Table of contents:
- Action plani
- Looking sadness in the eye2
- Extroverts and introverts3
- Out of sight! 4
- Workaround 5
- Narrowing circle 6
- "So are you together or what?" 7
- Finish. Victory9
Video: How To Stop Loving A Guy Quickly: Actionable Expert Advice
Love is a wonderful feeling that has far from wonderful consequences for the psyche and self-esteem. If the sacramental question arose “how to stop loving a guy, stop thinking about him all day and night and start enjoying life,” then this article is a must-read.
The content of the article
- 1 Action plan
- 2 Looking sadness in the eye
- 3 Extroverts and introverts
- 4 Out of sight!
- 5 Work-around maneuver
- 6 Narrowing the circle
- 7 "So are you together or what?"
- 8 Renaissance
- 9 Finish. Victory
- 10 Helpers
Logical and not so, scientific and popular, reasonable and crazy - all the ways to drive a guy out of the heart that are known to mankind. Whether to choose the one that is most suitable for you, or methodically try all the methods - we leave the choice to you.
Looking sadness in the eye2
The very first thing to do is allow yourself to be sad. You've probably read John Green's books or watched films based on his works. If you haven't looked, you have heard, believe me. One can spit indefinitely at the mere mention of teenage psychological dramas, but the phrase “pain wants to be felt” is worthy of applause.
If this literary reference does not convince you, here is another example: it has been scientifically proven that timely unlived emotions and feelings can later respond to severe psychological disorders (depression, panic disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, etc.) and diseases of internal organs.
Nobody likes to suffer and feel bad (except those who enjoy the position of universal sacrifice, which everyone regrets), we all want to be happy and carefree 24/7. But we do not live in a perfect world. Troubles have happened, are happening and will continue to happen, so you need to learn how to contact them.
Anyone has the right to sadness, longing and being alone with their grief. Listen to sad songs (including those associated with your ex), watch movies about unhappy love and breakups, read books.
Allocate to yourself a specific period of time, which you will devote with a clear conscience to “experiencing pain”. "Eternity", "decade" and other loud statements are discarded immediately. Falling in love and passion are given to a person many times, but mom and dad give life only once.
Extroverts and introverts3
Determine your temperament type. In difficult times, is it easier for you to be alone with yourself and your thoughts, or to sit in an embrace with a friend? In the first case, explain to your loved ones that you love them more than anyone else in the world, but now you want to be alone and not go to parties and fun gatherings.
Meet with friends where you feel comfortable, calm and safe - invite a friend for coffee at a nearby coffee shop or invite your home for homemade pizza. In the second case, on the contrary, tell your loved ones that you are very bad and you would be very grateful for their help and support. Truly close people will understand everything: the desire to close at home with TV shows, and the unexpected love of nightclubs and bars.
The main thing to remember is that you love these people very much and wish them well, and therefore you will not pour out all your negativity on them. You are not going to become a Dementor (Harry Potter fans - hello, the rest are such flying things that suck out the desire to live) and you don't want your friends to feel as bad as you, okay?
Out of sight! 4
Stop looking at his photo. Photos of his friends showing his knee. Stop listening to his favorite music. Especially if you listened to it only for his sake and in fact, post-hardcore or rap does not caress your ear from the word at all.
Stop reading his horoscope. Stop looking at joint photos and re-reading correspondence. Or do the opposite - look at his photo for five hours in a row. Read your correspondence. Five hours straight. If you didn't start to feel sick, then it even became interesting to see what kind of Brad Pitt is. But we will not look at him. And you won't. We delete, erase, block, throw away.
You need to do everything possible not to meet with the object of passion. We visited one gym together - we are looking for another or we choose days on which the risk of meeting is minimal. Every day they tracked him down in a coffee shop - buy yourself a Turk and learn how to make coffee yourself.
Perhaps it turns out that you have talent, and one day you will conquer someone with your own latte? It is not necessary to change the place of study / work, you do not have to complicate your life because of this person. If you have long wanted to transfer to another university / to another job, consider that this is a sign from the Universe.
Preparing documents. If you've lived together, it is obvious that the first step is to separate. But now you don't have to cook a hearty meat dinner and you can enjoy your favorite vegetarian dishes.
Narrowing circle 6
You don't have to stay in touch with a guy's friends if your only common interest was him. There is no need to quarrel with them, there is no need to arrange scenes. If your friends are in common, and you value the relationship, in any case do not force them to take sides.
They don't want to stand between two fires and choose. Ultimatums have yet to save any relationship from breaking up. And besides, do not "wash dirty linen in public." Friends don't have to know every aspect of your love life. That's why it's personal.
"So are you together or what?" 7
We have considered the options in which the communication is over. It doesn't matter which side initiated the breakup. We work with what we have.
But what if the communication continues? If the guy is quite friendly and peaceful and makes contact? Here you have to dance from the reason why the girl decided to stop loving this guy.
If any doubts, complexes or public opinion interfere with her, then you need to sit down and think carefully whether it is worth trying to stop loving this guy or whether you need to slap yourself in the face, start up and fly towards mutual love.
Such miraculous outcomes are, of course, rare. If a girl decided to stop loving a guy, then he messed up somewhere. To understand that she has fallen out of love and the relationship has reached a dead end, and the following signs will help to stop communication:
- It's worse with a guy than without him. If a man systematically kills the psyche with his nagging, bullying, cruel jokes, lies and is generally not ready to invest in a relationship. Surely, the girl more than once or twice spoke seriously with her boyfriend and asked not to hurt her. If he did not heed her pleas until this day, then he does not care about the girl's feelings and he does not intend to change his model of behavior. It is worth remembering all the suffering that he caused and stop any contacts without regret.
- Relationships are like a swing or don't develop at all. It doesn't matter if the guy is afraid of a serious relationship or honed his pickup skills on the girl - such communication will not lead to anything good. It is possible that he will fly away himself when he finds someone more interesting. There is no point in waiting for the "doomsday"; it is necessary to part now.
- Self-development. After days, weeks, and months of depression and degradation, it's time to take care of yourself. It's time to do what there was no time for before (it was busy thinking about the guy, attending cooking and other courses, just to keep him), as well as what was previously prohibited. Active hobbies are useful, energizing, allowing to throw out negativity and - looking to the future - to find new interesting acquaintances. Gym, dancing, extreme sports. You can go to female dance courses (pole dancing, striptease lessons, the bolder and more unusual the better), in order to reveal your inner femininity and sexuality, to regain the lost harmony with your body.
- Dating and acquaintances. You don't need to get bogged down in promiscuity and overnight relationships if you've never been free-minded. It can only make depression worse. Go out to parties with your friends more often, be open to new acquaintances and internalize the idea that there are many bad guys in the world. But there are many more good ones.
- Enjoy your freedom. If you were in a relationship, surely you obeyed certain rules and could not do some things? If the guy was against a radical change in hair color or length, and you have been staring at girls with a platinum pixie haircut for a long time - go to a good hairdresser! The guy believed that a girl should sit at home and cook borscht, and have you already forgotten what it is like to go to a club with your friends? We quickly throw the message "I want to party!" and get out that red dress. Enjoy the time that now belongs only to you. Only give your attention to people who treat you well and care about your well-being.
We have all heard about the stages of depression, which include denial, anger, fear and others like them. Let's focus on the last one - acceptance. Accept that this person is not for you. He is not bad, and you are not. You will not be angry with mayonnaise for the fact that it goes worse with cereals than milk or strawberry yogurt? Mayonnaise and oatmeal are great on their own and on their own. And we love them when they are apart (well, with the exception of rare gourmets and pregnant women).
Stage one is decline
What are we watching? "Bridget Jones's Diary", "A Walk to Love", "The Memory Diary" and other tearful films, numerous dramas and pictures without a happy ending.
What are we listening to? Everything dedicated to sadness and parting. You can start with the songs Maxim.
What are we eating? Something that in normal times they did not allow themselves. Or not in such quantities.
What are we doing? We cry, we are sad, we surrender ourselves to sadness.
How long is the stage? No more than one to two months.
Stage two - rebirth from the ashes.
What are we watching? Groundhog Day, Always Say Yes, films and TV series about the value of life, about strong women and enjoying every day.
What are we listening to? Something that makes you dance and energizes - from Afrobeat to Madonna songs
What are we eating? We learn to cook the right tasty dishes, we absorb foods rich in serotonin (fatty fish, cheese, mushrooms, bananas, nuts, legumes).
What are we doing? We improve the body (go to the beauty salon and the gym), heal the soul (sign up for a psychologist or make an appointment with our best friend), travel, go to parties, try new things and enjoy communicating with new people.
How long is the stage? All your wonderful life.
Life goes on
Exactly this way and nothing else. Multifaceted, rich and rich in all kinds of opportunities and acquaintances. After the black stripe, the white one invariably comes. This is the law of global equilibrium, and it works flawlessly.
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