Should A Girl Talk About Her Past And What To Keep Silent About

Life is multifaceted. People converge and diverge, each day cultivating more and more baggage of life experience. With each new relationship, this baggage is more and more. And here a completely natural question arises: "Do I need to share my past?" Who and when should and shouldn't open their Pandora's Box?

The content of the article

• 1 Serious relationship
• 2 When to tell the truth
• 3 How to present the truth

Serious relationshipi

When a couple meets from school or from the first year of university, both partners have only vivid childhood memories (often shared) behind them. This state of affairs greatly facilitates the behavior of a man. Trust easily established does not threaten to break under the yoke of past relationships. This is a very convenient union, which can only be destroyed by mistakes made while in a relationship. But that's another problem.

But what if a girl is not the first in a man's life? In this case, the main guide is the status of relationships. A man should be aware of exactly how he relates to a girl. Is he not deceiving himself with serious intentions towards her? Is it a relationship for convenience and regular sex, or a strong alliance with a promising future? Is he sure that this is the girl he wants to introduce to friends and introduce to his parents?

Will he want to see her with him in the same apartment in 10 years? And after 50? Does he want this particular girl to raise his children and congratulate his mother on his birthday? Does he want her to be there when he feels bad? Does he want to share the good news with her? If the answer to all questions is yes, then the man should be ready to reveal all the cards.

In a serious relationship, there is no place for the question "is it necessary?" The answer is always the same - it is necessary. Because the past will still become known. But how a girl finds out about it depends on the guy.

If a guy admits for himself that a real relationship is temporary, then there is no place for a deep, difficult truth about the past. And even when he lost his virginity, and as his mother called him in childhood, it is also not particularly important. Another thing is important. It's important to acknowledge the easy status of the relationship for yourself and make it clear to your girlfriend.

In a frivolous relationship, another truth is important - not to hide your true intention from a woman and not to deceive her with stories about a joint future, so long as she does not leave while he is so comfortable with her. Even a temporary partner deserves the truth and the right to choose - to stay or leave in search of someone for whom she will become a serious happiness.

When to tell the truth2

Immediately. Immediately, as a man realized that he trusted a woman. As soon as he saw his future in her. As soon as he wanted her to be completely and completely his. It may not be from the beginning of the relationship. But this should not be delayed either. After all, if after a few years a person does not feel “his own”, will he feel at all ?!

This is about the hard truth. Something that can only be shared with very close people. For example, about difficult relationships with parents, bullying, or a former addiction to drugs. Then, revealed after a while, this truth will not frighten the girl and the answer to many questions. For example, why her boyfriend does not communicate with his parents and where did he get the scar on his shoulder. A loving girl will understand what level of trust her half has in her. She will definitely support and will continue to support. Frank conversation will not scare you off, it may be a little shocking, but it will still strengthen the relationship.

And the truth, which does not bother the soul, should be expressed even when meeting each other and on first dates. What a man does or how many women he has is not a truth that requires prior confidence building. This is not provocative news, this is how a person lives. And any relationship must start with honesty and sincerity. So, to build the ground for something more serious.

How to present the truth3

The conversation with the girl should take place in a private setting. The man needs to prepare for the conversation. Invite a woman to a quiet cafe or to your place. You also need to make an appointment in person, not by phone or SMS. In the invitation, be sure to mention that the upcoming conversation is very important to him.

This will help the woman prepare herself mentally and be filled with participation and sympathy from the first minutes of communication. Private conversation and an intimate atmosphere predispose to frank communication. In such an environment, there is no place for masks, feigned indifference and sarcasm to hide the excitement. In such an atmosphere, a man can relax and calmly explain himself to a lady.

You can't let the girl learn about the past from anyone. True, accidentally or specially disclosed by third parties, it will not turn out to be anything good for the relationship. Trust will collapse in an instant. The man will restore it for a very long time and painstakingly. And all the same, the former strong confidence will never return.