Table of contents:
- The main characters of the book Taddeo i
- Conversation between a writer and a sexologist. Infidelity Theme 2
- Submissive (Domination) Addiction and Voyeurism 3
- Character features of the heroine4
- Treason as a red thread of work 5
- Effects of adultery on a woman 6
- Double social standards 7
Video: Lisa Taddeo On Her Book: An Interview With Sexologist Lehmiller
Not so long ago, American journalist Lisa Taddeo wrote a new fascinating book. Her plot is completely devoted to sex and sexual desires. In her work, Lisa describes the personal lives and relationships of three American women from three different parts of the country.
The content of the article
- 1 The main characters of the book of Taddeo
- 2 Conversation between a writer and a sexologist. The topic of infidelity
- 3 Tendency to submission (domination) and voyeurism
- 4 Character features of the heroine
- 5 Treason as a red thread of the work
- 6 Effects of adultery on a woman
- 7 Double social standards
The main characters of the book Taddeo i
One of these girls is Maggie, having a sexual relationship with her teacher; after all, a vicious connection has a detrimental effect on her psyche. The second heroine is Lina. She is married to a sexually unsatisfying husband. This pushes her into the arms of her childhood friend, whom she was fond of during her school years. And finally, the third heroine is Sloan. She leads an active sex life with her beloved husband. But at the same time, the girl from time to time has sex with other men (and sometimes women) while her faithful is watching the process.
Conversation between a writer and a sexologist. Infidelity Theme 2
J. Lehmiller, a professional sexologist from Kinsey University, decided to conduct an interview with the writer.
Lehmiller: “Good afternoon, Lisa! I found your book very interesting. And especially as a psychologist and sexologist, I wanted to know more about the features of the betrayals described in it. In particular, about the role in the relationship of a person watching his partner's betrayals - after all, this is what the husband of your heroine Sloane is doing, isn't it?"
Taddeo: “Good afternoon, Justin! Yes, that's right, that's what he does."
Lehmiller: “Let's talk about Sloane first. She teaches her hubby "horns" right in front of him. Moreover, he likes to watch the process. In my research, I often came across the fact that in porn and in reality, some people like to watch their partners cheating. Surprisingly, this is one of the most popular erotic video plots. In creating your book, did you rely on assumptions or on a real conviction that such fantasies are one of the most common?
Taddeo: “Yes, I definitely think this is true: people actually love to fantasize about cheating on their partners. I've even met such people in real life. For example, at one of my acquaintances, her husband constantly pestered her with such fantasies. He did not force her, of course, to have sex right in front of his eyes. However, he constantly asked my friend to tell him about her men. She, of course, had to be very careful about such stories. For example, so as not to accidentally utter a phrase about a very large lover's penis, so as not to belittle the husband's self-esteem. So even despite such fantasies, people have certain boundaries that cannot be crossed."
“In principle, I am very interested in the topic of treason. And in writing my book, I wanted to look at this situation from the perspective of Sloan's husband. However, I still did not "destroy" her marriage on the pages of the work. But still, I think I managed to exhaustively tell about the feelings of traitors and those who are being cheated on."
Submissive (Domination) Addiction and Voyeurism 3
Lehmiller: “As a scientist, it’s interesting for me that Sloan is playing a subordinate role in her relationship with her husband. However, in my research on cheating sex fantasies, I have often found an interesting fact. Voyeuristic people - who like to watch their partner have sex with someone else - usually have more submission fantasies as well. Conversely, those people who like to imagine their partner admiring them in the arms of another person are more likely to fantasize about domination.
“Therefore, in my opinion, the dynamics of power in your work is slightly different from the scenario, which most often takes place with reality. And it got me thinking: how would a woman be in Sloane's position?"
Taddeo: “Yes, on the one hand, my heroine fulfills the whims of her husband, who likes to push her into the arms of other lovers. However, in some cases - and you may have read this in the pages of my book - Sloane is portrayed in a completely different light. She feels wanted and wanted. In principle, she has a choice - unlike her husband."
Character features of the heroine4
Lehmiller: “Your opinions are very interesting. The way you approached the writing of the book allowed a closer look at the position of a woman in such a situation. You say about Sloan that after reading Fifty Shades of Gray, she began to look differently at her relationship with her husband. In fact, after getting acquainted with this work, she began to consider herself as a submissive. But at the same time, reading your book from a psychological point of view, I had the feeling that Sloane also developed a tendency to dominate."
Taddeo: “Yes. She regarded her betrayals as a sign of obedience to her husband. And in fact, she liked it all. The only thing that made Sloane unhappy was other people's reactions to her. In other words, being subordinate to her was to her liking - and paradoxically, it gave Sloane a sense of power. Until those around her started pointing it out to her as a disadvantage."
“So I wouldn't call my heroine a classic submissive. Equally important is the fact how skillfully Sloan met the desires of her husband - in this, too, partly manifested her tendency to dominate.
Treason as a red thread of work 5
Lehmiller: “As I read your book, I noticed that it focuses entirely on issues of infidelity. At the heart of each story is a plot where marriage vows are broken. For example, one of the men named Wes, with whom Sloane has sex, is married. Maggie's teacher, whom she meets, is also married. The third heroine, Lina, begins a relationship with her childhood friend Eden, who by that time also probably had a family relationship. All three women have sex with married men and do so in secret. How does the need to hide your personal life and this situation in general affect your heroines?"
Taddeo: “I am often asked why I focus on infidelity in my books. However, I am not doing this on purpose; and cheating is not the main aspect that I would like to highlight in my stories. Throughout my life, I see that many - both men and women - very often think about breaking marriage vows. However, they are so afraid of these thoughts that they are afraid of their possible implementation."
“It comes to the point that a person is frightened by the very thought of betrayal, and not by a real adultery. Maggie did not ruin someone else's marriage - it was the teacher's initiative. Lina is the same. As for Sloane, infidelity is an act that Wes did. Sloane herself was not going to leave her voyeur husband."
Effects of adultery on a woman 6
Taddeo (continuing his monologue): “However, regardless of who commits infidelity, I believe that it affects the psyche very strongly - especially the female state of mind. When Wes's wife finds out about the betrayal, all her aggression falls on Sloane. Sloane didn't really want to have sex with Wes, though. Her observer husband and Wes himself wanted proximity. But, as a woman, she turns into a target of other people's aggressive reactions."
“I can observe the influence of adultery on a woman in real life. For example, for a man, cheating is not such a significant event that can affect his social and professional life. The man just begins to think about how all this can be dealt with faster. As for women, for them a love triangle is like a hurricane that can sweep away a career, financial situation and remnants of health on its way. The emotional burden on women in case of infidelity is not comparable to that of men."
Double social standards 7
Lehmiller: “Your thoughts on this matter are very interesting. As part of writing my dissertation, I studied the phenomenon of adultery, but did not consider the gender nature of its effects. In particular, how the infidelity of men becomes a problem for women.”
“I believe that this dynamic reflects the double standards that exist in society regarding male and female sexuality. Women are actually judged more harshly than men. Can we say that female sexual impulses are always constrained by social norms?"
Taddeo: “I totally agree with you. In Sloane's case, I just had to describe something similar. One aspect of her relationship with her husband was that he wanted sex every day. On the other hand, she allowed it. However, if I had constructed the plot differently, then it is possible that it would not have caused such a response from readers."