Table of contents:
Video: When Is It Better To Confess Your Love: How Not To Ruin Everything?
Love has no age. But not all moments. In what situations is it inappropriate to talk about an imminent wedding or declarations of love?
The content of the article
- 1 Time check
- 2 Witnesses to the crime
- 3 Dangerous maneuver
- 4 Raise the degree
- 5 Now is the time
Time check i
Confess your love to your loved one and get a hot "me too!" - Well, isn't it a dream? Even the most brutal male representatives are thrilled by the presence of a beloved woman nearby. And romantic girls squeak from just the thought of how enviously their friends will listen to the details of a romantic meeting. But is haste appropriate in this matter?
Not taking into account the extreme lovers who, a week after they met, begin to live together, and a month later are already going on a honeymoon trip, most people are not ready to open their souls to an unfamiliar person.
Too quick transition from “I like you”, “I want you” to “I can't live without you!”, “Let's get married! My mom is already sending out invitations to our wedding! " can pretty much scare even the staunchest tin soldier.
Offers of a hand and heart, hints to your boyfriend about the desire to see a wedding ring on his ring finger, a declaration of love - these phrases automatically take the relationship to a new level. But if a strong bond has not yet been established between partners, based on the foundation of intimacy + trust + the desire to connect the future with this person, the relationship is threatened with conflict and subsequent rupture (and a couple of broken hearts to boot).
Usually a guy and a girl intuitively feel when “I love you” will be appropriate. Some couples even believe that words in this matter are superfluous, and it is better to express your feelings with actions.
Conversations about marriage (on both sides) should be started when both partners begin to unobtrusively ask each other about the "joint future". You can gently ask what your love is about a mutual acquaintance's decision to tie the knot. If the opponent tensed and became suspicious, it means that he is not yet ready to listen to Mendelssohn's waltz in his honor.
So. Water, fire, copper pipes (repair / joint vacation / joint castration of a cat) completed. You are absolutely strong in your desire to confess your love / propose / ask to unfasten you from the battery. You are sure that your relationship is sufficiently time-tested. You are determined to speak these words here and now.
What, seriously, is here? Making a marriage proposal in a subway car is, of course, not pop music like the Eiffel Tower, dinner in a restaurant, and so on. But will the girl appreciate such an extravagant gesture?
Okay, we're bent. It is unlikely that a man who respects himself (and has an instinct for self-preservation) will propose to his beloved in a dirty carriage, under the gaze of the local gopniks (slightly clouded).
No, more familiar locations are still in the lead - a party, a wedding of friends, a social event, etc.
Everything seems to be beautiful - applause, applause, squeals of girls, encouraging whistle of friends. But there is one caveat …
Public pressure. The girl, of course, loves you. But she would like to have a little more time to make such an important decision. Of course, if you have been together for the tenth year, and you went to the jewelry salon at gunpoint of your mistress, then she absolutely does not care where she hears the cherished words. In all other cases, the girl's response can be influenced by the burning eyes of those present, the tears of her mother's happiness and the unwillingness to put you in an idiotic position.
Therefore, any extravagant steps should be taken as carefully as possible. And only if conversations about marriage, living together, etc. actively flicker in your communication. And if your partner loves eccentric antics as much as you do.
Admitting feelings that don't exist is the worst thing you can do for a future relationship. It does not matter whether you are being pressured by "compassionate" friends or relatives, whether a sudden flash mob of declarations of love / marriage proposals has begun in the place of the world where you "were lucky to be" or - a very common and very gross mistake - banal pity.
You should never confess your love to a guy for whom you currently only have sympathy or slight interest. You do not need to ask a woman with whom you only occasionally shared a bed to become your wife.
And you don't need to confess your feelings out of pity. How, in your opinion, will it be more cruel - initially to dot all the “i's”, without giving false hopes, or first to reassure the person, and then to inform that “the demon has beguiled you”?
Your feelings belong only to you, do not delegate the right to dispose of them to anyone else.
We increase the degree4
How many stupid things have been said and done by drunk people? We understand that it is very difficult to control your words and actions when you are barely standing on your feet (or leaning on a faithful friend). When a person, roughly speaking, revels in a pig's squeal, the body turns on the energy-saving mode in order to save the body from unnecessary troubles.
I mean, you are disconnected. Until you wake up and begin to think more or less, you will not do new stupid things. Unless you ruin the carpet in your savior's apartment.
In all other cases, gather the remnants of your consciousness into a fist. If you really want to propose to your girlfriend, you will propose when sober. If a sudden inspiration overtook you right now, quickly slap yourself in the face and move away from your failed wife.
Declaration of love is an even more insidious moment. In order to admit your passion in hot feelings, you do not need any rings, or knees, or even a special setting like a panoramic view of Paris.
Often, an empty stomach and a couple of cocktails are enough (or a dozen shots - this already depends on your ability to cope with ethyl alcohol). What is the threat?
You will be reciprocated, and suddenly it turns out that your secret love object has been dreaming of you for the second year at night. Everyone is happy. Tequila has created a new pair.
Wonderful? Very! Is there a high probability of such an outcome of events? Not really.
Do not consider us hopeless cynics and pessimists, but most often alcoholic confessions are either forgotten (by both opponents, or remain in the memory only of the one who was less drunk), or destroy friendships, create tension among colleagues or in the company of friends. Often they also break hearts and make them regret what they have drunk and said. So-so perspective, agree?
Now is the time5
So when is it the perfect time for an important confession to an important person?
- When you are in a close, strong, extremely trusting relationship. When you are absolutely sure that you want to fall asleep and wake up with this particular person. And we are absolutely sure that your desire is mutual.
- When you are ready to be with this person, not only when he feels good and fun. But even when he has a difficult period and he radiates negativity, desperately demanding support and attention. When you are comfortable with this person both to talk and to be silent. (if it concerns marriage)
- When you are sober, you are on your feet and strong in your decision. When you do not create illusions and are ready to accept both reciprocal recognition and firm rejection. (if we are talking about a declaration of love)
If you still adhere to the principle “it is better to regret what you have done than what you did not do,” we can only admire your courage and wish you one thing: pronounce all important words soberly. And if the ex has confessed his love, but you do not know how and what to answer him, you should read our next article further on the link.