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Video: "Healing" Effect Of Cheating On Relationships: Discoveries Of Sexologists
Cheating is a destructive phenomenon that cannot always be explained even to those who decide to take this step. Sexologists argue that patient stories are so twisted that cheaters end up being victims rather than accused. This is unexpected, and yet so difficult. When couples are trying to get to the reason at a sexologist's appointment, the cheater usually exclaims: “How could you do this to me?”, The cheater often replies: “I didn’t do it because wanted to cheat or deceive you, but because I wanted it."
The content of the article
- 1 Fun statistics
- 2 A spoonful of honey in a barrel of ointment
- 3 Don't skimp on a second chance
In other words, these people were guided primarily by their desires, not taking into account how painful it would be to their partner. Let's turn to statistics. About 63% of women said that they were cheating because a new partner made them feel more alive, 39% in such a cunning way regained confidence in their sexuality, and 43% decided to regain their butterflies in their stomach in this way, for 41% it is extremely important to experience new sensations that their partner did not agree to provide.
If we talk about male cheaters, 89% of them are looking for sex, for 39% it is important to explore new desires, the same number of men are looking for a friend with whom they could sleep, 23% want to return the "butterflies in their belly" that have flown away. At the same time, 84% of cheaters of both sexes need to know that they are cheating for the same reason.
A spoonful of honey in a barrel of tar2
Some progressive sexologists argue that cheating can have a good effect on the relationship with a partner. Many patients said cheating helped save their marriage. How? With the help of a third-party partner, they were able to satisfy all natural needs and desires, which previously was not possible for a number of reasons. Thus, cheaters return to marriage refreshed and satisfied, which positively affects the relationship.
Perhaps such a pattern of behavior will be acceptable for Western Europe and the United States, but most people in the post-Soviet space are unlikely to be able to accept such a "curative" therapy for marriage, due to their conservative views on the institution of the family. But arguing with statistics is pointless. This helps many patients, but on condition that both partners in a couple deliberately sought sex on the side. But, as practice shows, betrayal usually happens because an opportunity has turned up, and not as a result of a long and hilarious search.
Perhaps the cheaters struggled with their conscience for a long time before going to bed with another person. Perhaps it was an isolated incident or a long-term relationship. Be that as it may, 95% of betrayals do not happen out of revenge, and not out of a desire to annoy. Often this happens due to superficial motives - a person just needs to throw out his sexual energy in a new way.
Don't skimp on a second chance3
If your partner has cheated, you don't need to pack their bags right away. Perhaps this betrayal will breathe life into your relationship. Find the strength to give the person another tiny chance. Of course, he will have to atone for his guilt. In some cases, the pain of the "victims" pays off with interest. After that, the relationship can improve significantly. If dissatisfaction with some aspect in life led to cheating, you can discuss this problem and solve it once and for all.
It is also important to understand that betrayal, even if it leads to the improvement of relations in marriage, causes a surge of mistrust, resentment and suspicion of all mortal sins. This is a normal reaction from a partner that must be reckoned with and respected.