Table of contents:
- You are not ready for children, especially strangers
- It's hard for you, but you try
- Ready for anything for love3
In a restaurant (park, club, fitness center or library) you met a beautiful woman. And, here's luck, she reciprocated you. Everything is fine, life has acquired colors, and you feel in seventh heaven with happiness. But then, like a bolt from the blue, the news sounds - she has a child. By the way, many men can be overwhelmed by such news, especially those males who have not even tried to think about their heirs. And here several options for the development of subsequent events are possible, you:
The content of the article
- 1 You are not ready for children, especially strangers
- 2 It's hard for you, but you try
- 3 For love is ready for anything
- You break your head and rush away and completely forget about her
- You try to come to terms with the situation, but the child is annoying you
- You love her and are ready for anything in order to make friends with the child and create a strong family
You are not ready for children, especially strangers
You cannot condemn men who run headlong from women with children. The very fact that they will have to live with a child (and even not their own) can plunge many of them into a state of shock. And, if you can't imagine living in the same apartment with a child at all, then, of course, it is better not to get used to this woman yourself, and not to tie her to yourself in vain, giving vain hopes to both her and the baby.
Of course, you can try to "break" yourself and still risk tying yourself up to someone else's child. But, there is practically no chance of success with this development of events. To a greater extent, this is influenced by the fact that a small child very subtly feels false, this is on a subconscious level. Therefore, you will not be able to deceive him and without sincere love for him, you will not be able to earn his respect with any gifts.
The lonely mother is no less sensitive. Do not forget that she already has a negative experience of relations with a man and she will consider you practically "under a microscope." Moreover, now she looks at you not only as her potential partner, but also as a father to her baby (baby). Such is the double "face control". It will not be easy to complete it.
If you are not ready for children, you are annoyed by children's crying and whims, end the relationship immediately and do not ruin the life of either yourself or the young mother. There are many girls in the world who are not burdened with offspring, and one of them is certainly waiting for her prince, that is, you.
It's hard for you, but you try
It seems to you that you love children. Or maybe you really love them. In this case, you need to be patient and try to start a relationship with a young mother. Here, the development of events directly depends on the age of the child. If the child of your chosen one is still in infancy, it will be much easier.
Yes, you will have to learn how to change diapers and prepare baby formula, take the stroller for a walk and stay awake at night when your baby has a tummy ache or teeth start to cut. But, pay attention, being near you from the first months of his life, the child will perceive you as a father. Accordingly, he will not have to get used to you in spite of his memories of his own father. And this is already much easier for you.
If the child of your chosen one is already at a completely conscious age, it will be somewhat more difficult. Additional difficulties can be brought by the fact that he remembers his own father, and even more so if he continues to love him, despite the fact that dad does not live with his mother.
This situation is fraught with many factors that are not particularly pleasant for you. If necessary, a small child can boast of remarkable imagination and ingenuity. In order to "survive" you from his own and mother's territory, he is able to go to numerous executions in your direction. And, believe me, the glue in the shoes, the salt in your coffee cup and the ties cut to shreds are far from the limit of his imagination.
The most interesting thing is that your companion has practically no way to influence the situation. After all, the more she will take your side, the more resistance it will cause in the child. This is where you need to be patient.
Try to find common interests with the baby, common topics for conversation, support him, help him cope with problems and troubles (believe me, young children also have them) do not scold him for pranks and, it is quite possible that over time the baby will still begin to perceive you as a new inhabitant of him with the mother of the Universe, as his father. And do not forget about the main thing - Love, its fake imitation will not help here.
Ready for anything for love3
You sincerely love her and cannot imagine a single day in separation. Then be patient and remember that true Love can work miracles. Together, you can 100% cope with the situation and help the kid move from the warring camp to the allied camp.
Yes, you will not have a single difficult day and not one difficult conversation. However, as they say, water wears away the stone and, sooner or later, the child will believe in your love, accept it and thank you a hundredfold. Of course, it will be much easier for you if the baby does not remember his real father. But, even if his memories of dad are still alive, or he periodically meets with his father, try to talk to him like an adult.
Explain that you are not an enemy of his father, and even if you disappear from his mother's life, his father will not return to him anyway. Show him your love for him and his mom. The main thing is to do it all not in words, but to prove it with deeds and actions. Remember, fake and small child are not compatible.
The opinion that a small child does not understand anything is wrong. Children are quite ready for adult conversations and are able to understand and feel all adult thoughts. Do not underestimate children, communicate with them on an equal footing and they will definitely appreciate your respect, love you and accept you as a dad.