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Video: Pregnancy Is Not A Sentence: How To Accept The Position Of A Girl With Dignity
Relationships are great. A great relationship leads to good sex, and he leads to pregnancy. And this is great news if the young are in love, healthy, ready to become parents, and plan for the future as a big family. There are often cases when the pregnancy is unexpected.
The content of the article
- 1 Don't panic
- 2 Responsibility and support
- 3 Organization
Even permanent contraception does not provide 100% protection. As a rule, partners are not always ready to accept an unexpected gift of fate. They are too young, barely starting dating, not getting back on their feet, or just not planning offspring anytime soon. In any case, the fact remains that the girl is pregnant. What to do?
And then the girl stunned the guy with pleasant (or not) news of pregnancy. The main thing is not to panic. Remember that a man is a mind. The first impulse for many young future dads is to run away, deny, demand an abortion. So the guy will only scare and upset the girl. And she is no less scared, maybe more. The first step is to talk. Calm down and start a dialogue. Together.
First of all, it is necessary to clarify the reliability of the position. Purchased tests and missed periods indicate a possible pregnancy. For clarification, you need to go to an appointment with a gynecologist, who will confirm or deny the presence of a fetus and report the date. Such a request from a guy should not offend or offend a girl. She herself should know about it. Pharmacy tests do not always give the correct result, and they certainly cannot pass for an accurate diagnostic method.
When pregnancy is confirmed, discussion awaits the young again. You need to discuss feelings, thoughts, sensations, willingness to become parents. If the very prospect of fatherhood and motherhood is not scary, then is there sufficient income and a roof over your head to adequately accept a child into a family.
Further actions should be discussed if the pregnancy continues - where to live, how to raise, whether to marry, or to take partial part in the upbringing and pay alimony. It is also worth discussing actions if a decision is made to terminate the pregnancy. How the relationship will develop further. If the relationship continues, will the partners not regret and blame each other for the child's absence in the future.
In any case, the man should be next to the girl, provide all kinds of support before the abortion, during and during the recovery period, pay all expenses. Abortion is a surgical procedure. This is not only physical, but also the strongest emotional stress for a woman. Even a confident decision to terminate a pregnancy does not exclude, albeit a small, temporary moral destabilization of the partner. She needs support and a strong shoulder nearby.
Do not be shy about expressing your thoughts and feelings. It is no shame that young people are not ready for the role of parents. You just shouldn't be silent about it, you shouldn't run away, and also accuse the girl of being irresponsible. It is worth discussing all possible scenarios.
Straightforward conversation will help the couple understand each other's feelings and preferences. The first emotions will subside a little, the brains will take the first place in the discussion. And then people will face a real picture of the current situation. It will turn out to take a sober look at the problem and understand whether it is a problem at all.
Responsibility and support2
A child is a great responsibility required from both parents. You need to start from the first days of pregnancy. After discussing and deciding on further actions, you need to announce this to the family. Together, holding hands, supporting each other, tell the parents of the girl and the boy about the situation. You can invite them to a restaurant or cafe.
Or visit separately. There is no need to be afraid to deliver both good and bad news. The main thing is not to get nervous, to explain all the pros and cons. Let parents understand why their children came to this or that conclusion. Parents will not only make the decision of their children, but also offer help.
Despite the support of family and friends, a man should also take an active part in a woman's life. Even in case of separation, a man should visit a pregnant girl, accompany her for routine examinations and ultrasound. In the late stages of pregnancy and in the first 2 years after the birth of the child, the man will have to bear all the material costs.
You need to prepare for this in advance, start saving money, redistribute the budget. Of course, a responsible girl will try to take care of herself, but a man should not throw material worries on her. There is a lot of waste. And with an unplanned pregnancy, it seems that there are ten times more of them. Why is that? It's simple.
When a couple is planning a replenishment, they start planning their budget well in advance of pregnancy. Assign a room for the nursery, make repairs They buy the necessary accessories - a stroller, a crib, diapers, nipples, pots, toys. The girl looks after and buys clothes for pregnant women. By studying literature and various forums, future parents learn to correctly distribute spending. For example, a coveted stroller can be purchased at a planned sale in a couple of months.
And all purchases are made gradually, over several months or years. Therefore, the long-awaited pregnancy that has come does not become so burdensome for a young couple. The couple is not prepared for an unexpected pregnancy either morally, physically or financially. All the necessary expenses are made almost at the same time, which significantly hits the wallet. Therefore, a man should try to cover the necessary expenses. Yes, a woman is entitled to preferential childcare benefits. But this is a negligible amount compared to the actual costs.
In addition, the woman needs additional help and care. Pregnancy is not a disease, it is a physiological process. However, most of the resources of the woman's body are spent on the development of the fetus. And when the fetus lacks water, energy, calcium, iron and other trace elements, it takes all the missing resources from the mother.
Therefore, a full healthy diet, sleep and rest are especially important for a pregnant woman. The doctor may also prescribe additional vitamin intake. During the period of gestation, a woman's immunity is almost halved. A pregnant girl is more susceptible to infectious diseases and exacerbations of chronic pathologies.
To everything else, constant hormonal shifts and, as a result, mood lability are added. Who, if not the future father, will provide her with the necessary care and attention? Yes, a man should have iron patience and be ready for anything.
Despite the unexpected news, organization will help young people to prepare as much as possible for the upcoming replenishment. The first need is to register with the antenatal clinic. The woman and the fetus need regular examination by doctors and tracking the development of the child by ultrasound. Parents need a healthy and strong baby.
It is also worth starting your search for a good obstetrician-gynecologist who will take delivery. There are fewer and fewer competent and attentive doctors, and appointments are made for several weeks or even months. Therefore, it is worth taking care of a comfortable birth in good hands in advance.
On the question of material costs - it is worth making a list of necessary supplies and cases. Distribute them according to their importance and execution order. Discuss housing, where the room will be located, in which the child will live for at least 5 years. Perhaps the room requires at least a little redevelopment and cosmetic repairs.
Buying a stroller, clothes, diapers is also not a trifle. So, moving along the list in the right direction, young people will ease their way to the birth of a child, prepare to meet a new family member as soon as possible. Also, do not deny yourself the pleasure of asking for advice and help from loved ones.
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