Table of contents:
- Who is Thomas Shelby? I
- Frankenstein in flight2
- How to find a guy and why do many people do it badly?
- Stop grading over and over again4
- Flexibility always comes in price5
- Sad Truth of the Day: Ideals Overrated6
- Be careful in your desires7
Video: How To Find The Perfect Guy: The Ideal Man For A Woman
How to find a guy and be happy at last? How and with whom to fall in love? For many, this text can open their eyes and really come in handy. So it's time to get started!
The content of the article
- 1 Who is Thomas Shelby?
- 2 Frankenstein in flight
- 3 How to find a guy and why do many people do it badly?
- 4 Stop evaluating again and again
- 5 Flexibility is always valuable
- 6 Sad Truth of the Day: Ideals Overrated
- 7 Be careful what you want
- 8 Explanation
Who is Thomas Shelby? I
Thomas Shelby is a gangster. Damn charismatic and attractive, determined, ruthless and at the same time capable of great, true love. Of course, at the same time, he is incredibly courageous and handsome and - when necessary - he stands up to protect loved ones so that he is ready to go straight into the fire.
But not a single criminal will be involved here. On the contrary, just one mention of him has a very specific purpose: it will help to show how people choose their partners. And why this principle is very, very insidious.
So, when choosing partners for himself, often a person keeps somewhere his expectations, needs, ideals. A certain set of characteristics - physical and mental - that tell whether a person is similar to someone who is suitable as a potential partner.
Unfortunately, it is rare when, upon first meeting, people with the discernment worthy of Sherlock Holmes determine whether a man is actually sensitive and gentle enough to be the perfect lover. It is not immediately determined whether he is resourceful and sensitive enough to be an ideal husband and father and whether he is patient enough to play regular chess games over and over again on cold winter evenings, while warming his feet in the warmth of a home fireplace.
Frankenstein in flight2
Most often, women evaluate men - and how could it be otherwise - simply by their appearance. When a girl already knows how to find a boyfriend and finally decided to start doing it, it’s time to get acquainted and the first check. And this, as a rule, is a superficial and quick process. And often the candidate ends up with a refusal.
Well, this guy from the bar, it turns out, is not as tall as the former, he does not have as much beauty as in Tom Hardy, or even such qualities as Robert Downey Jr. in the last parts of Iron Man. And there is not even such a car as Hank Moody in Californication, not even the look of the first love.
And what to do about it if you do not fall into black despair? Well nothing. Because a person cannot be blinded from a mass of various particles. There was already someone who tried. His name was Dr. Frankenstein, and fortunately, he did not do anything terrifying, except for the story in the pages of the novel. Therefore, the idea of looking for someone who combines all the desired characteristics is doomed to failure in advance. As well as the belief in "two boots of a pair", in two halves of an orange, in love falling on people like a thunderbolt, preferably at first sight.
How to find a guy and why do many people do it badly?
Feelings always arise from a specific moment. Most often from a joke, story, glance, gesture. Men, with whom women suddenly wanted something, always did just some things intriguingly, in a different way. And it attracted them, it attracts people's attention.
And there is no need to look for anything specific in them. If they seem interesting, you need to let the rest of the things happen by themselves. And therefore, you should not fall into extreme amazement and run here if you find yourself on a date with an anemic blonde instead of meeting some dark Enrique.
In a word: not a template, but intuition. Sometimes a moment is enough until something flies between people of the opposite sex. It's about magnetism, about the mutual attraction of people. And not evaluating them on the basis of lists and tables previously compiled in the head. Is it strong enough? High enough? Handsome enough? You can be with a man, because you liked his broad shoulders and perfectly pumped back. Falling in love in a split second, because he has surprisingly sad eyes. Or hands - palms, this is generally one of the most underestimated parts of the male body. It is good if they are large and strong, but enough to grab hold of the hand at the right moment, so that they instantly become beautiful as well.
Stop grading over and over again4
Therefore, one more golden advice: do not give up on people too quickly, do not judge them too harshly. Just because someone at first glance doesn't seem like Sheldon Cooper, or funny like a stand-up star, doesn't mean that he is not able to steal a heart on a date. Life is not "Guess the melody", where you have to guess everything after the first note. Sometimes it is enough not to oppose the sound of the second. Third, fourth. After all, you can always refuse, not only at the very start.
Another piece of advice is inextricably linked with this rule: do not judge yourself too harshly. There are so many stories of women who have read hundreds of articles and tips on how to find a guy, and in life they have not chosen any of them. They never approached anyone, did not dare. For months they sat at work at the table thinking about the realization of their innermost dreams and did nothing about it, because they were not brave.
Because they feel not quite beautiful, not quite thin, not arrogant enough. Therefore, you should not focus only on falling in love with someone, but allowing yourself to be loved. Not everyone knows why women do this to themselves, but they do it all the time. Evaluated in agony, as if it's so hard to believe that hey, of all the girls in this place, he wants her. Nature has laid such a mechanism in them: to be dissatisfied with themselves, so that they do not stop improving and attract the opposite sex.
Based on this, you should simply flirt more often. Women who flirt more often have more self-confidence and optimism. For them, the lack of an answer from the guy is not the end of the world. They don't receive this signal personally. They act on the principle “if you want it, take it, if you don't want it, it's your loss. Therefore, it is worth taking every opportunity to get to know someone new. Break the routine in your social life and get to know as many new people as possible:
- Accept all possible invitations: It doesn't matter whether it's a colleague's name day from work or a friend's housewarming party - go to everything.
- Revealing Oneself: Being alone is not leprosy. There is no need to hide the fact that there is free time and a desire for new acquaintances. It's worth chatting with friends that they would like to meet someone interesting, so if they recognize someone free, they will arrange a meeting.
- Do not be afraid: you can try to visit a dating site or go to an evening for singles. Why not? Flirting is a cool adventure. You just need a little courage and desire to try something new in life.
Most of the guys who meet along the way would like to date. Probably, the question will be asked here: why don't they do it? Well, they don't have the confidence to offer it directly or the skills - they just don't know how they could do it. Therefore, when an interesting man is around, you should not be afraid to show him that you like him.
When giving signals that he is liked, non-verbal behavior plays an important role, such as: eye contact, smiling, friendly attitude. There can be high effectiveness from the tactics of pretending to be unapproachable, but another game will do for a change.
The most important thing is the look. Every day people limit themselves by making glances fleeting. Therefore, you can show interest by making eye contact with someone and maintaining it for a little longer than usual (but not overdoing it with the length of this gaze). Although, if you have the right attitude, you can overdo it - it will become a fun experience. You can practice looking straight into the eyes of guys on the street, in a cafe, on a walk. You don't have to smile.
Contrary to popular belief, this is not an easy task, women are taught to lower their eyes when they meet someone else's gaze. However, it is worth acquiring used to look directly in the eyes. This adds confidence and self-confidence. And it will be amazing how many men will respond to this. Personal energy from such a game will grow like a snowball. And this will certainly bear fruit in the future, attracting more and more male representatives to a girl who looks somehow unusual and in whose eyes devils are burning.
A little distance always adds pepper. This shows that the woman respects herself and deserves respect. It is worth saying what you think and doing what you want at the moment. This is the best thing to do on a date. You don't need to prove anything to him.
The main thing is that she herself should be well with the hope that he too. The strategy is just to have a nice evening, not necessarily to catch some guy. The world will not collapse if everyone goes their own way. And this is what excites men: they love women with claws, who know what they want and do not need their company, like a fish in water.
Flexibility always comes in price5
When asking how to find a guy, you should not look for a ready-made ideal - George Clooney in the local version. It is clear that he makes a stunning impression, but the sad news is that most of these people live in Hollywood, and, unfortunately, no buses go there from Russia. Therefore, it will be much easier in life if you start choosing from what is really available. Greater flexibility in terms of criteria also increases the chances of success. Because if we assume that the ideal guy should be thin, tall, funny and smart, there will be a high probability that he will meet such, but at the same time he will not know all the Scorpions texts from memory, have rainbow moccasins in the closet, on weekends play quidditch.
All this can be reduced to a short and truthful conclusion: you need to give a chance. This is the simplest answer to the question of how and where to find a guy. Just give this weird guy from the dating site a chance or the one from the bar who timidly called for a drink. Give a man from school a chance, if he tries to get close from a young age, and, despite the past years, still has an interest. The fact that none of them at first glance is ideal does not mean that you do not want to spend your life with him. But how can I convince you of this?
Sad Truth of the Day: Ideals Overrated6
One more thing: is the woman sure that she wants to be with the ideal? Could you unbutton your blouse if Ryan Gosling was really standing in front of her? Would you feel good on a date if Pushkin himself was sitting opposite in the flesh? It's a pity to say this, but with ideals just like with yeti - everyone talks about them, but most likely no one would like to meet them.
And even if a woman had already met someone, she hardly addressed him with a word - because, after all, he was so perfect that she was not able to believe that he would prefer her among all possible women of this world.
Be careful in your desires7
And sometimes, when meeting an ideal, the downside may seem. You can start shining without interruption with the light reflected from it. Suddenly stop being the most beautiful girl in the company, and start being the girl of the most handsome guy. All of a sudden, stop telling the best jokes and start being this guy's girlfriend who tells the best jokes.
Even a mother can admit that everything around him no longer seems so perfect! And before someone says that by breaking with such a person, the woman wanted to cure her complexes, it's worth saying right away - it's clear what she wanted. But before this meeting, they simply could never have been before.
It's like with the old truth: you should be afraid of what a person desires. So how and what if it comes true? Not everyone is ready to adore instead of being adored. Instead of being in the center as usual, being pushed into the background, in order, in the end, to collect your things, not wanting to compete with this irresistibility.
Why, then, did Thomas Shelby come here in the first place? Well, in order to ask the question, do you really want to live with your ideal, and show that there are desires that are best kept deep in the closet. Does Thomas Shelby remain an ideal in my head? Sure.
Because he is strong, silent (according to the principle that a real man does not speak, but acts), decisive and dangerous. He has all these characteristics mentioned at the beginning. In that case, does this mean that every woman would be happy with him if she could only meet him? Of course not.