To Be Able To Part Peacefully: The Art Of Letting Go And Starting A New Life

A person should be able to part. Writers and philosophers often talk about this. Many people believe that separation is possible only with a loved one. However, it is not. A kind of "divorce" occurs throughout life. First, the child flies away from the parent's nest. After moving, he stops communicating with old friends. All this brings real pain, but makes you stronger. A person must learn to accept all these events with his head held high in order to maintain individuality and not go into the abyss of despair.

The content of the article

• 1 Separation relationship
• 2 Stages of separation
• 3 Parting rules
• 4 Why be able to part?

Separation relationship i

If the events described above occur by themselves, a person is not able to influence them, since these are natural processes, then relations are more complicated.

Rarely "first love" ends with the title "died in one day." Most often, people realize that they are completely different and it's time to go their own ways. However, not everyone decides to take a branching step.

Some continue to meet. But they will never have "happily ever after." The best thing that shines for such a couple is "long and unhappy."

Therefore, it is worth understanding how the separation mechanism works.

Separation stages2

There is a concept according to which there are several stages of accepting the inevitable. This also applies to parting with a loved one.

It all starts with "denial." The boyfriend / girlfriend is not ready to admit that they are no longer together. It seems to them that the door is about to swing open, and they will again see a loved one. He will say a few kind words and everything will continue as before.

This period passes quickly enough. People are aware of the inevitable and experience another emotion - psychological suffering. This is real pain that cannot be cured with pills. Usually the person who is abandoned suffers from this. Only time or new strong emotions will heal the wound.

After the endured suffering, a "retreat" will begin. The soul will stop hurting. The head will begin to look for positive aspects in what happened. A rainbow always appears after a thunderstorm. The main thing is to learn to see it.

Parting rules 3

Learning to part is almost impossible. All this comes with experience. However, you can study what psychologists have to say about this difficult moment in life.

The hardest part is learning how to burn bridges. After all, you always want to have an airbag that you can land on. Suddenly life will not work out, but there will be a chance to return.

Do not deceive yourself with such thoughts. Relationships must be terminated abruptly, without a hint of continuation.

Such "windows" can disfigure the life of an abandoned person. He will be waiting to return, like Hachiko. Because of this, it will not be able to move on, it will only stagnate.

In the art of parting, it is important to learn to explain the reasons. You can't leave without explanation. A former lover will puzzle all his life, trying to find his own mistake.

Don't dismiss the former with formulaic phrases. “We don't fit together” is not an explanation. Plain water, which makes no sense.

Psychologists divide breakups into three broad categories:

1. Positive breakup. Partners are rational about their relationships. They understand that the passion has faded away and cannot continue. Usually, this separation looks like a conversation between two smart people. Most often, such couples manage to maintain communication even after the "divorce".

2. Understatement. "Let's part as friends." Usually these "expenses" start with these silly words. Often partners do not succeed in parting, as they look at their marriage through rose-colored glasses. Families holding on only because of their children are rarely happy. Usually parenting is traumatic for the child's psyche.

3. Negative gap. The most dangerous parting. It is accompanied by screams, quarrels and tantrums. Often lead to psychological trauma and prolonged depression.

Why be able to part? 4

If separation is so hard, why resort to it? You can also try to mend the relationship through dialogues with your loved one.

Unfortunately, people rarely change. Individuality is formed in childhood. Then, over time, the qualities are only consolidated. If people in love do not suit each other, they are obliged to part, otherwise life will not work out.

Everyone will die sooner or later. It is not known whether the afterlife exists or not. Therefore, it is worth playing those cards that were given during life.

You shouldn't devote yourself to another person. This introduces a large number of restrictions in everyday life. If people have different goals, it is better for them to scatter so as not to be disappointed in the future.

Relationships are amazing. Two people meet and experience true love. They are overwhelmed with accordions, they enjoy each other's company. However, the system often crashes. Feelings may fade away or the circumstance may develop in such a way that a break is inevitable. A person should be able to part. This is the only way to live a real happy life.