The Trap Of False Promises: How To Get A Handle On The Manipulator

2023 Author: Miles Ford | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-24 12:19

As a rule, at the beginning of acquaintance, the intentions of most people are quite transparent. However, there are types in society who do not disdain manipulation. They spoil the lives of others, mercilessly squandering other people's time and emotional forces. Today we'll talk about how to protect yourself from manipulative people at the initial stages of dating; we will focus on their most widespread game "False Promises".

The content of the article

• 1 Benefits of research on bad faith
• 2 False promises
• 3 How to protect yourself

Benefits of research on bad faith i

To do this, you will have to devote time to researching their own cunning and insidious art. Learning how to influence and persuade people is useful in the context of two possibilities:

• Opportunities to create mutually beneficial exchanges with others (where both people receive something of value).
• And the ability to identify and protect oneself from manipulation (when others take without giving anything).

Therefore, studying manipulative styles of behavior is useful even for those people who do not want to become scoundrels and deceivers. In the world of human relations, it is important to know how to protect yourself from unscrupulous individuals.

False promises2

It's one thing to influence a relationship in one way or another, doing it for their good; and it is completely different to take without giving anything in return. A psychological game called False Promises serves precisely this manipulative purpose. In this game, the manipulator gets something at the moment, promising something good from himself - but later. Of course, the promised favors are never realized. The victim of manipulation feels deceived.

There are many variations of the False Promises game. Some of them are more or less soft. For example, if you go with your partner to the restaurant that he likes, then then visit the one that you like best (which, of course, never happens). There are also harsher options, when a person promises to quit drinking or to change if he is given another chance.

How to protect yourself 3

Usually people find it difficult to defend themselves against this type of manipulation. First, we have a very strong desire to trust our partner; and this is quite normal and good for a good relationship Second, it is difficult to tell the difference between manipulation and a promise made in good faith that a person could not keep. This can be done as follows:

• Get yours first. If a person is really sincere, then it is not difficult for him to go first to the restaurant that you like. Likewise, he or she will not mind being sober or faithful for a while before being forgiven.
• Set your own terms. For example, if your partner constantly borrows money from you, then you can explain to him: he or she will pay at the restaurant during dates with you until the debt is returned. Such conditions will not upset those people who are sincere. If a person begins to be indignant or show negative, manipulation takes place.
• Appeal to self-esteem. One of the trickiest ways. Even liars like to think of themselves as good people. This will test their sincerity.

For example, you say, “I trust you because you are a very good person. Not like all these losers who throw promises with no intention of keeping them."

If a person is sincere, he will like this statement. However, such words will make an insincere person feel very bad. So if you say something like this to your partner, and he takes a hostile position, you should be careful.