Do These 7 Things And Improve Your Chances Of Dating

Research on attractiveness, persuasiveness, and all the things that people build successful relationships with will help you when using dating apps.

The content of the article

• 1 kiss the frog
• 2 Big difference
• 3 Back to tradition
• 4 How to use the wonders of technology?
• 5 The very subtleties

Kiss the frog

Do you still think that online dating is a dangerous and difficult game, reminiscent of Russian roulette?

You are not alone.

The data from the Pew Research Center is here to reassure you.

Yes, the number of people using dating apps is growing inexorably.

Yes, the percentage of people who are comfortable with online dating is also increasing.

But!

About a third of users admit that they did not dare to meet in reality with those with whom they corresponded online.

In addition, online dating is not suitable for the faint of heart and those who are quickly disappointed in everything. So says Harry Rice, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. “There is an old adage that you need to kiss a bunch of frogs before you meet the prince. I think it is very useful to describe the whole essence of online dating."

Rice studies social relationships and the factors that influence them. He co-authored a 2012 article that said psychology can explain how online dating works.

We will stop at this now.

Big difference2

The first meeting in reality and the first "meeting" online are not the same thing. Rice himself prefers to use the term "online meeting", that is, "online meeting." The term "online dating" ("online dating", "online relationship") seems inappropriate to him.

“You have some information about a person even before you meet him,” says Harry Rice, describing online dating. Before the first date, you have the opportunity to read the brief information in the profile or exchange a couple of messages.

When you are dating offline, you can also have information about a potential partner, and impressive. For example, if you were brought together by friends. At the same time, you may not know anything about your new acquaintance at all. If you met, for example, in a bar.

“The idea behind online dating is not new,” says Lara Hallam, Research Fellow in Communication Research at the University of Antwerp, where she is working on her PhD in Relationship Studies. Her research is currently focused on online dating. She also found that age is the only more or less reliable predictor of whether your relationship will translate into reality or not.

“People have always used intermediaries when it comes to finding a mate - parents, friends, tribe members, and so on,” Hallam says. Online dating is different in that there is always a place for anonymity on the Internet.

When you meet through friends or family members, you have a chance to receive, to varying degrees, reliable information about the prospective partner.

Whatever the outcome of pimping, friends sincerely believe they are introducing you to someone you like. And online dayters remain strangers until they meet online.

Back to tradition3

And yet, in a relationship there is a place for tradition and "old-fashioned".

There are things that you cannot figure out by looking at the online survey. And text messaging won't help here either.

“Do you have a good communication? Do you make each other laugh? Do you enjoy each other's company? Do you feel better around this person? " - Rice is bombarded with questions.

“The most important relationship points go far beyond online communication,” says Rice.

Dating apps and sites are designed to help you meet more people. Meet online - continue chatting offline.

How to use the wonders of technology? 4

To date, there is not much research on where online dating is leading. That is, how it all ends.

But the principles by which relationships are built and function have been studied for decades.

“What can we say about online dating? Most of our conclusions are based on research that is not related to the topic,”says Rice.

Samir Chaudhry, M.D., a general practitioner at the University of North Texas at Dallas, co-authored the 2015 BMJ Evidence-Based Medicine article in which he and co-author reviewed nearly 4,000 studies in psychology, sociology, neurocognitive science, and other disciplines to develop a number of recommendations for creating a profile, choosing "matches" (matches) and approaching online communication.

Creating a profile on a dating site in a certain way is by no means a guarantee of meeting the love of your life. But Chaudhry's findings do provide some guidance on how to share information about yourself and how to decide who to rely on. “There are little subtleties that can help,” he says.

The very subtleties5

Choose apps wisely

Be selective. There are apps for finding sex for one night. Others are designed to unite people of certain religious convictions with similar interests, etc. “Choose the apps that fit your goals and what you're looking for in a partner,” advises Hallam.

Be honest

Research says we fall in love with people like us. Whether it is the experience of relationships (the number and quality of connections, the presence or absence of marriages, etc.), the desire (or unwillingness) to have children, favorite pets or religion. The more honest you are, the higher your chances of finding someone who really suits you.

Choose the best photo

“In a photograph, you should look the same as in life. But you should like these photos,”Hallam says.

This person does not yet know you, so he will judge by your appearance. The researchers say people are attracted to a genuine smile and a slight tilt of the head.

Brevity should be your sister

Nobody wants to read a huge six-paragraph essay. People quickly swipe left and right, they don't have time for long reading. Indicate in your profile the most important and interesting information about yourself.

List the facts that reflect you as a person. People like interesting personalities. And write what kind of partner you are looking for. “The ideal formula is 70% information about you and 30% about the desired partner,” Chaudhry advises.

Be open

You shouldn't write off a person just because they don't run in the morning and you doubt their hobby. “Be as open as possible. You can grow with this person,”says Rice.

Do not forget that the mutual exchange of new information and experience is one of the keys to harmonious and long-term relationships.

Do not tighten

As mentioned above, some aspects of the relationship are clarified only with real communication. Don't put the date on the back burner.

Online communication should be short - no more than two weeks.

Have fun

These apps should be fun. Don't take it as backbreaking work.

Listen to yourself. If online communication isn't fun and you feel terrible, take a break.