Posted By An Ex-boyfriend. How To Behave And What To Say

As sad as it sounds, all good things come to an end sooner or later. Unfortunately, it’s the same with relationships.

The content of the article

• 1 A few words about the places where the former
• 2 Body reaction to a foreign object, or how to react to an ex-boyfriend online?
• 3 How long did we not see each other, "on … (" why ") did we meet?
• 4 What shall we do, comrades-women? Or the right behaviors
• 5 If your ex-boyfriend wrote first …

Take, for example, a young couple … A guy and a girl dream of a wedding, of children, of how they will grow old and almost die in one day. But, suddenly out of nowhere, appeared … yes, yes, it was It … Misunderstanding) And the happy "happy end", planned in a couple of decades, overtakes the young in a couple of months …

And so, such lovers and devotees become strangers to each other. Someone leaves with scandal and tears, full of hatred and anger. Someone disperses, as they say, "amicably", remaining friends. Well, some still manage to "punch their brains" for a long time, sort things out, periodically, sometimes converging, then diverging, while loving and then hating everyone.

The end is the end. And if you are a woman who respects herself, then you will not step on the same rake twice. Yes Yes Yes! This is exactly what is written in clever books and this is the only way experienced friend-psychologists say … But life, whatever one may say, is a “hard thing”. There were, are, and always will be exceptions to the above … Agree, most likely, the female body is designed in such a way to immediately "dance on a rake" and then draw the necessary conclusions … But we, women, are what we are. And our life is just our life. As they say, everyone is the smith of his own happiness …

A few words about the places of "accumulation" of former i

Let's, as the common people say, “let's not pull the cat by the tail” and talk about where we most often meet the former. Or is it better to formulate the sentence like this: "Where do we most not expect to see the ex?"

In this case, choose one of the options below:

After a "good" evening rest, in the morning, in your bed?

At your favorite place of work, as a colleague sitting at the next table, or, don't Boy, as your boss?

Online Dating?

Agree, the first two options sound more than funny, and answer a slightly different question - where would we most not like to see the ex? Such options most likely become the plots of family series or the basis of some anecdotes, but, nevertheless, it is quite possible to become a hero of a soap opera or a funny story in real life. One has only to want …

Now let's take a closer look at the third option.

An ex-boyfriend on a dating site is, what is not, a real and unexpected surprise for any girl. Since the Internet comrade conquered our minds and hearts, such sites have become the first, and perhaps the most demanded companions in the search for a long-awaited and loving soul mate.

The woman who believes that in order to find her love, you do not need to do anything and just need to wait a little, you can simply wish good luck … And, by the way, remind you that such representatives of the weaker sex in the XXI century are mockingly said: “She was waiting for the prince on a white horse, and the postman came and brought her a pension ")

Body reaction to a foreign object, or how to react to an ex-boyfriend online?

So how, after all, is there a meeting with an ex-boyfriend on a dating site? Let's go in order. Sitting at the table at the computer, resting your chin on your palm, or lying on the couch and lazily clicking the phone, you look with a puzzled face through the questionnaires of all possible future candidates for the nomination "The best guy in the history of mankind", among which the following are most common:

• And that one is not like that …
• And this one is not so …
• But it seems like nothing …
• … and ta-da-da-dame …
• What's the ex doing here ???

Then - bang! The mobile phone flies against the wall, or you punch a hole in the computer with your fist, like Leela in The Fifth Element punches a wall. Well, or, at least, start roaring or, even worse, hysterical laughter, or … just leafing through other questionnaires …)

Agree, the feeling of "desired and unwanted" meeting is indescribable and familiar to almost everyone who has had an experience of unsuccessful relationships. I wonder why the body reacts in this way to the reappearance of an ex-boyfriend in the life, in particular, and his registration on a dating site? Let's figure it out.

To begin with, guided by the above, we will single out a few banal, but truly truthful answers to the "why" asked above:

• Because it's still insulting.
• Because you still love.
• Because I'm used to it.
• Because you hate.
• Because the crown presses.

The first four options have one thing in common - this is the presence of certain feelings for the ex-boyfriend. They can be both positive and negative. Agree, you can love and hate a person at the same time. Unfortunately, the human heart and brain are designed in such a way that in the event of a "love illness", only time will help to "cure" them after parting. Of course, it is a pity that the human body does not have a magic button, by pressing which you can, for example, stop loving a person or even forget about his existence.

The fifth option is considered special, and according to statistics, it is a reaction among those women who not only know their worth, but, roughly speaking, are slightly used to not exceeding it badly. Owners of high self-esteem and stormy temperament, as well as those women who, without explanation, broke off relations with former men, having seen the latter on a dating site (and do not let Boy, prettier, pumped up, driving an imported car of the latest model), of course, it becomes a little uncomfortable yourself.

In this case, probably only cold-blooded women with a sober mind and iron nerves, or those who have a halo over their heads, seeing a former boyfriend on a dating site, can pretend that nothing happened, and in certain cases, even sincerely rejoice for him …

How long did we see each other, "on … (" why ") did we meet? __ 8230

Well, in general, so you met. Whether you wanted it or not, it happened. And it doesn't matter how much time has passed since the breakup, a week, a month or three years. The former is the former. And if the feelings were really real, seeing a person with whom was connected by something more than an animal instinct, any woman again, as in the first, is seized by a "mad" interest caused by a meeting in the so-called "online mode".

Or maybe this is a sign? Or is it fate? Or just a coincidence? Why was it here that you had to meet again? Questions like this are asked by every woman who once had to find herself in such a situation. There was no unequivocal answer, no, and never will be. Fans of astrology and horoscopes, and just romance in their hearts, will say that this is a sign. Those who are addicted to magic will answer that this is fate. Well, pragmatists, cynics, practitioners and realists, perhaps, will answer without hesitation: “Well, it happens. What's so strange about that? " Yes, how many people - how many opinions …

Regarding the above, you can definitely notice only one thing: after seeing an ex-boyfriend on a dating site, a girl, more than ever, will be able to understand whether something has changed after breaking up with her chosen one, in particular, her attitude towards this person, and to everything that used to associate, and perhaps still associates with him.

What shall we do, comrades-women? Or the right behaviors3

Basically, having stumbled upon a page of an ex-boyfriend on a dating site, you can, as they say, pass by. But this option is for "weaklings". Many girls just become interested, even if feelings have cooled down a long time ago. Those girls who, after parting with their ex, as they say in the people, “scratch their souls”, will be much harder. Feelings often overshadow common sense, so let's think "soberly" and highlight three possible options for behavior when meeting with a former chosen one on a dating site:

First option. Showing global interest

In general, we start the so-called attack. We take and write first. At the beginning, we write a cold “hello”, then we ask standard questions like “how are you?”, “What's new?”, And then we start asking everything that interests. You can, of course, in addition to everything, try to arrange a showdown online, and also try to awaken feelings, but do you need it? And it is unlikely that such correspondence will bring any benefit.

During the "attack" you should be extremely careful. It is necessary to start remembering your past love only fully being sure that the former is still not indifferent to you. Plus, in addition, you can perfectly make it clear to your former companion that feelings for him have not cooled down, and, perhaps, even on the contrary, have intensified and strengthened. In the worst case, your behavior can cause a feeling of pity on the part of the latter … Therefore, at the beginning, think carefully whether to use this option or not.

Second option. We try to be tactful and reasonable

This behavior is more practical. With its help, you can find out for yourself everything that is necessary, in particular, and the current attitude towards you. It's worth a little wait for this. To begin with, it will be enough to "catch" the ex, when he will simply be online. Then “like” any photo or post on his page, or, as an option, you can send a message a non-binding smiley, or in the same way comment on the above post or photo from the page, and wait for a response.

Just don't do all of the above together. Pick one or the other. And wait. If no answer is received, for example, within a week, then the person does not want to communicate. Draw conclusions and wait until he writes first. You can not? Painfully interesting? Then choose the first option, "attack" with numerous SMS messages, but do not forget about the consequences.

Third option. We turn on a complete ignore

It’s simpler here. The action plan is as follows:

• We saw an ex-boyfriend's profile on a dating site.
• Viewed this profile (if desired).
• We switched to viewing the following candidate profiles.

And that's all. We do nothing else. We smile, as they say, and wave! Calmly, as if nothing had happened, we are looking further than that one and only!

If the ex-boyfriend wrote first … 4

Well, what to do if, after all, the beginning of correspondence on a dating site is an initiative of an ex-boyfriend?

Everything here is purely individual. It all depends on you. If a person was dear to you at the time when you were together, and, in general, did nothing so bad during the relationship, but for some good reason you still had to leave, then why not answer him. Good tone hasn't spoiled anyone yet. Perhaps this correspondence will end after answering the question "how are you" asked to each other.

By the way, it may well be that the ex just wants to understand whether you feel something else for him or not. And it doesn't matter what these feelings are: hatred, anger, love or disappointment. It's just that, as is often said in male society, he has a sports interest. You should not fantasize, include induction, deduction, etc., as well as build castles in the air, if you are not one hundred percent sure of the seriousness of his intentions or, in general, the sincerity of this person.

But in the event that you decide that you do not want to see this person in your life anymore, just do not answer. You shouldn't waste time and nerves on correspondence, in which you will write about how bad he is, how stupid or mean he acted, etc. The end is the end. Do not want to return the past - do not write anything at all. Moreover, if this person really needed you, he would get you, as they say “from the ground,”. There is an exception only if you have moved to another continent and changed your phone number. Although here one can argue …

Finally, it is worth noting that the appearance of an ex-boyfriend on a dating site is always a challenge to herself. The challenge of the one you were to the one that you are now. After analyzing the current situation, weighing all the pros and cons, determining the reaction of your body to everything that happens, you can understand how much you yourself have changed. First of all, in any situation, try to be calm and behave with dignity. Respect your feelings and the feelings of your ex. And luck will surely smile at you!