How Money Can Ruin A Relationship Between A Man And A Woman?

Many couples, and sometimes couples who are just starting a life together, often have disputes over money. Who will pay utility bills, who should bring more money to the family, who should pay the restaurant bill? And this is not because it is important for women that the wallet is always full, and the man, acting as a getter, feels much more confident.

The content of the article

• 1 A bit of theory about how relationships are built
• 2 How money can affect family relationships
• 3 How not to turn a relationship into a deal
• 4 Who should earn more

It's just that the financial topic concentrates most of all the desires and needs of people, as well as fears and worries about their future. Money excites most of the problems in the existing relationship between partners, but with the correct and skillful approach to this topic, money can become a solid foundation for further relationships.

Some theory on how relationships are built

When two people are united in a pair, they can call the created relationship whatever they like: “just meet”, “lovers”, “family”. But from the side of psychology, any relationship is seen as "interaction". Interaction occurs simultaneously on three levels - sexual, emotional (love and feelings), social (common interests and affairs).

Each of these levels has its own laws and if partners intuitively observe these laws, then harmony reigns in the relationship. At the sexual level, relationships should be based on unpredictable and spontaneous desire. The emotional level is built on the basis of freedom of choice and feelings, because love can only be voluntary, it is impossible to agree to love.

Social level means that partners need to agree on obligations towards each other, sanctions for default and role relationships of each. That is, in a harmonious pair, "love", "want" and "profitable" must coincide.

If you look at the levels of interaction from the financial side, money provokes conflicts in the family like this: "You do not bring as much money to the family as I expected to receive, and therefore I will cheat on you and humiliate you."

How money can affect family relationships2

Even when a man and a woman first met, money unknowingly begins to influence relationships. Even during the period of the candy-bouquet romance, the girl unconsciously begins to read information about the guy. Did he invite her to a restaurant or a cheap cafe? What flowers did he give her?

The guy, in turn, begins to note: frowned in the restaurant - she doesn't like Italian cuisine or was she counting on a more expensive restaurant? All this happens because each partner unconsciously tries to understand for himself on which of the two principles, their relationship will be built in the future:

• I love you and therefore I will take care of you in the future;
• you and I will agree on who and what owes each other and I will buy you or sell myself.

These two considerations are the basic forms of influence of money on relationships.

1. Money as a way to show concern for a partner.
2. Money as a way to influence a partner.

If your husband earns a lot more than you and at the same time never asks about your salary, but simply transfers the previously agreed amount to the general account without reminders. Your husband never allows you to be embarrassed to ask: "Will you give me some money, otherwise I signed up for a hairdresser, but my salary was delayed?", But simply leaves some amount in the morning, just in case, suddenly the money ran out.

You can be sure that for him money is a way to show care for you. A person who sincerely wants to protect, care, give and does not expect to receive an equal response from his half - really loves. In such relationships, built on the desire to give selflessly, money plays the role of nourishing energy.

If your husband, earning more than you, is always interested in how much you spent and requires you to add all or half of your salary to the general budget. And if suddenly you ask him for money for new clothes, he will definitely ask why you need a new dress or boots. Of course, the husband is not greedy and not evil, and he will give money.

But still, his impulse to pay or please you is accompanied by a desire to get something in return, or to have full or partial control over all income. In such a relationship, money is seen as a way to influence the partner and your relationship is dependent. In a dependent relationship, money excites destructive energy that can subsequently destroy the relationship.

How not to turn a relationship into a deal3

The worst variant of financial behavior can develop according to the principle “you give me money, and in return I will cook food for you, take care and give you my body”. This is the most common business contract. Usually he hides under beautiful words - duty and responsibility. Such couples eventually come to the conclusion that the wife, in a fit of quarrel, says: “You only need sex from me,” while the man feels guilty and begins to confirm “I not only need sex” with gifts and money.

It often happens that a wealthy man is afraid that he will again come across a selfish woman on his life path and therefore he hides his true financial situation. He does not give his beloved any gifts, not even flowers and hopes that he will be loved for who he is. And then he wonders what is wrong with all women. All of these options are ultimately just attempts to manipulate, protect themselves from trusting relationships and insincere behavior.

It is very important in monetary relations to maintain a balance - on the one hand, showing care and giving gifts, on the other hand, a feeling of gratitude and reciprocal action.

Who should earn more4

In the modern world, a woman can and can make money, but the development of relationships largely depends on what kind of money it is. If partners earn about the same, then there is a high probability of developing harmonious relationships in which a woman is financially independent and enjoys life with a man, without hesitation whether he will support her and, if so, under what conditions.

And the partner himself will trust his young lady more and feel that she needs him himself, and not his financial condition. If a lady earns much more than her man and this state of affairs suits each of the partners and does not cause conflicts, then there is also a chance for a harmonious relationship. There is no point in starting to fix something that is not going to break.

And yet, now very often there are situations in which a girl cannot or cannot earn enough money. Even in this case, it makes sense not to consider a man as a source of financial well-being, but simply to respect and love him for who he is and together form a family in which the question of money will be part of a common life.

The principle of no one is obliged to give something to anyone - the basis of strong and healthy relationships. In a relationship where one of the partners is trying to shake out "debts" from the other, they are nothing more than a simple attempt to manipulate, and sooner or later this manipulation will first bring doubts and anxiety.

And it will only be a matter of time before the accumulated negative energy splashes out and begins to slowly erode and then destroy the existing relationship. There is a popular stereotype in the world that money excites women. But in fact, women love in men not money at all, but the personal qualities of a person, thanks to which a man achieved success and material wealth.