Psychology: Big Age Difference - Are There Any Difficulties? Examples Of Famous Couples

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Psychology: Big Age Difference - Are There Any Difficulties? Examples Of Famous Couples
Psychology: Big Age Difference - Are There Any Difficulties? Examples Of Famous Couples

Video: Psychology: Big Age Difference - Are There Any Difficulties? Examples Of Famous Couples

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Video: Age Difference in Relationships 2023, February
Anonim
Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Sam Taylor Wood
Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Sam Taylor Wood

In historical practice, you can find a great many different-age marriages and it is unlikely that even some 150 years ago, they would have been greatly surprised by the difference between partners. On the territory of the post-Soviet countries, it was customary to conclude a marriage between young guys and girls aged 18-20 years.

The content of the article

  • 1 A marriage of different ages: a historical dimension
  • 2 Catherine II and Grigory Potemkin
  • 3 Emperor Alexander II and Ekaterina Dolgorukova
  • 4 Grand Duke Alexey Alexandrovich and Alexandra Zhukovskaya
  • 5 Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton
  • 6 Hugh Hefner and Crystal Hefner
  • 7 Difference up to 10 years
  • 8 The difference is 10-15 years
  • 9 Age difference over 15 years
  • 10 Difficulties of a marriage of different ages
  • 11 older man
  • 12 older woman

The guys were mostly 3-4 years older and this is quite understandable by serving in the army, studying at a university, psychological maturity in the end. Do not think that the phenomenon of relationships, in which there is a big age difference, arose only in the depraved 21st century. What is unusual in this relationship, what are the pros and cons of relationships with senior partners later in the article.

Multi-Age Marriage: Historical Plane

If you rewind history a little and look at marriage as a union that seals relationships and unites two families, then unequal marriage can be considered an excellent political tool. No one denies that among ordinary peasants not only equal, but also for love, marriages were not often met.

No one asked a young girl if she was ready to marry a grown man, if in exchange for this material benefits were given to the family, and there was one less hungry child. Several interesting examples can be found in the history of famous personalities.

Catherine II and Grigory Potemkin _II

The couple's relationship began back in 1774, when Grigory Alexandrovich was 34 years old, and Empress Catherine II was 10 years older. Despite the great temperament of the Russian queen and an impressive list of love victories, she called Potemkin her husband, and he called her his wife in return.

Judging by unreliable data, they got married in early 1775. Then a little girl appeared in Potemkin's dwelling, who was given the surname Temkin. Her appearance was preceded by the Empress's illness for several days due to unwashed fruits. Who she really is - one can only guess!

Catherine II and Grigory Potemkin
Catherine II and Grigory Potemkin

Emperor Alexander II and Ekaterina Dolgorukova_II-2

The meeting of Captain Dolgorukov's daughter Catherine with her future husband took place for the first time when she was only 11 years old, and he was already over 40. A little more than 6 years passed before the emperor met a beautiful young girl at one of the balls. Their relationship lasted for over 14 years, while the emperor was legally married.

Then, two years before the death of his constantly ill wife, he made up his mind and transported his mistress to the palace. And 40 days after the death of his wife, he married Ekaterina Dolgorukova. By the way, for all their romance, she gave birth to four children.

Emperor Alexander II and Ekaterina Dolgorukova
Emperor Alexander II and Ekaterina Dolgorukova

Grand Duke Alexey Alexandrovich and Alexandra Zhukovskaya2

The son of Emperor Alexander II from his lawful wife did not miss the moment himself, following the example of his father, a mistress among ordinary girls. Vasily Zhukovsky's daughter Sasha became his chosen one. At the time of their acquaintance, the girl was only 19 years old, and the prince was 27. The union did not end well with anything. The parents insisted on the dissolution of the secret marriage, and the pregnant Alexandra was sent abroad, where she gave birth to her son Alexei.

Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton3

During one of the filming, young 19-year-old Elizabeth and 37-year-old Richard were in an official relationship. But this did not prevent the development of a whispering romance, which the entire public whispered about. They got married, divorced, and got married again. It all ended with the death of Richard in 1984, and Elizabeth survived him by 27 years. This relationship is considered one of the brightest novels of the last century.

Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton
Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton

Hugh Hefner and Krystal Hefner4

The record-breaking couple, where there is a big age difference, were considered Hugh Hefner and Crystal Hefner. After several years of courtship, an adult womanizer and the owner of Playboy magazine nevertheless brought one of the girls models to the altar and married her legally.

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Hefner
Hugh Hefner and Crystal Hefner

Among the stars of the domestic show business, Nadezhda Babkina, Lolita, Larisa Dolina, Lera Kudryavtseva, Nonna Grishaeva, Alla Pugacheva were noted in an unequal marriage.

There are many examples from the history of show business, politics, art in which alliances with age differences can be found. Still, the question hovers at age: what causes the search for a partner who is older than parents and sometimes the same age as grandfathers and grandmothers?

Difference up to 10 years_10

If you look at the historical facts, then the majority of alliances are made between people with a difference of up to 10 years. It is difficult to call such a difference a generational difference, but in terms of life experience and moral maturity, 10 years mean a lot. The most popular combination in marriage is when an experienced man or boyfriend marries a young girl.

From the point of view of psychology, this is a harmonious union of people who are at the same level of psychological maturity. Girls are 6-7 years ahead of boys in terms of moral maturity.

Big difference in age
Big difference in age

George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin (18 years difference)

In a union, when a guy is 9-10 years older, the girl is on the same level with him, it is easy for them to solve conflict situations, they have common interests and outlook on life. This is a good union, but not perfect. The girl really wants to meet the expectations of her partner, but the guy is not ready to become a follower and in every convenient situation reminds him that he is older. Over time, this passes and after a few years of marriage, the difference disappears and is no longer noticeable.

The difference is 10-15 years_10-15

Psychologists are confident that this is an excellent and harmonious combination of partners. The big age difference allows the girl to feel married and be completely in his power. One drawback - she cannot feel equal with him. Even after 10 years it will not be possible to compare in life experience. She voluntarily changes a young guy for a stable and well-arranged man.

For a girl, this is a chance to get a colossal life experience, both in everyday life and in relationships. This level is more reminiscent of the relationship between a father and a daughter, when an adult and wealthy man takes responsibility for solving all problems and takes care of the moral comfort of his chosen one.

Big difference in age
Big difference in age

Bruce Willis and Emma Heming (24 years difference)

Age difference over 15 years __15

It is difficult to immediately say how successful such an alliance will be. On the one hand, this is enough for the interests of a man and a woman to be different, and on the other hand, a young girl will give strength and stimulate a man to new exploits and achievements.

Considering the fact that peer couples often complain about the lack of stability and financial insecurity, the senior partner can provide all the wishes, send them on vacation, and provide common children with a future and a good education. It is necessary to take into account the difference in temperament and intimacy in a couple. This can be the cornerstone.

Difficulties of a marriage of different ages5

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas
Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas (25 years difference)

In the modern world, it is not difficult to find an example when a young guy does not think about his family and strives to take advantage of all the possibilities of life and arrange a good career. This also applies to girls. No one else wants to get married at the age of 19 and have one or two children. Time flies quickly, and the young guy turns into a middle-aged bachelor who wants to start a family. This situation is not objective and there are many more reasons for a marriage of different ages.

On the other hand, I want to figure out which is better: when a man or a woman is older.

Male over 6

Marriages in which the spouse is older is the most common option. A woman or a girl chooses not only a reliable partner, but also a stable support for life. Before you agree to a long-term relationship with an older man, you need to ask yourself a couple of questions and answer them honestly.

  • What is behind a relationship: love or money?
  • If money, then how much patience is there enough to endure someone you do not love?
  • How will parents react to the union? Is their opinion important?
  • Should you give up your ambitions for the sake of a relationship with an adult man?
  • Do you want to have children from him?

If most of the answers are in favor of the fact that this is unearthly love that they write about and that age has nothing to do with it, then it is stupid to refuse a relationship.

Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (19 years difference)

Pros of an older partner:

  1. He does not suffer from external factors. This applies to work, self-esteem, the opinions of others. An adult man cannot be broken morally, he has already achieved everything for a long time, and there is no such person whose opinion would influence his choice. It is the perfect partner for a long term relationship. He will always achieve the desired goal, no matter what the cost.
  2. Adequate attitude. An older man will not scream over a couple of cups, and a girl will not touch him with household requests for a living. He either knows how to do everything himself, or he will find those who will do everything for money.
  3. An experienced seducer. The partner knows exactly what a woman needs in bed and will always get a couple of trump cards and special chips. Therefore, a girl will get unreal pleasure from sex with an adult man. Men over 40 know that first you need to take care of the lady's pleasure, and then about yours.
  4. This is a useful marriage from all points of view. He has many connections, he is ready to invest in the development and improvement of his partner. The girl has solid advantages from this.

It would be honest not to talk about the cons of such an alliance. Because of jealousy and a constant desire to control, a man can go crazy and at an older age becomes unbearable for life. Difficulties arise in communicating with relatives from both sides, there are always children of almost the same age who can sincerely hate their father's new partner.

Woman over7

From the point of view of psychologists, the difference of more than 6-7 years in age is already considered significant. Historical examples show that a woman can also choose a guy younger than her. What drives these women? It can be doing to teach a partner and realize maternal instincts on it, or just a desire to have a young lover next to him.

A guy chooses a mature partner for himself in order to work out with her the ideal scenario of a relationship with his mother, which he did not manage to realize in childhood. Now, in more detail about the advantages of this relationship format:

Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas
Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas

Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas (10 years difference)

  1. The young man helps to slow down old age. The roots lie in the psychological mood of the partner and her unwillingness to grow old next to the young guy, from whom the energy hits like a fountain.
  2. Sex is harmonious and almost perfect. The guy can still engage in all sorts of caresses all night, and the woman already understands what she wants in sex.
  3. A woman over 40 years old will not be hysterical, arrange incomprehensible quarrels out of nothing. She has seen a lot in her life and knows that all conflicts can be resolved without quarrels and shouts.
  4. For a young partner, you want to keep yourself in shape. This is confirmed by the domestic stars of the screen, who look 20 years younger than before meeting with their young husband.

Read everything that you wanted to know about sex with an older man and all the intricacies of such a relationship in our article.

There are also downsides to this relationship. Over time, an elderly woman begins to notice new wrinkles in the mirror, while a young husband becomes a mature man. If he wants to feel like the head, then with a high degree of probability nothing will come of it. A woman is used to deciding everything herself and relying on her own strength.

Another of the drawbacks is the sidelong glances of relatives and condemning conversations, which boil down to the guy finally changing his mind and finding himself a girl of his age. In a couple, jealousy can develop painfully. Girls are staring at a young guy, and next to him is an adult woman who is suitable for a mother. This thought becomes fertile ground for the development of neuroses and fears for the future.

Cheryl Cole and Liam Payne
Cheryl Cole and Liam Payne

Cheryl Cole and Liam Payne (10 years difference)

Is there a future for such unions? As practice shows, there is! Not only in the world of stars, but also in ordinary people, you can often find stories where one of the partners takes on all the concerns and problems of the younger. This is not perversion, not painful love and codependency.

This is partly a calculation, a desire to be confident in the next day, a lack of interest in peers due to their moral immaturity, or a bad experience of past relationships. Whatever becomes the motive for relationships where there is a big age difference, the main thing is mutual understanding, help, harmony, love, care.

If there are key points in a healthy relationship, what does it matter what they say behind your back? Often, those who have time to discuss other people's relationships are not able to build their own.

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