Table of contents:
- After meeting i
- After the first date2
- Write to the first familiar man3
- Why doesn't he write first?
- Guy doesn't write first
Video: Should A Girl Write First Or Is It Not Her Prerogative?
Should a girl write first, call, get acquainted, take a phone number and take other first steps towards a young man she likes - such questions are not at all a novelty, but a long-established dilemma, the answer to which is still being sought today.
The content of the article
- 1 After meeting
- 2 After the first date
- 3 Write to the first familiar man
- 4 Why He Doesn't Write First
- 5 Guy doesn't write first
On the one hand, it was strange and not decent to write first in the days of Pushkin's Tatyana, but still, despite the 21st century in the yard, girls today remain impregnable fortresses that await initiative from the guys. And today, when there are more and more women who like to break this rule, there are those who will condemn, regardless of the circumstances.
The relationship of each couple is individual, so the boundaries should be set based solely on personal experience and preferences. Some people like to sit and wait for signs of attention, and then, hanging all the pros and cons, think about whether to answer them or not, while others will gladly take the initiative themselves. You need to act according to the situation, the nature of the relationship and other circumstances. Consider situations in which you should or should not write to the first guy.
After meeting i
Men are by nature predators and conquerors. Before, after all, a woman went to the one who was stronger and better, it was necessary to fight for her. A successful acquaintance and its continuation is such a small victory for a man that he would hardly want to give to a lady. The guy who doesn't take the initiative first is not interested. And therefore you should not try to attract him on your own and take everything into your own hands. Then the man will lose interest, and nothing good will come of future possible relationships.
Of course, a man may not get in touch after meeting and because of shyness or lack of self-confidence. Or he simply decided to wait a couple of days, and only then he will make itself felt when he is sure that it makes sense. Feelings of insecurity are just as common for men as for girls.
Perhaps a man does not write because of the age difference, different social status and financial situation. He doesn't even assume that the girl liked him. In such a situation, the first step on the part of the girl is appropriate. But first you should always think about whether it is worth it. And having made the first step after meeting, you should watch how the guy will take the initiative further, if he is the same "sluggish", then you should not waste your time.
Why girls don't write first, we read further on the link in our article on the main reasons for women's "fear of correspondence".
After the first date2
At the end of the date, as a rule, it becomes roughly clear whether the person likes it or not. If the date, according to the girl, was unforgettable and she can't wait to get in touch with her boyfriend, then it's still better to wait for his reaction. After all, it is possible that only she experienced such impressions.
But, in case the girl did not like the pastime or the guy himself, but she was embarrassed to report it right away, then it is better to write about it first than wait for the first message. Thus, if he, too, was not delighted, the last word will still be hers. And also it will be possible to avoid the inconvenience if you have to report it after a declaration of love.
If you liked the guy, but he still doesn't get in touch first, then the girl should act at her discretion, write first or not, this is just her choice.
Write to the first familiar man3
Even despite long-term communication, some girls continue to believe that the guy should always write first. It is from him that the first "Good morning" and other greetings should come every day. Thus, they do not let men fully know how interesting he is. Such a tactic weeds out not too loving and persistent guys and leaves those who have sincere feelings.
Nevertheless, in our time it looks at least strange. And there are situations when you should give in to your principles. These include:
- If a guy is sick, then expecting his messages is not just stupid - it makes the girl indifferent to everything selfish in the eyes of the young man.
- When a man is far away and does not have the opportunity to regularly get in touch, the expectation of initiative on his part and silence can reduce communication to a minimum, and eventually destroy it.
- If a guy hasn't been in touch for a long time, a good friend will always find out if everything is in order and if nothing has happened.
This is the very minimum at which you can break the rules, but do not forget that in a healthy relationship, steps towards each other should come from two people in a pair, and not from one person. Therefore, if you want to build a strong and trusting relationship, then there are reasons for the question "should a girl write first?" does not exist. After all, the answer is obvious, and it is "Yes!"
Why doesn't he write first?
If the relationship in a couple has been going on for a long time and it is clear from the man that he is interested, but still does not write first, then this may be for several reasons:
- He is not one of those who like correspondence.
- Unforeseen circumstances caused a lull: illness, problems in the family, at work, etc.
- The guy was offended by something.
- He's lost interest, but he's not showing it yet.
You should remember in detail the last meeting and dialogues then it will turn out to find the reason. Perhaps he simply prefers calls and face-to-face meetings to correspondence on social networks. Then you just need to tell the guy that it would be nice to correspond from time to time. Indeed, for the sake of this, you do not need to be distracted from important matters, and communication will be more active and rich.
If the reason for the silence may have been the girl's incorrect behavior, some rude phrases sent to the young man, then you should call first, write or propose a meeting and apologize.
If the guy does not react to the outgoing initiative and attempts at reconciliation, then you should not insist too much, perhaps he simply does not need it anymore.
Guy doesn't write first
Some girls today are worried about the lack of proper initiative from their boyfriend. If he has ceased to be as active as before, then many people instill in themselves that he has cooled down, lost interest and wind themselves up endlessly with such thoughts instead of just calling or writing first.
After all, he can quite simply wait for a message or a call from his beloved. Why not, are they a couple? How to behave correctly and understand the real reasons why a man does not call will be taught in our article.
The situation looks pretty silly, although it is not new for a long time. But why, even today, thinking about whether to write or not, she is tormented by doubts, and there is no confidence in her own actions? Psychologists believe that the reason for human unrest is due to the fact that the partner's behavior is always adjusted to social stereotypes.
After all, there is a long-worn stereotype that the first step should come from the guy, and he should also give the girl gifts, remind her of how strong his love is, so that there is no reason for doubt. In this kind of stereotypes, people grow up from virginity, and they settled in society a long time ago.
In fact, it doesn't matter at all who does what first and who does what second, how he does it and whether he corresponds to the stereotypical ideal. As corny as it sounds - but you just need to be yourself and leave all unnecessary worries, because if a guy chose this particular girl, then she is already the best for him and it does not matter how she behaves.
Attempts to adapt to the constraints created by society by a person only complicates life for themselves and those around them. Asking yourself if a girl should be the first to write or call her boyfriend, you should leave behind the word “should”.
Instead, it is better to ask the question like this: “Do I want to talk to him? Do I want this now? Does he need it? The advice of a psychologist, in making a decision, you need to be based solely on your feelings. If so, then you should not torment yourself with doubts, you need to act.