self-sacrifice. You can, of course, give up your friends "in the name of people," but your friends in particular made you the person you are. And if today you are told “give up your friends for my sake”, then tomorrow you will hear “you are not the person I loved”. The first is almost always followed by the second, do not hesitate, because without your company you will really become a different person, and it is unlikely that it will make you better.

We've known each other for two weeks, it's time to start living together and get to know our parents

Quiet, quiet, where are you in a hurry? You hardly know each other yet! Yes, the modern pace of life is accelerating. High speed of transport, instant communication around the globe, distances of thousands of kilometers cease to be felt as something significant. Still, personal relationships are not something to rush with! Remember how Mayakovsky's love boat crashed into everyday life? And you are not rushing in a boat, but in a speedboat! Moreover, along an unfamiliar fairway, where there may be reefs, sharks and even enemy submarines.

To get to know each other with all the advantages and disadvantages, to find a way to overcome the problems that will inevitably stand in your way, a couple of weeks is clearly not enough. The first days of life together, of course, will seem fabulous to you, because it will almost certainly be unrestrained sex with occasional breaks for sleep, food and toilet. But the world will change dramatically when the question of cleaning, laundry, cooking and someone's socks hanging from a chandelier comes up for the first time.

It does not hurt to wait and get to know your parents. This automatically takes your relationship to a completely different level, for which you are almost certainly not ready either. You are already old enough to solve your problems on your own, and you should go to her mother with a bouquet of flowers when you are already one hundred percent sure that your bright romance will not end in a couple of months. And even then it is advisable to spend this couple of months together in order to reinforce this confidence in practice.

Of course, there are plenty of other mistakes that can harm your barely nascent relationship. It is simply impossible to consider all of them in one article. Take your time, do not lose your head and show prudence - and then you will succeed!