How To Overcome The Fear Of Dating A Girl: TOP 9 Tips

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How To Overcome The Fear Of Dating A Girl: TOP 9 Tips
How To Overcome The Fear Of Dating A Girl: TOP 9 Tips
Video: How To Overcome The Fear Of Dating A Girl: TOP 9 Tips
Video: 6 Behaviors That Scare Men Off | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs 2023, February
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overcome the fear of dating a girl
overcome the fear of dating a girl

Humanity has raised many fears. All of them did not appear from scratch. Without fear, people would have died out long ago. But there are fears that do not carry a special semantic load, although at the same time they greatly interfere with life. This is the fear of dating. As a rule, he pursues men, and is expressed in the fear of the first step to the girl he likes.

The content of the article

  • 1 What fear looks like
  • 2 Where do legs grow from or the root of the problem
  • 3 Pickup is your enemy
  • 4 How to get rid of fear
  • 5 How to continue acquaintance
  • 6 If you decide to refuse

What fear looks like

You know? You're not alone. The fear of dating haunts every man. It was only in childhood that you could walk up to the girl, pull the pigtail, sprinkle it with sand and that's it - you are friends. Things are different now. Remember, you see the cutest object, but you don't even think to "steer". And all because you know exactly what you will look like: a stuttering entity with wet palms. It all looks like that, by the way. You just have to drag after her like a zombie, inhale the scent of her perfume and be angry that you screwed up again.

Let's look at the signs of fear:

  • Profuse sweating
  • Limb tremors
  • Respiratory paralysis (incomplete, of course)
  • Confusion of consciousness (partial, you just freeze and the language does not obey).

Are there all these signs? Congratulations, you have “approach fear”. Once again, other guys suffer the same bullshit. So you are not alone. There are, of course, macho who will not miss a single skirt, but believe me, they are brutal only with those whom they do not particularly sympathize with. Well, this is at the level of "yabvdul". As soon as they see a magnificent specimen, they sweat as well as you and silently look away.

Where do legs grow from or the root of the problem2

What can I say there, but homebuilding has long sunk into oblivion. Matriarchy, which they laughed at and did not accept, considering it hopeless, has been walking confidently across the planet for a long time. The men themselves missed the moment when they let women into their garden. First they allowed them to become equal, and then they pulled themselves away. Tell me, don't you? Ok, let's figure it out.

Women are now allowed a lot: to steer a car and a country. Wants: boxing, wants: pulls barbells, wants: plays politics. And after all, the woman achieves certain successes. But most importantly, they educate us. Come on, remember how many of your friends grew up in complete families? Now remember how often fathers came to them … The statistics are depressing. Globally, women raise boys in splendid isolation. It became normal: to "bang" the heir and "dump into the sunset" under the guise of "I'm not ready." It’s easier for guys to pay alimony if she’s pushy than to change diapers. As a result, the boy grows up in a female society: at home his mother, in the kindergarten teacher, in the school "Maryivanna".

Initially, the guys are very aggressive and conflicted. But this is the nature: the establishment of a hierarchy of position in society. Men are susceptible to this due to nature: stronger, higher, faster. Do you remember who in nature is worthy of a female? Only the smartest male.

How to overcome your fear of dating
How to overcome your fear of dating

For people, things have been different for a long time. Mothers tremble over their sons, as if over a crystal vase. Oh, fell, oh, fought. As a result, the guy is brainwashed to creaky cleanliness, and he grows up to be a complete "nerd". Yes, an intellectual, brought up in the best traditions, but he is never a man. He's a goodie, over whom everyone is touched. But it does not occur to a woman that the masculinity parameter of such a guy is zero. In the best case, a closed "computer genius" will grow out of him, which girls only see on the Internet, in the worst case - "Conchita Wurst".

What's the bottom line? What matriarchal education leads to:

  • Fear of the woman in general. From her men receive punishment and encouragement. Mother, sister, grandmother, teacher. They are all projections. Guys are attached to them associatively. Accordingly, any woman will cause mental dissonance.
  • Fear of dating. It is a continuation of the first point. You are afraid of the first approach only because you instinctively prepare yourself for discontent, dislike. After all, your actions can be full of mistakes, and for them you have received scolding from childhood. As a result, the brain warps, panic builds up, the situation becomes stressful. In addition, girls are brought up in the way that every second is a maniac. Therefore, you can get a bag over the head once or twice.
  • Fear of relationships. Well, then, as according to the script. You have not yet approached, but you have already played in your head your whole future life, full of disappointments and alimony.
Fear of dating a girl
Fear of dating a girl

After all these conclusions, you are unlikely to roll up to the beauty, and even if you decide to experiment, you will stand like a block, blow bubbles and mumble templates about a phone number and eyes the color of the sky.

How it looks from the outside: there are two quite decent representatives of the human race. One faints from fear of acquaintance, the second in panic from the presence of a maniac. You mutter something about “let me have your name”, she already sees the headlines “found in the forest belt”, you try to joke, she squeezes the bag tighter. Take care of your belongings, boy, the blow is coming. This is the worst case. But more often than not, the lady makes a contemptuous face, lets go of a sharp phrase and proudly dumps on the minibus, sitting in which she will tell her friend about the next idiot. If you came up with confidence, you would most likely become the owner of a phone number.

Pickup is your enemy3

If you are really afraid of dating, then you have probably tried a bunch of ways to overcome your fear. If you have already signed up for pickup courses, you can safely not go there. If you have already passed the "macho course", but it doesn't work out, then there is a simple explanation for this.

Look, the root of the lack of success problem lies in the fact that the pickup is taught by coaches who don't know a thing themselves. They sell you templates that will never work. It's just that the pickup itself is not worked out, it is raw. Yes, you will get a novelty, but this version will simply replace the old one. It looks like you know what … when computers first appeared, the craftsmen of reinstalling "Windows" got out, this is when it was still 98. They came, proudly launched the disc, downloaded the "pirate", the picture on the desktop changed, and the client was sure that now his computer would "fly".

Get rid of the fear of dating
Get rid of the fear of dating

In fact, it was just an application, something like a launcher. Only the desktop changed. The program itself was not deleted. The pickup works the same way. You receive a new program, but the firmware itself does not change. It's all about the psyche. She works holistically and remembers the entire situation as a whole, not selectively. As a result, you can apply a bunch of new phrases, but every time you will get rejected. As a result, the situation will only get worse. You subconsciously consolidate the disastrous result, and simply throw the money away.

The pickup works according to the principle "I'm afraid → Overcome fear → Meet". But the pickup itself does not remove the fear. You keep climbing the mountain, pushing a block of fear in front of you. Tell me, what's the point in that?

How to get rid of fear4

Now let's talk about getting rid of this notorious fear.

  • Remember, women don't bite! Moreover, if your tackle is competent, they will also smile. And if you do not learn a really masculine act at all, then you can buy a tie for a first date.
  • Choose by yourself. If you are a simple plumber, then the story about "Cinderella" has nothing to do with you: stripes to stripes, specks to specks. So the lady on the Lexus is not for you. Another thing is, if you yourself are driving such a car, then you can safely play with your muscles.
  • Learn the rules of etiquette. You can just learn a few ornate greetings. Remember a few points of behavior in the presence of a lady. Study farewell phrases in case of refusal. And do not try to do a poker face if you are refused, you will grumble and mumble later, and at this moment you must politely bow.
How to get rid of the fear of dating for a man
How to get rid of the fear of dating for a man
  • Appearance. If you think that an eight-wedge cap and a glass of seeds give you brutality, then you are cruelly mistaken. Once you are going to "hunt", then prepare your best "plumage". Neatness, good smell - these are your helpers. Only without too much polish, otherwise you will look like a Faberge egg, and the girl will decide that you are a pompous whip.
  • A place to meet. Choose your territory carefully. In general, the place does not really matter, but the atmosphere itself can make its own adjustments. At least in the sense that it itself will prompt your actions. For example, a gym. There you can kindly insure or set up the simulator, show up for training at the same time as it, and drive to fetch water if the need arises. In transport, you can give way to an elementary place. It's easy to get to know each other in the club, bought a cocktail, and you are in "kings". He put out his hand, held the door and other gentlemanly things. Place allows you to overcome fear, because it suggests a pattern of behavior.
  • Sedatives. Yes, exactly sedatives. Just don’t eat tranquilizers in packs, otherwise the lady will decide that you’re a quenched ditch. Infusion of chamomile, valerian, motherwort or thyme, glycine, in severe cases, when you are on the verge of fainting, afobazole to help. Not alcohol! This is the worst solution.
  • Literature. Only not pulp fiction from Vasya Pupkin, but well-known authors on psychology. How to tell? Only in the library can you find worthy works. Everything else is in the firebox, because it's just waste paper.
Fear of dating a girl
Fear of dating a girl
  • Visit to a psychologist. Great topic, by the way. But first, read the reviews about the specialist. Otherwise, you can get an appointment with an idiot who himself does not know a thing and does not know how, except how to cheat honest citizens.
  • Old movies. You know, times don't change. Girls have always loved classics. So old, kind, Soviet and not only pictures can give you a good hint.

How to continue acquaintance5

When the first stage is passed, a wave of panic rolls in before the second approach. It's okay, because getting to know each other is actually much easier. The first date is much worse! Of course, this is a topic for another conversation, because there are no less pitfalls, but for the future you should know that:

  • The first date should take place no earlier than in a couple of days. All this time, messengers will help you. They will allow you to keep in touch and clarify your tastes and wishes a little.
  • You can't drag a girl to a super-duper restaurant, otherwise, having raised the bar, you may not pull in the future. Ice cream and coffee are enough for a first date. And remember, we are not in Europe, you pay for everything! Even if she is a tenth generation feminist and prefers to pay herself, you must insist on your own payment. At least on the grounds that you are a man.
  • Don't forget the flowers. But don't buy a huge broom. You won't surprise anyone with this, but it's hard to drag him along. A modest but elegant flower, one is enough for a first date,
The guy has a fear of dating
The guy has a fear of dating
  • Be sure to walk home. Firstly, this is security, and secondly, you can find out where Madame lives, and thirdly, this is a mandatory attribute of a date,
  • Think carefully about the topic of the conversation. No need to rub in "I'll give you a star", girls are already born with the sound of a frying pan being cleaned. And there is no need to load memories of your adventures: she doesn't care when, where and with whom she was hanging around. Better to talk about neutral topics. And do not arrange a questionnaire, you are not at an interview. Monitor your speech carefully. It should not kill with ornateness, bombast, monotony and argot, that is, jargon. Simple and tasteful. And yes, keep the humor. You are not at a Zadornov concert.
  • If a girl is working on the date, then you have to meet her. But, by agreement: suddenly she is a crane operator at the plant. She needs time to put herself in order.

If you decide to refuse6

It happens. It seems like I liked it, agreed to continue our acquaintance, but everything went wrong, and your fantasies fell apart. Nothing wrong. You don't owe her anything. How to get rid of? Show all your aristocracy. You can dump it in English, silently and imperceptibly, some for this purpose start a SIM card, which they just throw away. But this behavior is a terrible bad manners. But it is better to put it bluntly with the maximum level of tact and diplomacy. You can say this: "Sorry, I am very glad to meet you, but, unfortunately, you are not a girl of my format: too smart and beautiful, I am simply not worthy of you!" yes, she will freak out or shrug. But in any case, the refusal sounded quite digestible.

Overcome your fear of dating
Overcome your fear of dating

The science of dating doesn't exist. There is no single piece of advice. Each one is brewed in its own juice on its own. Just understand that everyone is afraid of the first approach. You are not alone. But it is within your power to be able to overcome your fear. You will do this when you realize that girls don't bite.

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