Table of contents:
- 1. Remember that no one forbids you to meet1
- 2. Pick up a special ringtone 2
- 3. Carefully choose places for a date3
- 4. Work event as a date option4
- 5. Attend daytime movie sessions5
- 6. You shouldn't introduce your child to new passions6
- 7. Be yourself7
- 8. Be able to let go8
Video: 8 Tips For Divorced Dating Parents
My son and I recently returned to my hometown, where he went to first grade. I always liked to return to my native land and meet with my childhood friends, who had also become parents by that time; and even more so I was glad to move there completely.
The content of the article
- 1 1. Remember that no one forbids you to meet
- 2 2. Choose a special ringtone
- 3 3. Carefully choose places for a date
- 4 4. Work event as a date option
- 5 5. Attend daytime movie sessions
- 6 6. It is not necessary to acquaint the child with new passions
- 7 7. Be yourself
- 8 8. Be able to let go
But there is one caveat: I would like to devote more time to dating. It turned out that it was not so easy to establish a personal life after a divorce, and even with a child.
Most single parents are often unable to make dates in the summer. But the situation changes dramatically in the fall, when the child is at school all day. I have compiled a list of tips for my readers to help single parents start dating as fall season approaches. I believe that they are equally suitable for both mothers and fathers raising a child alone.
1. Remember that no one forbids you to meet1
Don't feel guilty about dating. It's okay to enjoy your free time without your sibling. It's not for nothing that they say that the best parent is a happy parent.
2. Pick up a special ringtone 2
Usually, when the phone rings during school hours, parents are always worried. Each call or SMS message is filled with anxiety: what could have happened this time? Is the kid stuck in the well? Has a fight started? Has the nanny decided to go on strike?
To prevent each call from causing a panic attack, it is worth setting up special ringtones for calls from school. And for other phones, you can set the vibration mode, which is easy to feel in your pocket. So when new acquaintances call, it will not distract the child and will not embarrass him.
3. Carefully choose places for a date3
Of course, it is easiest for a single parent to meet in some familiar place - for example, in the same cafe where you constantly dine with your child. But what if the next date becomes a source of sadness and frustration? Then this “sacred place” will invariably evoke unpleasant associations in all subsequent times. Therefore, try to keep your favorite cafe only for yourself and your baby.
4. Work event as a date option4
Most of us, at some point in our working life, have to attend all kinds of training, seminars or refresher courses. Sometimes, after such events, participants are invited to a bar or restaurant. This is a good opportunity to meet a new acquaintance for a short time.
During my last work event, I invited my potential boyfriend to a meeting. During the break, we had about 45 minutes, so while other colleagues were having fun, we chatted in the bar. No one except ourselves knew that this was a date, since there were many invited professionals around. We did not kiss, but we managed to talk.
But I have some useful advice: you shouldn't make these dates with a colleague or other conference participant. Office romances will rather lead to excess curiosity of the authorities, and not to an arranged personal life.
5. Attend daytime movie sessions5
One of the biggest dating problems single moms have to deal with is the inconvenience of late dates. If, for example, you want to go to an evening movie show, you will have to call the nanny and ask her to stay late (of course, for an additional fee).
In this case, daytime sessions in cinemas can help out. First, the child is at school at this time. And secondly, cinema is cheaper during the day; and a nanny is definitely not needed.
6. You shouldn't introduce your child to new passions6
Such communication is always stressful for the baby. The child will certainly feel abandoned, unhappy. Depending on your specific situation, the child may already have psychological trauma (for example, if your husband (wife) cheated or died).
Of course, the temptation to organize such an acquaintance is very great: after all, I want to see if your child and a new acquaintance will find a common language. But it's still risky.
So it’s best to wait until you’re sure you’re ready to have a serious relationship with this person. And even in this case, at first, after meeting, you should not overload the child with the presence of a new partner. He should feel that mom or dad continues to love him, and regardless of the circumstances, only he comes first for them.
7. Be yourself7
Many people believe that a person with a child must bend to the demands of potential childless partners - otherwise, you can stay alone. After all, people "with a trailer", especially women, supposedly turn out to be of no use to anyone.
First, if someone is outraged by the presence of a child in your life - well, that is their right. The baby appeared with you much earlier than this person; and the one who likes you will accept you with five fingers.
Therefore, under any circumstances, you should remain yourself. Eat on a date if you're hungry. If a passion asks to postpone the meeting, and this is inconvenient for you, you do not need to invent excuses. If you want to communicate with a wealthy person, and not meet for a chocolate bar, that's fine. The point is that you deserve a better life and the right to be yourself.
8. Be able to let go8
If you have just started dating after breaking up with your former second half, then there can be a lot of first dates. And most of them will be the last at the same time. My girlfriend has been married for 12 years. She met her husband-to-be in high school and they lived together for all these years. When he died during the war, she didn't even think about dating for years. Plus, dating apps didn't exist in those days.
She tried dating again last year. And I was surprised at how many guys prefer to correspond, rather than communicate on the phone. But this did not suit her, since she wanted healthy, lively communication. So she let go of most of the correspondence lovers with a light heart, giving preference to those who like a real conversation.
Therefore, if something does not suit you in a potential partner, you should not get hung up. It is normal to stop communicating when there is a mismatch of interests.
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