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Video: Why Is It Important To Love Yourself, Or How To Start Raising Your Self-esteem?
Not every person loves himself. Moreover, not everyone knows what self-love is. It is not easy to give a short and clear explanation of this phenomenon. This concept has many different manifestations in human life and affects a colossal number of factors and aspects. Some people confuse this feeling with selfishness, narcissism, egocentrism. This is a wrong view, because loving yourself means respecting yourself and trying to make your life better.
The content of the article
- 1 The need to love your person
- 2 Signs of problems
- 3 Qualities of self-loving people
The need to love your personi
You need to love yourself for many reasons. But first you need to understand what this feeling is and why it is important. If a person loves himself, then he respects himself. He accepts his spiritual qualities, appearance and abilities, in whatever state they are. Someone who loves himself does not lack confidence in his actions. This is a healthy feeling, and every person should have it in order for his life to be happy.
Some people on certain sides meet the listed characteristics. Yes, to some extent, they feel love for themselves. But not everyone feels this feeling to the required extent. Many are still far from complete harmony with their mind and physical body. And they need to go a long and thorny path of working on themselves and accepting their own characteristics. And at the same time, they need to understand why all this is needed.
If a person realizes his worth, loves his qualities and accepts himself, then he will not have doubts about his decisions and actions. How to understand that a person has no respect for himself and does not value his qualities? You need to look at his consciousness and character. If he has a lot of complexes, he is shy, depends on the opinions of others, gives in to influence, does not have an expressed opinion - then he most likely does not love himself.
Do not think that a person who loves himself does not think about the opinions and feelings of others. Such a person has found harmony and balance in this regard. A person who values himself and his loved ones will always find a way to take care of them. At the same time, he understands strangers - he will not invade their personal space, show disrespect, tactlessness, rudeness. He who loves himself almost does not succumb to despondency - he is happy, cheerful and gives pleasant emotions to everyone around him. Other people are drawn to such personalities.
Why isn't self-esteem equal to egoism? Egoists are those who, under any circumstances, only care about satisfying their needs and achieving their goals. Egoists are not able to take care of others, even the closest people. In a relationship with them, they are sure to look for benefits for themselves. People with a healthy self-esteem are not like that.
They are able to pay attention to the problems of others, sympathize, help, and at the same time remain themselves. Such individuals do not go for meanness and do not commit low deeds only for the sake of achieving their goals and satisfying desires. They respect people while respecting themselves. To some extent, pride and selfishness are similar. There is even such an expression: "If you do not love and respect yourself, then other people will not be able to do it." However, self-esteem is a healthy and adequate feeling. Selfishness is a hypertrophied desire to please only oneself.
Signs of problems2
How to independently understand that there are some problems with self-esteem and self-esteem? External evaluation is not always able to provide the necessary information. After all, it is the owner who understands his personality best. The person himself subconsciously notes all his problems, complexes, shortcomings, fears, experiences. He is not always aware of them, but this must be done in order to correct the situation.
You need to look into yourself and, if there is at least one of the listed characteristics, then think about correcting your life:
poor nutrition. If a person eats anything horrible, that he, of course, does not love and does not take care of himself. Sweets and fast food can be addictive. And abuse of them threatens inevitable health problems - obesity and diabetes. Many people realize this, but still do not find the strength to refuse tasty, but dangerous. Indulging in fleeting desire is a lack of willpower that prevents one from moving towards the main goal. A lack of willpower is one of the signs of self-dislike
- disregard for appearance. If a person does not take good care of himself, then he most likely thinks that there is no point in this. The reasons for it may be different, but most often the answer is: “Anyway, I will remain ugly, why all this?” Uncertainty and complexes that prevent such people from becoming better are also signs of lack of pride;
- clutter in a room or apartment. It is not for nothing that they say that if a person has a mess in a room, then it is in his head. Such a person does not care about the state of his things and home, because he does not value them. Nor does he value himself. If such a person had respect for himself, he would never allow himself to make disorder in the apartment and live in a "pigsty";
- lack of a daily routine. A person can sit for hours of sleep at a computer or smartphone. Why? Because he doesn't care about his condition after waking up. Again, the question of willpower and discipline arises. A self-respecting person would take care to be ready for a new day, not to be late for work or school, to be vigorous and sleepy in the morning. And the one who does not care about himself will continue to go with the flow and satisfy only his fleeting "Wishlist", ignoring the main goals.
Why doesn't a person take care of themselves? He lacks self-esteem and willpower to make his life better. He may think that he is beyond his powers. Therefore, he is waiting for someone who will take care of him instead of himself. The one who will put him to bed on time, remind him of the need for order, invite him to eat at a certain time. Such people have not matured to the end, and their real age does not play any role in this matter. The most common cause of such an unformed consciousness is overprotection in childhood and adolescence.
The qualities of people who love themselves3
All people who have a healthy self-esteem share several basic qualities. You need to get to know them in order to find out how "everything is bad" in this case. And they need to be guided by those who want to correct the situation and begin to feel love for themselves.
What you need to do in order to develop your self-esteem:
- Refuse self-destruction. If a person appreciates himself, then he will not be in vain to wind up bad thoughts, to accuse himself of anything. No self-flagellation! Of course, you shouldn't miss all your mistakes, wrong decisions. Moreover, it is not necessary, while making mistakes, to continue to believe that you are right. This is already excessive self-confidence, which has never brought people to goodness. It is important to be able to learn from your mistakes, admit your mistakes and shortcomings, and draw conclusions from the current situations. But never admit reproaches from yourself in your own address. Oppressive thoughts are the main tool in the destruction of your personality. The one who loves and accepts himself realizes where he was wrong. We must not ignore what is happening, analyze it and act in such a way as to achieve a better result in the future.
- Do not revel in your importance, skills, achievements. The person who knows his own worth, has confidence and dignity, does not feel any desire to prove anything to others. A person with self-esteem cannot be “taken lightly” and cannot be manipulated in any way for their own purposes. But the one who has a huge baggage of complexes, problems and fears, the one who is dependent on the opinions of others, will very actively make of himself what he is not. For such people, who are not in harmony with themselves, the creation of an image of success and superiority is worth higher than the real development of their personality. Such feelings are quite understandable if they are experienced by a teenager with an unformed outlook on life. This often goes away after the formation of consciousness is completed. But if an adult notices thatthat he seeks to please everyone or show everyone his importance, then you should analyze your behavior as soon as possible and take action. Often, these outlook problems have their roots in childhood and adolescence. Complexes and experiences can stay with a person for many years.
- Develop in all directions at once. A self-loving person makes no distinction between his mind and his body. For him, it is a single entity that needs to be developed from all sides. Many people have noticed situations like this when someone rushes to extremes. For example, he devoted himself entirely to self-development in any field or profession, while leaving behind his physical form, which led to health problems. The opposite situation is a person who focuses on physical development, on an ideal appearance, but does not pay attention to intellectual development. Both of these paths are wrong. To be in harmony with oneself, a person needs to maintain balance. You need to develop both your mind and your body. Few people take seriously the fact that such an imbalance can lead to dire problems in the future.
- Always be ready for a relationship with another person. One who does not love himself cannot truly love anyone else. Personal harmony, lack of complexes and self-confidence allow you to create strong and warm family relationships. And the one who does not have respect for himself and does not value himself will look for such a person who will feel pity for them, comfort, listen to the endless stream of self-flagellation and try to refute all these words. If a person does not value himself, then he simply cannot give something to other people. He only wants to take energy, feelings, attention or something else from them, filling his inner emptiness and distracting from the terrible thoughts in his head. A lot of couples broke up precisely because one of the partners did not have enough self-respect … People in such a relationship are not able to give something,sacrifice something. And if they are capable, they expect some kind of answer. If a person loves himself, then he is ready to do something for others, without expecting anything in return. Matured and self-respecting individuals do not need to cry into someone's waistcoat.
Learn not to cheat. The most important thing is not to lie to yourself. Only others can accept various excuses for a bad and inferior life. "If the salary is small, then the boss is greedy and unfair to the workers." "If there are no friends, then because people cannot be trusted." "And there is no relationship because all partners want only money from the other." This can be said to others, but it is worth considering that the problems that surround a person are most often the result of his decisions. It should be understood that it is not at all necessary to shoulder the burden of blame for all the injustices around. It's too much. But it is imperative to understand where the roots of unpleasant situations, conflicts and mistrust come from. It is important to be responsible to yourself for all your actions and not engage in self-deception. Of course, other people should not be deceived either. Many people are definitely worthyto know the whole truth, whatever it may be. Therefore, sincerity and directness in communication are highly valued by modern society
Accepting and loving yourself is not easy. Only people who lack love for their personality are inclined to praise their achievements, to boast of skills and knowledge, to prove something to others. Even selfishness and overestimated self-esteem, terms that stand next to self-esteem, are the product of the destructive work of bad thoughts and human complexes. You cannot truly love yourself and be selfish at the same time. Although these concepts are close, they are mutually exclusive. And a person who is in harmony with himself is devoid of any complexes and problems. The only thing he wants is to feel happiness and to feel the fullness of his life.
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