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For many young people, communication with girls is a real incomprehensible art. Men and women are so different that they have to separately learn how to communicate with each other. Do not be ashamed of this and consider this approach strange, because proper preparation will allow you to establish contact with both new acquaintances and old friends. There are some specific tips on how to interact with girls. They will not only help young men feel more confident when dealing with members of the opposite sex, but also improve communication skills in general. And it will be useful in any life situation.
The content of the article
- 1 Preparatory stage
- 2 Conversation behavior
- 3 Topics of conversation
- 4 What not to do
Preparatory phase i
Sometimes it happens that there is an opportunity to learn a little about a girl before meeting her. Maybe the guy will find her profile on the social network. Or he was once familiar with her and has an idea of her interests. If he wants to start or restore communication with such a person, he needs to prepare for this. The most unpleasant thing that can happen during a conversation is the absence of topics and awkward silence. Many young people are familiar with this situation when they simply do not know what to talk about. To avoid such failures, you should prepare several topics for conversation in advance.
Where to get such topics? It will be enough just to analyze the available information about this or that girl. Most of today's young ladies have social media accounts that reflect all their interests and tastes. This is the surest way to find common topics of conversation. You can use open audio recordings, find out what kind of music this girl likes, and discuss her favorite bands when meeting. Or she may be a member of communities dedicated to some cultural events. They can also be mentioned, especially if the guy himself visited them or is just familiar with the topic.
The most popular conversation topics you can think of in advance are movies and TV shows. Now it is difficult to find a person who, in his free time, is not keen on watching something. These can be popular films, some kind of TV series, cartoons, or even blogger channels on YouTube. You can get acquainted with all this information in advance, so the guy will only have to start a conversation with the girl on this topic when he feels that communication comes to a standstill. There is nothing better and more enjoyable than talking about favorite and interesting things, so girls will happily join in the discussion of such topics.
Of course, making plans and gathering information will be much easier than talking to a girl in practice. In particular, this applies to inexperienced young people who will be either too shy or deliberately active because they do not know how to behave better. For such people, there are some simple rules of conduct that will ensure the enjoyment of the conversation and the desire to meet and talk again. For some, they may seem obvious, but for others they can be a real discovery. But knowing how to communicate with girls and how to behave will be useful for everyone.
The very first thing a young man needs to know is that naturalness is important. He does not need to act macho or appear timid in the hope that this will cause the reaction he needs. Few of the young people are professional actors and can reliably transform into a hot male or a modest but sweet boy. The girl will easily notice that the man is overplaying, and this will be a bad sign for her. Do not do this. You just need to relax, talk and act as usual.
Also, be sure to smile when talking. Smiling is the easiest and most reliable way to win over a person and declare their good intentions. In addition, smiling naturally during a conversation is considered a sign of the other person's interest. Of course, you shouldn't overact even in this moment, because a fake, forced smile is very easily recognized. The young man should also monitor the condition of his mouth and teeth so that there is no unpleasant odor from his mouth while talking. To hide it, you can use the well-known chewing gum.
Eye contact is also important. You shouldn't gaze at a girl like a maniac. Also, don't avoid looking at her altogether. Here you need to find a middle ground - periodic short glances that will be light and casual for both interlocutors. You can look the girl in the eyes, smile a little wider, and continue to tell her about something if it is clear from her that she is interested. The opinion that one should always look into the eyes of the interlocutor is erroneous. This significantly puts pressure on a person, especially if the one who looks into his or her eyes has a very heavy and unbearable look. It is best to look at the bridge of the nose or eyelids, but avoid looking directly into the pupils.
Topics for conversation3
It is better to start communication with something neutral. Many Europeans and Americans most often communicate with friends and acquaintances about the weather and local news. You can communicate about the same with a girl, especially if the young man doesn't know her well enough. But if they live in the same city, then they can easily discuss some recent event or that the rain has not stopped for a whole week. On such innocent and seemingly boring topics, you can spend a whole many hours of conversation. For example, you can talk about the consequences for everyday life caused by incessant bad weather. Or about whether the event was pleasant or, on the contrary, angered by its constant mention.
You should also avoid discussing any serious or personal topics. You can talk about your pets, show pictures of them, talk about their antics or habits. In fact, the topic of pets can make a conversation very different. Most people love cute animals, and this can be played to attract her interest. It will be especially good if the guy himself has sympathy for such animals. You can talk not only about those pets that already exist, but also about those that you would like to have. For example, a parrot, a horse, or even a fox. This will be an unusual and interesting way to add variety to the conversation. Especially if you can explain what exactly these animals are attractive.
Another popular topic is the discussion of plans for the near future. For example, going to the cinema or walking outside the city. You can also share what happened last weekend, if it is interesting enough. Discussion of future events will be a great opportunity to see the girl again, because she can be invited to any event. Not all girls will agree to go somewhere alone with a guy at the beginning of a meeting. Therefore, it is better to prudently mention that she can take a friend or one of her relatives with her, because it will be really interesting.
If there is a lack of topics, then you need to include in the discussion what you managed to find out about the girl in advance. Just do not openly dump this information on her, because she may react negatively to the fact that the guy was following her and collecting her data. Better to weave it into the conversation as random thoughts. For example, if a girl has a Harry Potter series among her favorite films, then the guy might say something like: “You know, I recently decided to watch Harry Potter again, I really like it. And it turned out like the very first time. Do you like this universe? " The girl will definitely respond to such a topic that is close to her and the conversation will resume.
If even after that the conversation fades to naught, then a good option to continue the discussion would be to find some object from the environment. You can notice some kind of poster or announcement, ask the girl for her opinion on the specified event. Or notice some unusually dressed person among the passers-by and ask a new acquaintance what she thinks about this style. From such ordinary things, you can fish out a lot of topics for conversation, but you should not resort to this method too often. A guy who turns his head around and looks for something to talk about will look weird or even silly.
What not to do4
Communication with a girl requires special attention, because not all of them are gullible and want to let a stranger approach them, even if he is friendly. You have to come to terms with this, because these are the realities of society in this country. Young men should know what actions when communicating is better to refuse.
Most importantly, you shouldn't touch the girl if there is tension between her and the guy or they don't know each other well. Touching without permission is considered an invasion of personal space, almost all people have a negative attitude towards it. Often the girls themselves even say that they do not tolerate when other people touch them. Therefore, you should be more careful about even such simple gestures as friendly hugs and pats on the shoulder. At least in the early stages of communication. If a girl begins to trust the boy, then she will most likely touch him herself - clap on the shoulder, easily hug him when meeting and saying goodbye. In this case, it will be clear that she is no longer against such gestures.
Of course, you shouldn't interact with a girl as with your male friends. It is usually noticed that the guys behave more relaxed with their friends, admit cursing, indecent jokes and friendly jokes to each other in their speech. You can't do that with a girl. You need to communicate with her much softer, more politely, because even too loud speech can push her away from the guy. In Russia, many girls are used to being careful when communicating and avoiding noisy people, since they have been observed to control their emotions as badly as their speech.
There is no need to turn the dialogue into a monologue. It will be unpleasant if one of the interlocutors constantly says something, and the other does not find an opportunity to insert at least a couple of words. The guy traditionally takes the initiative in conversation, but he should not turn into a clown who will entertain the girl with his conversations. You need to stimulate her for feedback, she needs to show a reaction, she needs to ask questions to draw into the discussion. If the girl even after this does not join the conversation, then she is either too timid, or, more likely, not particularly interested in communication.
You should also avoid any negative communication. You should not be rude, share bad news, insult someone from other people. And, especially, you don't have to complain about your problems. Many young men, when they do not know what to talk about, begin to mention some unpleasant events from their lives. For example, a kitten died. Or the boss gets it. Or a blockage at school. Or the video card on the computer burned out. All of this, of course, can inspire sympathy in a girl, but it will also destroy the image of a positive and confident interlocutor. She herself may have a lot of problems, why should she let into her life a person who also has them and he constantly talks about them?
No need to impose on the girl. Guys are very rarely able to really know the measure of their attention. If they like a girl, then they are ready to go out of their way in order to spend as much time with her as possible. And at the same time, the opinion of the lady herself is simply not taken into account. Don't do that. She always needs to leave freedom for action, words and thoughts. If she leaves her contacts, there is no need to write to her every five minutes and be interested in her affairs. During a face-to-face conversation, you also do not need to put pressure on her and persuade her to make any decisions. If she wants something, then she can express this desire herself. And being forced to do something will only push her away from the young man.
These tips are pretty simple, but there are ways to help you strike up an acquaintance and restore your once-strong connection with your friend. Any guy or man, if he is polite, calm, adequate and kind, is able to attract the girl's attention and captivate her with conversation.