How To Properly Maintain A Conversation: The Golden Rules Of Competent Dialogue

Communication is an ancient way of transmitting information in any form: written, oral, sign. People have always tried to be able to correctly build a line of conversation. Moreover, this line is different for each case: employer - employee, parents - children, husband - wife. This also includes small talk or friendly chat. All these conversations are subject to a certain algorithm, which is quite easy to follow. But there is a type of conversation that will always be sheer improvisation. This is "a young man - a girl", communication on the first date.

The content of the article

• 1 Conversation topic
• 2 Correct Questions
• 3 Story about yourself
• 4 Thought filter
• 5 Pause
• 6 Ability to listen
• 7 Compliments

Talking topici

Whatever one may say, but you will have to think over a topic for conversation. The script for the first date is usually the same. We met, greeted, went to a cafe and stupidly kept silent half the way. An exemplary dialogue is banal to the point of convulsion: “Hello, how are you? What did you do? " Not a conversation, but an interrogation with passion. But you can become a guide for 5 minutes and tell at least the story of the appearance of the street along which the route runs. If there is nothing special in the prospectus, tell about the history of the cuisine that should satisfy the gastronomic needs when visiting the cafe.

It is important not to get euphoric from your own knowledge, but to carefully monitor the reaction of the interlocutor. He may well be uninteresting, if only because he himself knows all this. Well, or not his wave. Then you need to quickly collapse the topic and try to develop another.

Sometimes a counterpart himself starts some kind of conversation, and then an incident may happen: no knowledge, no interest. Then you should either gently translate the conversation, or begin to take an active interest and ask clarifying questions.

The right questions2

You need to be able to ask questions. Otherwise, the conversation runs the risk of turning into an interrogation. It really pisses me off. Questions should not look like items on a questionnaire. You can ask to tell funny stories related to professional activities. You can ask about your interests or taste preferences. In general, the questions should be easy and conducive to the development of some new topic.

Story about yourself3

On the first date, you can and should briefly tell about yourself. But this story should not become an ode to yourself. 5 minutes is enough to talk about your short life and achievements. This story should be diluted with questions to the interlocutor, so that he not only listens to all this nonsense of the past, but also takes a lively part. Then you don't have to be painfully silent, remembering another story.

Thought filter4

Oh, this is the enemy of any first conversation. No, he, of course, must be, otherwise you can say all sorts of nonsense, after which you can not count on a second meeting. But at the same time, you need to filter thoughts so that there are no stupid pauses in the conversation. In theory, the situation with filters from the "pan-or-go" category. On the one hand, the partner gets to know each other as closely as possible at the very start, on the other hand, you can check your fate if she suddenly decides that there is a complete moron nearby. So it is necessary to separate the grains from the chaff, but not to the very limit.

Pause 5

Without a pause, nowhere. This is a natural moment in any conversation. There is no need to be afraid of this. Moreover, a pause can be a great helper, because it allows you to collect your thoughts, take a break, start a new topic, or help the interlocutor open up. The pause is intended to show that it is time for your partner to join the conversation. And then this is no longer a date, but some kind of monologue.

Ability to listen6

Listening is very important in a conversation. You shouldn't take out your phone at this moment and look for something there. The person speaks, which means you need to delve into the conversation, and not indulge in your own thoughts. In the course of the story, you should ask questions and insert interjections that will show keen interest. Everyone knows that interrupting is not good. But, if you can't wait to insert your "5 kopecks", then this should be done in the topic and only when the interlocutor has completed the narration and paused.

Girls tend to complain about a bitter fate. This is one of the nuances of a first date conversation. And here it is not necessary to play the role of an arbitrator. It is better to offer your vision of the problem and try to jointly look for a way out of this situation. Then the girl will immediately feel the first promises of care and support.

Compliments7

But with them you need to be careful. The first compliment, of course, comes at the very beginning of the meeting. It can be clumsy and standard, but it needs to be said. This is elementary etiquette. During the date itself, you should not scatter groans of delight. This is pretty tiring and smacks of insincerity. Downright "the cuckoo praises the rooster for praising the cuckoo." But at the end of the meeting, there must be a compliment. He should relate to everything at once: to the person, and to the meeting itself, and to the conversation. This is also the etiquette of communication.