Table of contents:
- Why is it often so difficult to stop loving a personi
- Why you need to try to stop loving a person2
- What you need to do to stop loving a person3
- How to understand that you managed to stop loving a person4
Love between a man and a woman is not always eternal. It is not uncommon for couples to break up, but feelings remain. You may not be able to cope with this often serious problem on your own. Article: “How to stop loving a person? Psychologists' advice”will help you to understand yourself and move on.
The content of the article
- 1 Why is it often so difficult to stop loving a person
- 2 Why you need to try to stop loving a person
- 3 What you need to do to stop loving a person
- 4 How to understand that you managed to stop loving a person
Why is it often so difficult to stop loving a personi
Unrequited love for a guy or a girl is very hard. Thoughts about a person are constantly spinning in my head, my heart seems to be torn to pieces. Some bring themselves to exhaustion, other health problems, including mental ones, may appear. There comes a time when it is simply necessary to put an end to thoughts of a still loved one who no longer experiences reciprocal feelings. This is far from always easy, but letting go of the love object is necessary. Otherwise, the suffering will never end.
But what is the general reason for obsessive thoughts. Why is it sometimes so difficult to take and stop loving someone? Love is a very strong feeling. Usually it covers a person completely and is fixed in the soul for a long time. Besides, being loved is a natural human need. That is, this feeling is not always amenable to control, since it refers to the unconscious.
When you love someone, the focus of attention shifts to that person. It becomes very difficult to think about someone or something else. Sometimes love can go to an extreme so that there is a real dependence on the object of sighing, the so-called "love addiction". This can already be considered a serious disease in which the help of specialists is needed.
Especially often, dependence, and simply the need for love from the other, manifests itself in people who have received less tenderness, attention and warmth from their parents in childhood. The same applies to those who are insecure, acutely feeling insecure and afraid to be left alone. As a result, growing up, they want attention, become attached to the one who responded to their feelings, and are poorly able to control emotions. There may be constant thoughts and worries about where and with whom the loved one is now, what he is doing, maybe he is cheating.
Such thoughts are exhausting, not only mentally, but also physically. The desire to eat, go out, go about your business may disappear. Naturally, because of this, the nervous system is very exhausted and begins to lose control over itself.
Why you need to try to stop loving a person2
Apart from the health effects described above, there are other reasons. They can be much more dangerous both for the person in love, and for the object of his interest, and even for those around him. Negative emotions and constant experiences sometimes push people to rash, illegal and risky actions. This can be physical violence directed at a lover (or beloved) or someone who is next to him, self-harm, suicide, etc. Not only teenagers with a fragile psyche are capable of this.
Even an adult, exhausted by love experiences, can break loose. Unrequited love does not bring a person anything good, deprives him of the opportunity to be happy and live a full life.
What you need to do to stop loving a person3
It is clear that it will not work just like that and stop loving. There are exceptions, but most people take time. How to stop loving a guy or a girl following the advice of psychologists?
First of all, no matter how trite it may sound, you need to firmly decide to want to stop feeling love for a person. Healing is impossible without this. Next, you should understand that there is no one in what happened, especially your fault. It just so happened and nothing can be changed. No need to look back - it's time to move forward
It's hard to jump up right away and start dealing with unrequited feelings. Sometimes the best way out is to simply surrender to your grief completely, cry, be alone with your own thoughts to give yourself time to come to terms with what happened. Suppressing emotions is also bad, because it can affect the psyche. But it's important not to get stuck in your sadness for good. When a person does all day long lying on the couch, crying, losing contact with the outside world, not answering calls, stopping eating and going to the shower, this is a signal that it is time to end grieving. It is good if there are those nearby who can control this
You need to isolate yourself from the object of love. Delete his / her number from the phone, unsubscribe on social networks, erase joint photos, remove from the house all things that may remind of a person and, of course, not meet with him. Otherwise, thoughts will continue to return to unrequited love. You will want to call, view your profile on the network, find out what he is doing. This will not facilitate the healing process
One of the most common psychologists' advice on how to stop loving a person is to sit down and write lists of the positive and negative qualities of the beloved. You have to be as objective as possible, not hide anything, not invent anything. If possible, you should ask for help from the outside, from relatives or friends. Thus, it will be possible to avoid idealizing a person or, on the contrary, belittling him. Then you need to compare the two lists and understand why they generally fell in love with him and how much he / she deserves to be the one you want to lose
Try to distract yourself with something. It can be anything. An old or new hobby, watching a TV series, reading a book, walking and chatting with friends, playing sports, charity, etc. If you are not allergic, you can even have a pet and redirect love to it
Film "In flight"
How to understand that you managed to stop loving a person4
There are several signs by which you can understand that the healing from falling in love is successful.
- If earlier, with every phone call (in particular from an unknown number), the thought appeared that a loved one was calling, now it has passed.
- Gone is the focus solely on their experiences and feelings. When you grieve, you do not notice others, you think only of yourself.
- Gone are the fantasies and dreams that a person has reawakened reciprocal feelings.
- There are no more associative connections with characters of sad books, films, songs.
- The most obvious sign that love is finally gone is a willingness to start a new relationship.
The end of one relationship does not mean the end of everything. This is a chance, new opportunities that must be taken advantage of. But before that, you have to part with the old attachment.