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Video: How To Get Rid Of Love Addiction And Find Peace
Oddly enough, today not everyone is familiar with the concept of "love addiction", and some people still, after many unsuccessful novels, consider another dramatic union to be a great and pure love. Psychologists say: in order to understand how to get rid of love addiction, you need to admit the very fact of its existence. Until a person admits that his relationship is abnormal and sick, one can not expect a successful ending.
The content of the article
- 1 Concept of addiction
- 2 How does addiction manifest itself?
- 3 How to overcome addiction?
Psychological addiction continually borders on low self-esteem and moral trauma. No, people with an adequate perception of themselves also part with partners and fail in love unions, however, they have it in a less dramatic format. Love addiction is an insane passion, an obsession with a partner, which is not controlled in any way and only increases over time.
A dependent partner is someone who needs constant attention, approval and love. Roughly speaking, one who does not feel like a whole person. The partner of a “addict in love” often also has mental disabilities, because he endures excessive obsession, manic jealousy and emotional abuse.
A morally healthy and adequate person, in principle, will not succumb to the bait of a notorious and insecure partner. Therefore, in codependent relationships, the problem is observed on both sides.
The main companion of a dependent person is anxiety, eternal, regular, incessant. You could say that the "love addict" is kind of paranoid. Day after day, he carries this burden of worries and suspicions, regularly experiencing internal conflicting feelings. On the one hand, the addict loves a partner, wants to be together and dreams of a joint future.
On the other hand, he hates him, because it was the object of love that brought suffering, disturbed the peace and made life anxious. In fact, the "addict" does not understand that it was not the object of love that made him unhappy, but himself. After all, if another person were in the place of a loved one, the situation would repeat itself exactly.
How does addiction manifest? 2
To understand how to get rid of love addiction, you should initially familiarize yourself with its distinguishing features. Naturally, in each case, the symptoms manifested are individual, but most often sick unions are reduced to a standard scheme:
- The constant desire to be together, ignoring the needs and affairs of the partner. The addict wants to regularly dissolve in a partner, requires more time to spend together and does not understand that a loved one has his own business.
- The "addict" is waiting for eternal approval, trying to please the object of love and play by its rules. His mood can be spoiled by any phrase spoken with the wrong intonation. Because of this, the "love addict" often becomes a puppet in the hands of the object of love, he is regularly subjected to humiliation and disrespectful attitude.
- The addict cannot trust the partner, so he regularly pursues him, gets jealous and arranges checks. In some cases, jealousy can go to extremes, up to listening to phone calls and installing video cameras.
- The “drug addict” does not see bad qualities in his partner, therefore he agrees to less. His perception of a loved one is generally different from reality. He too idealizes the object of love and does not even notice the shortcomings that are obvious to everyone.
- The addict is afraid of loneliness and does not want to leave under any pretext. Even if at some stage the “addict” realizes that the relationship has reached an impasse, he absolutely does not want to break it off because of the wrong interpretation of loneliness.
These are far from the only signs of addiction, but the most common ones.
How to overcome addiction? 3
In fact, it takes two things to eliminate addiction - awareness and your own desire. To understand how to get rid of love addiction, you need to recognize the fact that the problem does exist. Further actions depend on their own motivation. What do we have to do:
- Break contact with a partner. No matter how difficult it is, you have to do it. It is unrealistic to recover from a sick obsession by being near the object of obsession. During rehabilitation, you should completely limit communication. Psychological addiction is similar to drug addiction, which means that treatment should be appropriate.
- Develop your own personality. Being in sick unions, the "love addict" suppresses his own development. All his intellectual resources are spent on thinking about problems in relations with the object of his desire. Most often, the addict gives up all his hobbies, hobbies and undertakings in the name of love, which slows down his growth. The gap period is the most appropriate time to enrich your consciousness with new information. This does not mean that you need to read all smart books in a row, without really understanding them. Self-development is not only reading, but also doing new things, mastering new skills.
Change your social circle. Contacting a partner who is insecure and pulling to the bottom, the addict, without realizing it, adopts his features and lifestyle. If a person is surrounded by people insecure and dissatisfied with life, then he himself becomes over time. After all, where does he get motivation for personal growth? Therefore, psychologists recommend drastically changing the environment and trying to limit contacts with those people who pull to the bottom and involve in eternal dramas. It is necessary to surround yourself with strong, kind and successful people who will set an example for another life, where there is trust, care, stability. It will be a little strange at first glance, perhaps boring. But over time, the realization will come that eternal dramas do not lead to happiness, but are the result of personality degradation
- Engage in appearance. No matter how trite, but doing looks helps to increase self-esteem, feel better and more self-confident. It is not necessary to go under the surgeon's knife or decide on some desperate measures. It is enough just to correct what was missed during the time of being in the possessed state. And so it often happens that the “love addict” in pursuit of the approval of a partner loses its former appearance and ceases to follow himself.
- Stop being afraid of being alone. Psychologists recommend the addict to plunge into loneliness for a while and love it. And only then go in search of new love adventures. It is important for a vulnerable person to understand that there is nothing wrong with being alone; it is when they are alone with themselves that people get to know themselves, sum up some results, analyze various situations. Sometimes you need to be alone in order to become a different person who loved himself and life.
- Letting go of grudges. Most often, addicted people manage to take the path of correction, start a new life and change themselves. But in their souls they still have grievances that cause periodic outbursts of hatred due to unjustified love, anger and feelings of injustice. Psychologists recommend forgiving offenders and thanking them for the experience that helped them become stronger. It is sincere forgiveness that helps to find inner harmony and happiness.
If you cannot get rid of the problem on your own and there are no close people nearby who can support, it is better to work out the problem with an experienced specialist.