Table of contents:
- What do psychologists advise:? i
- And what should a man do? 3
- Don't be humiliated! 6
- A few tips 7
Video: How To Make Peace With A Guy After A Strong Quarrel: Advice From Psychologists
Probably, rarely any love unions do without quarrels and disagreements. On the one hand, such a phenomenon is absolutely normal and natural. But on the other hand, it can lead to the end of the relationship and deeply hidden resentment of partners. How to make up after a quarrel and what to do for this?
The content of the article
- 1 What do psychologists advise:?
- 2 Psychology
- 3 What should a man do?
- 4 Control
- 5 Silence
- 6 Do not be humiliated!
- 7 A few tips
What do psychologists advise:? i
Quarrels are normal in any family, however, it is important to be able to find common ground and be able to make up. If the question is about the desire to preserve the union, then there is no place for pride. Of course, if we are not talking about betrayal on the part of someone.
Oddly enough, but even the happiest-looking family has disagreements, and perhaps even domestic abuse with breaking dishes. The only difference is that such a man and a woman remember in time their relationship, which they have been working on for a long time, and do not want to lose it because of household trifles. But today we are talking about reconciliation, so let's talk about the rules for successfully ending a quarrel.
Before you understand how to make peace after a quarrel, it is worth remembering that female and male psychology are different. Shouting and expressing emotions for a woman is normal and habitual, because her mood changes many times a day. For a man, such a phenomenon is something unusual and uncharacteristic for him. After all, his emotional state is much more stable than that of his companion.
Therefore, a woman quickly moves away from scandals and is ready to re-tune in to the wave of normal communication. Psychologists advise giving a man time to comprehend the conflict in his head. Do not immediately try to hang yourself around your neck, talk about your mistakes and ask to start all over again. A man needs to think about what happened, weigh all the words said. Therefore, the best solution would be to give him time to rest.
He can go to a friend, go for a walk with the dog, or just sit silently in front of his laptop. You should not go to him with suspicion and try to catch him in something. A man just wants to rest after a conflict, relax and relieve tension.
As a sign of reconciliation, you can invite him to dinner in a calm voice and talk during the meal. Psychologists advise not to arrange a festive show from the reconciliation process, for which dozens of gorgeous dishes are prepared. This is unacceptable and stupid. After all, a quarrel is a common everyday occurrence, and reconciliation should be the same.
If offensive words were said by the woman, it is worth apologizing during dinner and saying that it was said in a fit of anger.
And what should a man do? 3
If everything is clear and clear with the ladies, that they most of all think about how to behave after a quarrel in order to make peace, then men are not always the initiators. Therefore, they do not fully know all the subtleties of the female spiritual organization. If a companion needs to be left alone after a conflict, then a companion - for nothing!
For a man, being alone after a scandal is a common occurrence that allows him to relieve stress and tension. For a woman, on the contrary, this is stress and a period of active paranoia, when she can think of such a thing that the offense will lurk for several more weeks. If a man after a conflict situation can go to his workplace and completely immerse himself in work, then a woman cannot. She ponders the quarrel, examines it from all sides and points of view, comes up with some new phrases and options for the outcome of events. And leaving her alone in this state is dangerous and fraught with consequences. Therefore, if a man became the initiator of a quarrel, after it it is imperative to be close to his companion and maintain communication.
Self-control is an important thing in a relationship and can help avoid many conflict situations. You can even say that a woman who has learned all the basics of self-control is a wise woman. After all, ladies are more emotional and quick-tempered, so it is most likely to hear unpleasant things from their lips during a conflict.
This does not negate, of course, the fact that hysterical personalities are also present among men, but this is not about that now. A woman needs to learn how to cope with her outbursts of hatred and try to reduce ardor in the post-conflict period. Therefore, you should not approach your partner after a quarrel, if demons are still playing inside.
It is worth sitting down, playing quiet music, taking a comfortable position, closing your eyes and relaxing. You need to stay in this state for 20-30 minutes; during the meditation period, there should be no resentment or negative thoughts in your head. Only good. After maximum relaxation, you can go to a man and try to start a dialogue. The main thing is to hold on and not succumb to negative thoughts. Otherwise, the conflict may develop into a new quarrel with memories of past events, reproaches, rude statements. Who needs such a result? Right, nobody.
All people want support, especially during difficult times, for example, after an argument with a loved one. At such moments, you want warmth, support and pleasant words. Therefore, we often go to friends, comrades, parents and talk about what happened in detail. Psychologists say that this can turn against us, so you need to keep all the details of the quarrels in yourself.
Yes, of course, to see enemies in all people is wrong and stupid. But no one is talking about the enemy side. After all, even excessive concern of relatives can become a negative moment in relation to quarreling partners. And one more thing, we all know that how many people, so many opinions. Therefore, telling someone about the situation that happened, we automatically subscribe ourselves to criticism, because we may not agree with our point of view. For example, to call your partner and support his position, which will only reduce the likelihood of a calm reconciliation.
The same goes for parents. What do loving parents want? Of course, so that the children make up at any cost. Even if the conflicts remain unresolved, let all the insults lurk in the soul - if only there were no quarrels. Therefore, they will strive with all their hearts to utilize the quarrel. But the problem will not disappear because the spouses will defiantly make up and kiss each other.
Therefore, it is important to be silent, not to show with your appearance at work, visiting friends and parents that something is wrong in the family. If you need help, you should go to a specialist who will work out a specific situation and sort out the conflict.
Don't be humiliated! 6
Most often, it is the girls who are the first to think about how to make peace with a guy after a quarrel. They most of all lack the attention of a partner and care. It is worth noting the following moment here. It's okay to take the first steps. To humiliate - no.
How to make reconciliation normal? Give the man time to move away from the conflict, do not touch him for a couple of hours, or wait until he arrives from work. Do not overwhelm him with apologies, emoticons and kisses. Maximum, ask what time he will arrive for dinner. At this moment to prepare a dish, you can put a bottle of good wine on the table.
Everything to a minimum, no need to set the table like in the New Year. When he comes home, politely greet and hug, call to the table, make a speech, followed by an apology and a solution to the situation. Speak in a confident voice, smile, no tears or screams.
How should you not apologize to a guy? What does humiliation look like? Write him dozens of SMS a day with apologies and love pictures, set the festive table, lick the whole apartment before his arrival, buy what he has long wanted, throw himself around when he comes home from work.
And then cry for half the evening, prove something and provoke new quarrels. Such a situation will not cause joy and happiness in a man, but will only remind of the partner's total emotional dependence. Needless to say, addicted women quickly get bored?
A few tips 7
In order to prevent a quarrel in time or at least lower the threshold of its severity, it is worth adhering to some rules:
- Control your emotions. Do not mention in a fit of anger about serious things that can piss off your partner. In no case mention relatives, do not express personal dislike for his parents. All this can leave a significant mark on the relationship.
- No need to talk about impending revenge or treason. In case of a small conflict, you should not immediately threaten with betrayal or parting. Even if it's just words. A man can take them literally and do the same.
You should not run into the arms of your former lovers or mistresses to hurt your partner. In such cases, the unpleasant truth can be revealed soon and seriously harm the relationship, even if there was no intimate relationship
- You should not show your emotions too much, break dishes, spoil jointly acquired property. There is a chance to be seen as an inadequate and hysterical person in front of your beloved partner. In such cases, trust in the union will drop to zero, which can lead to the collapse of the relationship.
- There is no need to manipulate children in times of conflict. Do not threaten your partner that the children will turn against him. This can provoke a person and lead to serious proceedings. A child is the result of the common work of lovers, and each of them has the same rights to their own child. Therefore, you should not drag him into everyday quarrels and problems.
- Do not swear in front of children. It's no secret that children, for the most part, will inherit the character of one of the parents and adopt the model of relationships that was in the family. It is unlikely that any parent would want his children to be in such a conflictual relationship.
And if quarrels are frequent and interfere with the life of all family members, you need not hesitate and contact a qualified specialist. The main thing to remember is that a relationship is the work of two partners, and if one of them does not intend to create a strong and happy family, then you should not expect improvements. It is easier to leave this person and go towards a favorable life.
Popular by topic
Here he is, you met the man of your dreams. But the last step remains - you need to charm him. How to do this - read the article
How to understand what kind of guy is in front of you? That's right: ask him questions. And if you really like him? We offer 137 possible questions in order to better understand the guy
When it comes to feelings, it is not always possible to say that it is 100 percent love. How to understand that a guy is attractive to you? There are the main symptoms of falling in love, which we will reveal in this article
If the guys themselves are in no hurry to get to know you, then you can do it yourself with the help of our 100 super phrases for dating
"Wish You happiness and health!" - this phrase is already pretty boring. I want something sincere. We offer you 50 phrases in order to congratulate a guy on his birthday beautifully