How Disabled People Have Sex And 4 More Questions About Their Personal Life

Rudeness in dating apps is one of the biggest drawbacks almost every user has to deal with. Especially often they are rude to girls. But it is much, much more difficult for disabled people chained to a wheelchair.

The content of the article

• 1 What impudence people with disabilities have to endure
• 2 "In a nutshell, how are things in your personal life?"
• 3 “What can you say about dating apps? What's your experience? "
• 4 “What is the most appropriate response from other people to disability?”
• 5 "How do you have sex?"

How impudent people with disabilities have to endure

Just ask Lolo, a 31-year-old Los Angeles resident. When she opens the dating app again, she often sees obscene messages there. It's like, "Hey pretty girl, I know I can make you walk again."

“It's as if their members had the ability to heal the sick and raise the dead,” laments Lolo, who suffers from muscular dystrophy. "Until now, I can not get used to this rudeness."

Unfortunately, for Lolo and thousands of other disabled people, rudeness on dating sites, inappropriate questions about their disability and intimate life is an everyday reality.

Below we look at interviews with three disabled people. In it, they talk about the peculiarities of their personal lives, answering the questions of a journalist. Lolo herself, 29-year-old Emin Lakhali from Seattle and 35-year-old Erin Hawley from New Jersey agreed to share the revelations.

“In a nutshell, how are things going in your personal life?” 2

Lolo: “Now I don't even open dating apps. I meet people about once every 3-4 months. I spent most of my time after diagnosis. Then there were several different acquaintances. Now they either send me to the friend zone; or refuse to meet, as it is "too unusual and frightening."

Erin Hawley: “I've had a ton of dates in the past and two times I've gotten into a serious relationship. For the last three years I have been living with a constant partner, in whom I do not like a soul”.

Emin: “I had several dates with girls. Until I found my beloved."

“What can you say about dating apps? What is your experience? "3

Erin: “Online dating for a disabled person is a real nightmare for me. I got creepy messages from guys all the time about whether I could have sex. And then I learned that there are people for whom disability is a fetish. I think that such an attitude is simply inhuman."

Lolo: “The bad news is that you never know how a date will end. I remember my third meeting with one of my acquaintances ended very sadly. On the first two dates, he was a very nice guy. But the third time we got into an argument. He left me in a restaurant, didn't help me get to a taxi, and didn't even ask how I got home. I believe that even when angry, a polite person should not do that."

Emin: “It was easy enough for me to make dates. But most often it didn't work out with the girls for various reasons - disability had nothing to do with it.

“By the way, once I made an appointment with a girl who didn't even know that I was disabled. She was sad and silent all evening. I finally broke down and asked what the reason was. She replied that she was very surprised, as she did not notice the wheelchair from the photo. Since then, I have tried to upload such pictures to applications so that this fact was clear even to my cat."

“What reaction of other people to disability do you think is the most appropriate?” 4

Erin: “For me, the best answer is when a new acquaintance treats me as a full-fledged person, regardless of disability. That is, he treats me as an equal."

Lolo: “I like it when a guy just treats me like a girl who is interesting to him. So my crown advice for those who want to meet with a disabled person is this: pay more attention to the personality traits of your friend, and not to his injury."

Emin: “I really love it when girls joke. It always helps to defuse the atmosphere and make communication more pleasant."

"How do you have sex?" 5

Emin: “One of the ex-girls constantly dreamed that I would push her against the wall. And, of course, I also often wanted this. And so it was very difficult to talk about this topic. She wanted to mimic this experience in different ways, but eventually the intimate relationship faded away. Overall, I enjoyed dating her, but we ended up breaking up."

Lolo: “The only thing I want to say is that honesty is very important in these matters. I have always tried to tell my partner which actions are more convenient for me. In general, sex life becomes more varied with time and practice. Therefore, in no case should you lose hope, and just be patient."

Erin Hawley: “It seems to me that the most important thing in physical intimacy with a disabled person is to take breaks on time. Sometimes this or that position became uncomfortable for me. And it took time to rebuild and take a more comfortable position."