Torment For Both: Tips On How To Avoid A Pitying Relationship

2023 Author: Miles Ford | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-24 12:19

When nothing is left of love, and the relationship is maintained only out of pity, this is a disgusting feeling. On the one hand, you understand that with this person you are no longer on your way. On the other hand, everything that connected you is very difficult to let go. Especially if love is gone only from your side.

The content of the article

• 1 Don't start a relationship out of pity
• 2 Understand what holds you together
• 3 But if I leave, misfortune can happen!
• 4 Or maybe it's still love?
• 5 After parting, do not take a step back

What about a girl who cries and kills herself, says that she loves and will love until the end of her life, and who just recently was so dear and dear? Or a guy who says that he doesn't need anyone else, and he is ready to jump off the roof right tomorrow, because without love this life is not sweet to him?

To be in this position is not the most pleasant situation, but nevertheless, from time to time people get into it. How can you overcome this feeling, which prevents you from moving on from an already exhausted relationship to a new life? In this article we will try to answer this difficult question.

Don't start a relationship out of pity

Yes, sometimes in order to avoid something, it is enough just not to do it. If you don't have any feelings for this guy, but he courted you for so long and persistently that you decided to do him a favor, then the best thing is not to do it.

The same goes for that pretty girl you don't care about, but she still looks at you with big, loving eyes full of tears. By starting such an unhealthy relationship, you doom yourself and the other person to torment that will still end in parting. Why then start?

Your pity will quickly be replaced by irritation, because this is the wrong person, and every day you will understand this more and more clearly. Completely harmless mistakes and shortcomings will cause you righteous rage, and at worst it will end, like in the movie "Bitter Moon". Have not looked? But in vain. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Figure out what holds you together2

What is your attachment made of? Maybe it's just a sexual attraction that could have been satisfied by a couple of stormy dates, but entailed completely unnecessary and unnatural relationships? It happens, and you can't build happiness on sex alone. Or maybe it is a matter of intellectual unity that you experienced due to a large number of common themes and hobbies, but living together showed that you are too different?

It's not too late to part friends. Or is it really the very pity that sneaked into your heart and now eats it away with internal contradictions? Run! Run now!

But if I leave, it could be bad

If you have already heard the phrase “I cannot live without you,” or even witnessed an ostentatious attempt at suicide, then the fear of a breakup, which can lead to tragic consequences, may be too strong. But in reality, there will be no consequences. All such threats are just a form of blackmail, which is used against weak people to make them feel not only pity, but also fear.

How to deal with this? Just don't be a weak person. If this relationship rests only on your worries about the life and health of a person you have not loved for a long time, think about what you are doing now? That's right, waste the time of your precious life on it and pay for pity with your health. But he will live without you, but you will not live without yourself. Draw conclusions.

Or is it still love?

Not. Love is such a strange thing that no one can clearly explain what it is and how it works, but you never doubt if you love. So if you ever thought about this question, then no, this is not love.

Moreover, the obsessive attachment of another person to you also cannot be called love. It can be a sense of ownership, a habit, a sexual desire, or even a painful addiction, anything, but definitely not love. Loving people know how to let go, and do not try to hold back at any cost, including blackmail and outright psychological pressure. Don't let them make you a victim, if you had love, its time is up.

Do not take a step back after parting5

It is better to cut off all contacts altogether and do not give your ex-partner the slightest reason to see you, write to you, or otherwise contact and remind you of yourself. If your relationship has entered the painful stage of maintaining out of pity, even for a short period, this feeling can again enter your mind and sit there as a real splinter.

And you hurt the second person with random or not quite meetings, which he will definitely look for. Don't let him find them, let him build his future, and not cling to the past, which you have become for him. If you still have his belongings, find a way to pass them on through a neutral intermediary, rather than meet in person and give a reason for another unnecessary conversation. This is the case when bridges need to be burned to the ground.

Sometimes it is these relationships that become the reason that people are afraid of falling in love again and begin to avoid the relationship. How to get out of this state, we describe in detail further on the link.