The Former Is Jealous And Does Not Lose Heart: How To Make Him Fall Behind?

Every person faced jealousy. And every person is jealous to one degree or another. Everyone knows perfectly well that jealousy is initially a pathological feeling, only someone copes with it and does not interfere with the life of their half, and someone cannot sleep, as if lice are eating him. However, jealousy within a couple is a natural and expected phenomenon, which cannot be said about a finished relationship when the ex is still jealous.

The content of the article

• 1 Jealousy - pathology or norm?
• 2 Reasons for jealousy
• 3 Reason 1: dots above "i"
• 4 Reason 2: he is the owner
• 5 Reason 3: manipulator and blackmailer
• 6 Reason 4: mental disorders
• 7 Reason 5: true love?
• 8 Reason 6: recognition of error
• 9 Vicious circle
• 10 What to do?

Is jealousy a pathology or a norm? I

Jealousy itself is completely neutral. She can both show the presence of feelings, and destroy them. It allows people to be aware of many things in their relationships. Jealous, a person realizes that a partner is needed, not indifferent, loved. But often people make mistakes in their judgments, and jealousy becomes a real scourge. Possessive moods, selfishness, mistrust are frequent companions of jealousy. They poison the existence of the couple and destroy the relationship.

Especially terrible is jealousy, which has no evidence base, that is, it arises out of the blue. At first, such jealousy does not cause negative emotions, but gradually the victim begins to be weighed down by such relationships, they annoy and. gradually, a quiet hatred of the jealous partner arises. Of course, such a relationship ceases to exist, unless the victim is tied to the tyrant by some kind of obligation. The most disgusting and not having the right to exist is the jealousy of the former.

Reasons for jealousy2

Exes are jealous for many reasons. They all have an explanation, but they hardly have a right to exist. After all, the very concept of "former" already implies the absence of property rights. So why do exes continue to be jealous?

Reason 1: dots above "i" _1__i

Many couples live in a "collapse - toe" mode. In this context, this phrase has nothing to do with cars. It should be understood that people sometimes diverge, sometimes converge. If a couple practices this type of relationship, then it is very difficult to perceive the separation 100%. Most likely, the ex will think that this is another runaway, and in a week or two everything will return to normal.

It takes a lot of effort to make it clear to the ex that the relationship is irrevocably over. Of course, having got used to endless running in a circle, the ex will continue to wait for his beloved, simultaneously carrying out her brain with his jealousy. And if the lady dared to make herself a new friend, then keep the former seven.

Conclusion: to avoid this, it is necessary to clearly and rigidly tell the person that the relationship is no longer there. And in no case give a reason to think differently. No calls, messengers, requests for help in anything. That's it, the person is no longer around, and you need to learn to live without him. One should not forget about the manipulation by the former with the same set: calls, messages, requests for help. Ideally, change the phone number altogether, or blacklist the ex-partner.

Reason 2: he is the owner_2

It is not worse when possessive habits manifest themselves not only in relation to personal things, but also to others. The owners do not hesitate to say that the person belongs to them, and with such an intonation, as if it were an inanimate object. In the case of the former, the situation takes on a monstrous scale in terms of the fact that they cannot come to terms with the loss of their favorite "toy".

When the ex is jealous, he constantly thinks that his beloved was much better with him, that he did this and that, that and that. The idea that she is now probably much better in a new relationship is sickening to the ex, arousing more and more attacks of jealousy.

Reason 3: manipulator and blackmailer_3

Relationship manipulation is essential. Absolutely everyone manipulates. But there is a difference between harmless manipulation and bullying techniques, when the victim of manipulation simply starts to go crazy. The toughest kandibobers that the former go to is the threat of suicide. This is the most common feature among abandoned bitches.

There is only one way out: do not bother with their tantrums and threats. It is unlikely that they will bring their threats to execution - the guts are thin. Rope and soap can be sent by mail as a "reply".

All the manipulator needs is to make sure once again that his fate is still worried about, worried about him and worried. Getting out of the manipulator's web of intrigue is very difficult, but possible. The main thing is just not to react to his attempts. Let him do whatever he wants: hang, heat, open. This is his business.

But the manipulator may have more trump cards: joint savings or something similar, which can keep the ex-partner on a short leash. It is more difficult here, because it is very easy to lose some benefits. This is already from the category of blackmail. The danger is that many of these threats can be triggered, and they often do.

For example, damage to a car, things, an apartment. Of course, the former realizes that this is a criminally punishable act, but he cannot do anything with himself, because he, due to constant jealousy, began to have mental disorders.

Reason 4: mental disorders_4

No, it's not about the pathological state of the former from the point of view of psychiatry. Of course, one could run into a real schizophrenic, and even get married and have children from him, but such cases are rare. We are talking about clouding of consciousness when the ex is jealous. Such jealousy, which leads to violation of law and order, is a frequent occurrence among people with a hysterical turn of mind.

Of course, it's not enough to continue to babysit the hysterical woman, but you can't do without talking here. Yes, you will have to make contact, because it is not pleasant to find a broken car in the morning. You just need to talk so that the former understands that illegal actions will lead him to the courtroom. Usually, such conversations have an impact and cool the fervor of the hysteroid.

Reason 5: true love? _5

As much as one would like to justify the saying “jealous means love”, we still have to remind that true love does not go with jealousy as a couple. True love is an altruistic feeling. A loving person will never show selfishness towards a partner, as he strives to make the life of a loved one bright and joyful. The very thought of causing a bad mood or causing moral pain is disgusting.

Of course, a loving person, who truly loves, will never reproach a partner for treason. He will simply go aside, preferring the happiness of his love, scoring on himself. No, a respectable person, of course, will simply end such a relationship, not allowing himself to be humiliated. And sometimes in such a situation, the former does not look his passion in the eyes.

Those who prefer to endure endless spree, forgiving each time the "walker", are not much different from the tyrant. He also keeps near him, turns into a sufferer, seeks to bind his partner with a false sense of guilt.

Reason 6: awareness of error_6

It also happens that a former partner, acting as the initiator of parting, and even having a new relationship, appears on the horizon after a very long time. This happens because there is a comparative analysis of past and present relationships. And if this comparison is not in favor of a new relationship, then the ex begins to realize his mistake and may attempt to return.

He is especially enraged by the fact that the ex-girlfriend has already found someone for herself, and now all the nishtyaks go to the “newcomer”. Of course, this is very difficult to endure, and jealousy begins to bloom violently.

Vicious circle3

The reasons for the jealousy of the ex are a real vicious circle. One reason follows or gives rise to another. As a result, analyzing each of them, it becomes clear that, in principle, these are not 5 different reasons, but a combination for one.

Breaking this vicious circle is very difficult, and sometimes it takes incredible efforts to get rid of the intrusive, invisible presence of the ex. But this must be done, since not only new relationships, but also the life and health of a new partner can be at risk. When a former is jealous, he often ceases to be an adequate person and one cannot count on the rationality of his actions.

What to do? 4

There is no single recipe for dealing with ex jealousy. Each situation is individual and has many options for the development of events. Still, general advice can come in handy.

Intimate talk

Perhaps the most effective and adequate solution to the issue. Yes, you will have to meet with a person and talk. And no matter how much you want or feel unpleasant to do this, this step is necessary. It is important to keep your emotions neutral during the conversation. There is no need to sprinkle reproaches, accusations, break into rudeness and insults. It is necessary to try to convince the person that his behavior is unacceptable from an ethical point of view only because the relationship is over and all obligations are canceled.

You may have to resort to cunning and put yourself in the most unfavorable light, so that a person looks at the object of jealousy from a different angle, maybe even begins to despise or hate. Of course, in this vein, there is a danger of another problem arising, but in any case, the jealous person will be distracted and stop pestering him with his jealousy. There is a danger of becoming the object of impartial rumors or slander. But this is in any case less painful than being constantly under persecution.

Changing of the living place

This is a rather radical measure, which is possible as the only correct way out of this situation. As for the means of communication, it is simpler here: just block and add to the black list. Then you don't have to be undermined at three in the morning to listen to another portion of nonsense. It is much more complicated with the address. If there is such an opportunity, it is easier to leave than to approach the entrance endlessly looking around.

Physical measures

Perhaps the most idiotic way, and the most wrong. But sometimes a good crack resolves the issue much faster and more efficiently than civilized methods. By the way, 90 percent of people faced with this problem note that it was this method that made it possible to scare off the former forever.

Legal assistance

If the ex crosses all boundaries and begins to break the law, then the court acts soberingly. Most often, the persecution ends immediately, as soon as the jealous person receives an invitation to attend the district service. But often it's too late to just talk, because the mirror of the car is torn off, the windows are broken in the car, and in the apartment, health is damaged, it's good that the garden house has not yet burned down. Yes, there are such cases.

Do not feel sorry for the pest. Let him answer in full, and even if he compensates for all the damage caused, it is not worth stopping the trial, since the former will return in 70% of cases. After all, he went unpunished.

By the way, you can write a statement to the police without waiting for fatal situations. There is an article in the Criminal Code that punishes prosecution. For the evidence base, you will have to collect records of telephone conversations, testimonies of witnesses, SMS messages and correspondence in instant messengers. This method should not be neglected, as it has a very sobering effect on a jealous person.

Pimping

A weird way to get rid of the annoying attention of your ex. But what's funny is that this life hack saved more than one victim. We'll have to try a little. So, somewhere in the bowels of the gadgets, anyway, there was a photograph of the ex. It needs to be posted on a dating site.

It is necessary to make a note that communication is possible not here, but on social networks, for example, or in instant messengers. Paint the ex in the most favorable light. The amazing thing is that it works. The former quickly enough leaves for a new relationship and forgets the object of his jealousy, ceasing to pursue her at every step. And this is an excellent result, which must be achieved.

Dealing with the jealousy of the ex is very difficult. Such a struggle is exhausting both physically and mentally. But, if you still had to face such a phenomenon, then you don’t need to give up, and even more so to follow the lead and restore relations. Nothing good will come of it.